Suri Cruise Bugs the Shit Out of Her Mom at Work

By Lex August 26, 2013 @ 1:06 PM

Suri Cruise Has A Meltdown And Tugs Katie Holmes' Skirt On The Set Of 'Miss Meadows' In Ohio
Suri Cruise melted down on the set of the film Miss Meadows where Katie Holmes was shooting a wedding scene. Suri may just be seven, but she knows that every time her mom marries, another spawn of Xenu’s Intergalactic War Dragons is born. To prove her point, Suri welled up tears made of a corrosive acid and shot fire balls out of her mouth, leveling the entire set. Though it was on location in Cleveland, so nobody really noticed.

Photo Credit: PCN

Katie Holmes On a Date

By Lex June 24, 2013 @ 3:55 PM

Katie Holmes Out To Lunch With Male Friend In New York
You can tell by looking at Katie Holmes on her lunch date that this dude is not getting any. It’s not just the Amish granny at the buggy market outfit Katie picked out for her big date. It’s not her rape-prevention stance. Or even the way she refuses to acknowledge that he’s standing right next to her trying to sound interesting. But whatever virtual neutering Tom Cruise does to his wives, it seems to take a couple or three years to shake. The good news is both Mimi Rogers and Nicole Kidman became pretty notorious sex fiends once they finally shook out the Xenu.. This dude needs to save his lunch money for a year or so and pick it up with Katie when he finds her in a high hem line in the produce section of the Whole Foods. That’s the unspoken celebrity signal that you’re ready for sex.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet, PCN

Katie Holmes Sideboob

By Lex May 08, 2013 @ 8:40 AM

Katie Holmes Side Boob At The Met Gala
When I see Katie Holmes boobs, I can’t help but think of Tom Cruise not wanting to touch them, In a game of I Never, Tom Cruise would not have to drink when somebody said I’ve Never touched Katie Holmes tits before. That’s convenient, because he doesn’t take to the drink. Or boobs. Even if Xenu had commanded him to touch her fleshy bits, he’d probably lie to the galactic traveler and feign a paw in her general vicinity. You’ve got to really hate tits to pull a fast one on Xenu.

Here’s Katie at the Met Gala showing sideboob. It’s not a crazy public scene, but just a year ago this could’ve got her locked in the Thinking Closet for seventeen hours.

Photo Credit: Getty, INF, WENN

Katie Holmes wants Joshua Jackson back

By brendon September 27, 2012 @ 2:12 PM

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Katie Holmes has said that Joshua Jackson was her first true love, and he tells Us magazine that they recently talked on the phone for the first time in years, and now every girl who was 15 when ‘Dawsons Creek’ was on just came in her pants.

Jackson, 35, revealed that he recently received an out-of-the-blue call from his Dawson’s Creek costar Holmes, now 33 and freshly divorced from Tom Cruise.
“Like any old friend, it was like, ‘Oh, hi how are ya? What’s going on?’; ‘I had a kid,’” (Jackson) said. “It was very nice, actually.”

I bet when January Jones has that same kind of conversation with an ex she wants back, the guy will say, “I heard you had a kid.” And she’ll say, “What? Oh yeah, I guess. Don’t remind me. I mean, I have a kid, but I don’t have to have a kid, if you catch my drift. If it’s a problem, hey, accidents happen, ya know?”

Tom Cruise might be leaving Scientology. But why?

By brendon September 26, 2012 @ 7:07 PM

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This seems unlikely, but Star says Tom Cruise has been distancing himself from Scientology in the wake of his divorce from Katie Holmes and spending more time with non-Scientologist friends because he feels it has hurt him both personally and professionally.

“Tom’s been leaning on friends who have different perspectives, getting advice on moving on from Katie as well as on everything he’s been going through with Scientology,” the insider said. “He’s finally seeing that being such an advocate for Scientology hasn’t served him as well as he’d hoped — he’s gone through three divorces, and his public perception has sunk to an all-time low.”

Hopefully this is true because Tom Cruise is a genuinely nice guy by all accounts. I assume Scientology will try to harass him into staying but just ignore them. They’re basically sci-fi nerds. They’re about as intimidating as those gangs in old movies who walk together in a line snapping their fingers.

do Suris legs not work or something

By brendon July 18, 2012 @ 2:07 PM

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Yesterday Tom Cruise picked up his daughter Suri for his first visitation, and he hasn’t put her down since. They went to Tom’s hotel, then left the hotel to get in a car, which took them to her gymnastics class, and today they got on a helicopter, and Cruise carried her the entire time.

She’s 6. Seems a little old to be carried everywhere. Tom should tell her to stop being such a needy little princess, just like my dad told me when I wanted to see a doctor about my broken arm.

(image source = fame/flynet)