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Lindsay Lohan Got A New Mommy

Michael Lohan decided not to tell his kids that he was making an honest woman out of Kate Major the second she got out of jail gestating his second bastard child. It's kind of romantic in an abandoned building shooting gallery love affair kind of way. Having his celebrity kids attend the wedding would've turned the entire event into a media circus rather than the quiet Satanic letting of the blood in the name of the...read more

Michael Lohan Hires Casey Anthony's Attorney to Thwart Vaginal Bleeding

I thought we had come together as a society and decided eugenics were okey-dokey for crack whores and the Lohans. So, crack whores. But, no, Michael Lohan got his drug and alcohol addicted latest wife pregnant again. Now she's in a Palm Beach jail for violating probation and her fecund lady parts are bleeding and nobody seems to care. Except Casey Anthony's attorney who Lohan hired to make somebody care about the...read more