WHAT A SEXY INJURY

By brendon August 27, 2008 @ 3:22 PM

The Daily Mail says that onlookers were “shocked” as Katie Holmes left rehearsals last night on Broadway because of several prominent bruises on both of her knees.  

The actress smiled at waiting photographers, but her navy shift dress revealed the painful-looking injuries.
Despite the late hour, the wife of actor Tom Cruise accessorized her simple outfit with a pair of oversized designer shades.
Perhaps the 29-year-old hurt herself entertaining two-year-old daughter Suri.  Hands-on mum Katie thinks nothing of kicking off her shoes to join her pretty daughter on the trampoline or at play.

She was giving head.  There.  We were all thinking it.   She bruised her knees when she dropped to the floor to blow some guy.  And I bet it was crazy good.  I don’t know why but I think Katie would be awesome in bed.  Some girls you can just tell.  Sex with Katie would be like riding a bronco.  Sex with Jennifer Love Hewitt would be reading a county school boards budget.

(picture source = splash news)



NO ONE LIKES KATIE HOLMES OR SOMETHING

By brendon August 22, 2008 @ 8:33 AM

Katie Holmes is just beginning her first run on Broadway in the Author Miller play, "All My Sons".  It stars John Lithgow, Dianne Wiest, Patrick Wilson and Katie, and it’s about a guy selling defective plane parts in WWII, yet for some reason Katie is the one getting blamed for poor ticket sales.  MSNBC says…

One needs to look no further than the successes of “A Chorus Line” and “Spamalot” for proof that celebrities sell Broadway tickets, but in the case of “All My Sons,” that rule might not necessarily apply.
Ticket sales for the show, which stars Katie Holmes and Patrick Wilson, are thus far “definitely off from what the production hoped,” according to a source close to “Sons.” It’s hard to know what exactly is to blame.
“You can’t say it’s the economy,” says the source, “because there are shows, like ‘Mamma Mia’ that are selling out.” One possibility bandied about is that audiences are too nostalgic for Holmes’ “Dawson’s Creek” persona to clamor for tickets. “It’s not that Katie’s bad in the part. She’s good enough. The producers are just getting the feeling people still want to view Katie as sweet little Joey Potter.”

WTF are they talking about?  It’s a drama about dead kids and romance and airplane parts.  This shit is boring, that’s not Katie’s fault.  Put her in a play called "Tits Ahoy" if you wanna sell some tickets.

EVERYONE HATES TOM CRUISE

By brendon August 14, 2008 @ 1:17 PM

After almost 30 years together, Paula Wagner is no longer working with Tom Cruise.   She has left her position as chief executive officer of United Artists, where Cruise set up his production company after being fired from Paramount.  Variety says…

Since Wagner and Tom Cruise became co-owners of the company with MGM, Wagner tried to greenlight movies but frequently butted heads with MGM. Harry Sloan was concentrating on his own slate, which he was developing with head of production Mary Parent, and trying to raise financing for MGM pics.
MGM execs insist that Wagner could have greenlit anything she wanted but wasn’t developing aggressively enough.
In a statement, Wagner was diplomatic about her exit.
"I’ve truly relished working with my longtime partner Tom Cruise to revitalize United Artists, and I am proud of all that we’ve accomplished in the past two years, reinvigorating the brand and developing such a strong slate of films.  As much as I’ve enjoyed my time as an executive, I have longed to return to my true love, which is making movies, so that’s what I’ve decided to do"

Yeah I don't really care about this either, but it was a good reason to post those pictures of Katie with no bra.  God she used to be so cute.  Tom Cruise completely ruined her in three years.  She could have met the Zodiac Killer three years ago and looked better than this.

(picture source = splash)



WHATS WRONG WITH KATIES HANDS

By brendon July 18, 2008 @ 10:03 AM

Much is being made today of the fact that Katie Holmes has been seen while filming her cameo on the ABC show "Eli Stone" either hiding her hands (above) or wearing gloves (here).  One picture in particular (this one) seems to have some in a breathless tizzy because her hands kinda sorta look purple (close up here).  Perez is saying her hands are turning weird colors because of some radical and dangerous Scientology purification program called Purif.  He called her hands “freakily discolored”.  I have no idea if she’s in scientology detox or not, but all of these pictures were taken on the same day as the one in question, and for the most part her hands look normal (here).  So I think what we’ve learned here is that sometime pictures do lie.  Like this one.  I don’t think they even make banana phones, so how could he be talking to someone?

TOM IS SHORT. OH I GUESS I WAS WRONG.

By brendon July 17, 2008 @ 7:16 AM

Jared has some pictures up today showing a very stately Tom Cruise.  He’s been 5’6” for 20 years but as of last night he’s a damn giant.  Maybe it's forced perspective or whatever but they’re the same height, at best, and last night Katie was wearing 3-inch heels, yet Tom still looks taller.  So this can only mean he’s wearing lifts.  Which is funny.  I hope this is his new thing.  I dream of the day he gets out of the limo and clomps his feet down and sticks his arms out and waves them in big circles to keep his balance as he steps down the red carpet in KISS boots from 1978, all while grinning like an idiot and pretending none of this is happening.

KATIE AND HER GRANDPA AT MTV

By brendon June 02, 2008 @ 4:12 AM

Tom Cruise wore a very handsome sweater to yesterdays MTV Movie Awards, a perfect indicator for how hip and edgy this thing has gotten lately.  After this he played with the thermostat for a while and then listed places around town with the cheapest gas.  Then he settled in with a nice cup of chamomile and went nitey-nite.  What an evening!