Katie Holmes Sideboob

By Lex May 08, 2013 @ 8:40 AM

Katie Holmes Side Boob At The Met Gala
When I see Katie Holmes boobs, I can’t help but think of Tom Cruise not wanting to touch them, In a game of I Never, Tom Cruise would not have to drink when somebody said I’ve Never touched Katie Holmes tits before. That’s convenient, because he doesn’t take to the drink. Or boobs. Even if Xenu had commanded him to touch her fleshy bits, he’d probably lie to the galactic traveler and feign a paw in her general vicinity. You’ve got to really hate tits to pull a fast one on Xenu.

Here’s Katie at the Met Gala showing sideboob. It’s not a crazy public scene, but just a year ago this could’ve got her locked in the Thinking Closet for seventeen hours.

Photo Credit: Getty, INF, WENN

Katie Holmes wants Joshua Jackson back

By brendon September 27, 2012 @ 2:12 PM


Katie Holmes has said that Joshua Jackson was her first true love, and he tells Us magazine that they recently talked on the phone for the first time in years, and now every girl who was 15 when ‘Dawsons Creek’ was on just came in her pants.

Jackson, 35, revealed that he recently received an out-of-the-blue call from his Dawson’s Creek costar Holmes, now 33 and freshly divorced from Tom Cruise.
“Like any old friend, it was like, ‘Oh, hi how are ya? What’s going on?’; ‘I had a kid,’” (Jackson) said. “It was very nice, actually.”

I bet when January Jones has that same kind of conversation with an ex she wants back, the guy will say, “I heard you had a kid.” And she’ll say, “What? Oh yeah, I guess. Don’t remind me. I mean, I have a kid, but I don’t have to have a kid, if you catch my drift. If it’s a problem, hey, accidents happen, ya know?”

Tom Cruise might be leaving Scientology. But why?

By brendon September 26, 2012 @ 7:07 PM


This seems unlikely, but Star says Tom Cruise has been distancing himself from Scientology in the wake of his divorce from Katie Holmes and spending more time with non-Scientologist friends because he feels it has hurt him both personally and professionally.

“Tom’s been leaning on friends who have different perspectives, getting advice on moving on from Katie as well as on everything he’s been going through with Scientology,” the insider said. “He’s finally seeing that being such an advocate for Scientology hasn’t served him as well as he’d hoped — he’s gone through three divorces, and his public perception has sunk to an all-time low.”

Hopefully this is true because Tom Cruise is a genuinely nice guy by all accounts. I assume Scientology will try to harass him into staying but just ignore them. They’re basically sci-fi nerds. They’re about as intimidating as those gangs in old movies who walk together in a line snapping their fingers.

do Suris legs not work or something

By brendon July 18, 2012 @ 2:07 PM

Yesterday Tom Cruise picked up his daughter Suri for his first visitation, and he hasn’t put her down since. They went to Tom’s hotel, then left the hotel to get in a car, which took them to her gymnastics class, and today they got on a helicopter, and Cruise carried her the entire time.

She’s 6. Seems a little old to be carried everywhere. Tom should tell her to stop being such a needy little princess, just like my dad told me when I wanted to see a doctor about my broken arm.

(image source = fame/flynet)

Tom Cruise got to visit Suri today

By brendon July 17, 2012 @ 7:02 PM


Tom Cruise was allowed to visit his daughter Suri in New York today for the first time since Katie Holmes filed for divorce, the Daily Mail says. Because, remember, he’s the bad parent. His religion takes millions of dollars from it’s members and believes in an all powerful being who came to earth a long time ago, whereas Katie Holmes is a Catholic.

Suri was hit by a garbage truck

By brendon July 17, 2012 @ 1:03 PM


Wait, what? Why was Suri Cruise in the garbage to begin with? Why did Katie Holmes throw her away? Is she Chinese? Let’s find out together friends!

E! News has confirmed that the duo’s vehicle was dinged by a garbage truck in midtown Manhattan.
At around 9:30 p.m. a black Mercedes driven by Holmes’ chauffeur got into a fender-bender with a private sanitation truck.
No injuries were reported … Holmes and Suri were reportedly on their way back from gymnastics class.

You can see Holmes creepily peering around here, and the damage to the car here. That’s the side where Suri was sitting so it’s lucky that there were no injurious. “Luck had nothing to do with it,” the truck driver hissed as he shape shifted back into the form of Scientology leader David Miscavige. “This was only a hint of my power!”

(image source = bauer griffin)