EVERYONE HATES TOM CRUISE

By brendon August 14, 2008 @ 1:17 PM

After almost 30 years together, Paula Wagner is no longer working with Tom Cruise.   She has left her position as chief executive officer of United Artists, where Cruise set up his production company after being fired from Paramount.  Variety says…

Since Wagner and Tom Cruise became co-owners of the company with MGM, Wagner tried to greenlight movies but frequently butted heads with MGM. Harry Sloan was concentrating on his own slate, which he was developing with head of production Mary Parent, and trying to raise financing for MGM pics.
MGM execs insist that Wagner could have greenlit anything she wanted but wasn’t developing aggressively enough.
In a statement, Wagner was diplomatic about her exit.
"I’ve truly relished working with my longtime partner Tom Cruise to revitalize United Artists, and I am proud of all that we’ve accomplished in the past two years, reinvigorating the brand and developing such a strong slate of films.  As much as I’ve enjoyed my time as an executive, I have longed to return to my true love, which is making movies, so that’s what I’ve decided to do"

Yeah I don't really care about this either, but it was a good reason to post those pictures of Katie with no bra.  God she used to be so cute.  Tom Cruise completely ruined her in three years.  She could have met the Zodiac Killer three years ago and looked better than this.

(picture source = splash)



WHATS WRONG WITH KATIES HANDS

By brendon July 18, 2008 @ 10:03 AM

Much is being made today of the fact that Katie Holmes has been seen while filming her cameo on the ABC show "Eli Stone" either hiding her hands (above) or wearing gloves (here).  One picture in particular (this one) seems to have some in a breathless tizzy because her hands kinda sorta look purple (close up here).  Perez is saying her hands are turning weird colors because of some radical and dangerous Scientology purification program called Purif.  He called her hands “freakily discolored”.  I have no idea if she’s in scientology detox or not, but all of these pictures were taken on the same day as the one in question, and for the most part her hands look normal (here).  So I think what we’ve learned here is that sometime pictures do lie.  Like this one.  I don’t think they even make banana phones, so how could he be talking to someone?

TOM IS SHORT. OH I GUESS I WAS WRONG.

By brendon July 17, 2008 @ 7:16 AM

Jared has some pictures up today showing a very stately Tom Cruise.  He’s been 5’6” for 20 years but as of last night he’s a damn giant.  Maybe it's forced perspective or whatever but they’re the same height, at best, and last night Katie was wearing 3-inch heels, yet Tom still looks taller.  So this can only mean he’s wearing lifts.  Which is funny.  I hope this is his new thing.  I dream of the day he gets out of the limo and clomps his feet down and sticks his arms out and waves them in big circles to keep his balance as he steps down the red carpet in KISS boots from 1978, all while grinning like an idiot and pretending none of this is happening.

KATIE AND HER GRANDPA AT MTV

By brendon June 02, 2008 @ 4:12 AM

Tom Cruise wore a very handsome sweater to yesterdays MTV Movie Awards, a perfect indicator for how hip and edgy this thing has gotten lately.  After this he played with the thermostat for a while and then listed places around town with the cheapest gas.  Then he settled in with a nice cup of chamomile and went nitey-nite.  What an evening!

KATIE HOLMES LOOKS … BETTER?

By brendon April 02, 2008 @ 9:09 AM

Bauer Griffin has some pictures of Katie Holmes new super short haircut, and although I will look back longingly to her time as the Berries and Cream lad, I like this one too because Tom Cruise has been getting fat lately, and I miss the old timey comedy teams where one guy was short and fat and the other guy was tall and skinny.  Hopefully they’ll do that bit where one of them has a ladder on their shoulder and they turn around and bonk the other one in the head.  Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk!

KATIE WAS TOMS FOURTH CHOICE

By brendon March 10, 2008 @ 9:10 AM

The story that Tom Cruise set up and auditioned prospective wives – the result of which was Katie Holmes – has been around for a few years now and been on Tyler at least twice (including here) but today it's alive again, this time because of new claims from an ex high ranking scientologist.  So does this mean its true?  Uhh, sure why not.  Page Six says:

Marc Headley, who used to produce promotional films for the religion, spoke to Britain’s News of the World and said that following Tom's split from Penelope Cruz in 2004, the megastar told head of Scientology David Miscavige that he was having trouble meeting women. So the church sent out a casting call that said, “There’s an upcoming Tom Cruise movie you might get a part in. Come for an audition.” There were of course restrictions: You had to be single, pretty and in your twenties.
While a few female Scientologists were rounded up — Traffic’s Erika Christensen and CSI: Miami's Sofia Milos — they were all rejected as Tom focused his attention on bigger stars. “They went for Jennifer Garner, Scarlett Johansson and Jessica Alba, in that order,” Marc says. “Jennifer and Jessica didn’t bite but Scarlett took the bait and came in for an audition. When she arrived and found out it was the Scientology Center in Hollywood, she freaked out and didn’t do a tape…”

It's hard not to notice that this is pretty much the same thing lonely perverts do when they want to bang teen runaways forced into porn.  They set up fake production offices and put out ads for "new models".  And it works too. (*)  

(*) don’t I know it … heh heh heh

NOTE – Im pretty sure Scarlett Johansson was already cast in MI:3, along with that Trinity chick from the Matrix, when it was still set to be written and directed by (the great) Joe Carnahan.  He dropped out, JJ Abrahams stepped in, and Scarlett’s role was written out, but only after Cruise freaked her out by trying to marry her.