Somebody Get Katie Cassidy a Thong

By Lex May 05, 2014 @ 4:41 PM

Katie Cassidy In A Mismatched Bikini At The Beach In Miami
Fuck it, Kate Cassidy, if you’re not going to try I’m not going to try. I’m taking back my 70′s porn star belly chain and either your bikini top or bottom, whichever ones don’t match, and I’m going home. You’ll be left exposed, un-jeweled around your torso, and everybody will mistake you for the cheese on a stick girl from the mall that give head on first dates. Get yourself one of them thong bikinis or we’re done here.

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News

Katie Cassidy Is a Fashion Disaster

By Lex April 30, 2014 @ 5:49 PM

Katie Cassidy In A Mismatched Bikini At Miami Beach
Fuck, Keith Partridge’s daughter is back. She got rid of all the bling, but that mismatched bikini, wow, it wouldn’t be a stretch for the Style Police to arrest her for that faux pas. Smackdown. Casting shade. Fuck, she confuses me. As this world continues to close down titty magazines and open up ten more fashion and style rags in their stead, I feel like I’m losing ground. That escalator to the moon can’t come soon enough.

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News

Katie Cassidy Looks Complicated

By Lex April 29, 2014 @ 4:06 PM

Katie Cassidy In An Orange Bikini At The Beach In Miami
I’ve been staring at these photos of Keith Partridge’s daughter trying to figure out if they’re sexy or not. You can froget the letters about how she’s out of my league. That’s hardly a standard. David Cassidy himself during a DUI arrest mug shot is out of my league. But Katie. I don’t know. I think it’s all the accessories that are throwing me off. Does she need eight rings and five bracelets and four necklaces for a dip in the ocean? Does me even noticing that make me gay? And what about that restrictive bra top. Does Katie Cassidy hate her own boobs? I don’t hate boobs, or I didn’t think so until I started noticing her jewelry and realized I was probably closer to Kevin Spacey than Kevin Sorbo. I need to stop looking now.

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News

Katie Cassidy, The Partridge Family Bus, and Five Minutes Alone Time

By Lex April 09, 2013 @ 1:46 PM

I bet for some of you whacking it to Keith Partridge’s daughter is somewhat off-putting. Meh, everybody is somebody’s daughter. You can’t hang yourself in Fantasyland. Now, if you’re imagining Keith watching you do his girl in the back of the Partridge Family bus while Shirley Jones disapprovingly taps her tambourine — welcome to my hell.

Here’s the Archer actress in a photoshoot for Sharp magazine.








Photo Credit: Sharp Magazine

KATIE CASSIDY IS COOL

By brendon November 15, 2007 @ 1:12 PM

Katie Cassidy isn't famous, but if she were, this would be a story about the famous Katie Cassidy getting drunk and lying to the cops about her identity.  Think how cool that would be.  Awesome, right?  If you must know, she was Adam Sandlers daughter in "Click", and she's on "Supernatural" and some other goofy crap, but now she's won a leading role in my heart after her drunken late night antics.  The Smoking Gun says:

When Katie Cassidy, 20, was popped two weeks ago by Tucson, Arizona cops following a 2:15 AM traffic stop, she claimed to be Taylor Quinn Cole, a 23-year-old actress.
According to Tucson Police Department reports, Cassidy was riding in a Chevy truck driven by a 19-year-old male when the vehicle was pulled over for moving violations on October 30. She appeared drunk when quizzed by cops, who noted her slurred speech, clumsy movements, and booze breath. Cassidy's blood alcohol content was .16, twice the legal limit.
Cassidy, a West Hollywood resident, told cops she lived in Vancouver and was not carrying any identification. She claimed her name was Taylor Quinn Cole and that she was 21. Asked her date of birth, Cassidy replied, "4-29-84." An officer then told her that date would have made her 23. That's when Cassidy confessed, "Okay, Okay, I lied to you–that wasn't my real name." [The 1984 date Cassidy offered is Cole's actual birth date.] Cassidy told police that she lied about her identity because she was scared and, according to one report, "She said that she is a Hollywood actress and that this would not look good for her."

Now this is more like it.  This is how whores in Hollywood are supposed to act.  Getting drunk, lying to the cops, stealing someone else's identity.  I'm surprised she didn't grab his gun.  Lindsay Lohan can keep making teddy bears for the retarded or whatever the hell it is her boring ass does now, we've got a new Lindsay.  And even better Lindsay.  Lindsay 2 is just as drunk but not a fat freckled mess like Lindsay 1.  Lindsay 2 is extreme.  Extremely interesting, that is.