Katy Perry was too boring in bed for Russell Brand

By brendon January 05, 2012 @ 2:12 PM

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Russell Brand says he used to be a sex addict and have sex 5 times a day, so if it seemed unlikely that the religious and sugary-sweet Katy Perry could satisfy him in bed, that’s because it was.

Russell Brand is notorious for his once-wild lifestyle and attempts to change his bad boy ways. But according to a report in the newest issue of Us Weekly, Brand allegedly wasn’t able to kick all of his bad habits.
“Katy was kinky enough during their first times together and he was very attracted to her,” a source claimed.

Wait, so she was more fun in bed before she got married, but then made sex routine and monotonous? Well this is the first I’ve ever heard of a girl like that. What did he want that she was too good for anyway?

“He likes dirty things. He really gets off on one particular porno with a guy in a wheelchair. He’s attracted to things he can’t imagine happening to him. (And) he has a closet full of sex toys.”

Ok well obviously I didn’t know about the wheelchair thing. Maybe she has a point. Because if you’re a hot girl with big tits, and you can move in the direction that your hair is pulled and open your mouth on command, the sex is gonna be fine. I should write that on my eharmony profile somewhere. I don’t have time for a bunch of games.

Katy Perry and Russell Brand file for divorce

By brendon December 30, 2011 @ 5:10 PM

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Because the best way to kill a story is to announce it right before a holiday, Katy Perry and Russell Brand confirmed the worlds worst secret today and filed for divorce.

A year after their fairy-tale wedding in India, it seems Katy Perry and Russell Brand won’t be living happily ever after.
Brand, 36, filed for divorce in Los Angeles on Friday, citing irreconcilable differences.
“Sadly, Katy and I are ending our marriage,” he said in a statement to PEOPLE. “I’ll always adore her and I know we’ll remain friends.”

So does this mean we can deport Russell Brand now? Because that would be terrific.

Katy Perry is almost single

By brendon December 29, 2011 @ 11:44 AM

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Us magazine says, “It was Christmastime fireworks for Katy Perry and Russell Brand this year — but not the good kind,” which leads one to assume Katy Perry and Russell Brand are fighting again, and that Us is under the impression that people shoot off fireworks at Christmas.

After planning to whisk her family via private jet to husband Brand’s London hometown for the holidays, Perry, changed course, opting to fly to Hawaii with friends.
“They had a massive fight. She was like, ‘F–k you. I’m going to do my own thing.’ Russell replied, ‘Fine, f–k you too.’”
Which explains why, come Dec. 25, (Perry) was seen in Kauai — sans wedding ring. Meanwhile, Brand, was in a pub in chilly Coverack, Cornwall.
“They haven’t split up just yet, but things are not good,” says the first source. “The fighting is getting worse.”

One of the main issues seems to be that Perrys parents are deeply conservative Christians, and Brand thinks that’s kind of silly. You would think they could at lead get along at Christmas, what with all the gifts and decorations and the fireworks roasting in an open fire.

is Katy Perry pregnant or not

By brendon December 15, 2011 @ 12:20 PM

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Katy Perry was at the Grove yesterday doing a promotion for her perfume ‘Meow’(*), and the way her dress fit has people wondering (again) if she’s pregnant. If I knew I would tell you, but I’ve been avoiding her since she came over all freaked out about missing her period. As if this is my fault; I’m the one who told her to swallow!

(*) the name of her perfume is ‘meow’, i wasn’t doing that thing from ‘super troopers’. her other one is called ‘purr’. image source = wenn

Katy Perry won the American Music Awards

By brendon November 21, 2011 @ 12:48 PM

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For the second time in three years Taylor Swift won Artist of the Year at the American Music Awards, but the real winner last night was all of us because Katy Perry had pink hair and wore this dress that showed off her big tits. Katy also brought those homemade cupcakes that were such a big hit at the after party, so you can go fuck yourself Taylor Swift.

(image source = getty and splash)

Katy Perry had a cowgirl birthday party

By brendon November 16, 2011 @ 3:20 PM

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Much like she did two years ago, Katy Perry threw a big elaborate birthday party for herself on Friday, and now a few pictures have started to show up; “that’s raycess” Russell Brand, random hot cowgirl sluts, and group shot with a gay guys ass in chaps, thankfully included.

(image source = flynet and Mark Hunter. way more pics on his site here)