Okay, now was this really so hard? After the KISS concert Katy Perry got drunk off her ass at Cherry Pop in West Hollywood and ground her ass into some dudes crotch. I think that means they're in love.
12.08.2008 IM NOT KIDDING, I HATE YOU
Katy Perry has only been around about 6 months and I’ve already had it up to here with her dorky idiotic shenanigans (I don’t know if you guys are picking up on this, but I'm using my hand to indicate a level just below my chin). Last night she came on stage at the KIIS FM show inside a giant banana. It was like watching Nick Jr., except the music was way way worse.
11.14.2008 IS THAT … WAIT, WHAT IS THAT
Katy Perry was on stage in Canada earlier this week, when, all of a sudden, hey look it's her tits. And now finally decent pictures are available. Although, I can't lie to you, it's still hard to see anything good. She’s so pale and her nips are so pink, it's like a kittens paws. I'm not even positive what that means but I'm pretty sure it still makes sense. Either way, it freaks me out. I don’t need to be thinking about kittens paws smacking my penis. Again. Kitty and I promised to never speak of that night.
10.29.2008 KATY PERRYS HALLOWEEN PARTY
Katy Perry had her Halloween party last night, she’s the one in yellow dressed as Freddy Mercury, and let me be clear: if you go out this weekend and you couldn't think of anything more original than Heath Ledgers Joker or Amy Winehouse, I hate you. I swear to God I hate you. This dipshit doesn’t even get the Joker right. He’s got the white all slathered on. Ledgers was great for the exact opposite reason. The white was all cracked and faded and messed up. Although this guy is forgiven because if he likes Katy Perry he’s used to just rubbing it all over whenever he gets something white on his face.
10.27.2008 THE WORLDS WORST TREND
Gwen Stefani tried to hide her face as she left for a Halloween party Saturday, and well, of course she did. She was dressed as a fucking egg. Katy Perry did the same thing on the same night but didn’t have the decency to act embarrassed about it. They both have awesome bodies so why they would do this to me – me personally - is one of the worlds great mysteries. Why even be real foxy if you don’t dress as a Hooters waitress or a sexy Indian for Halloween? I need to pull Katy aside, tell her I don’t like your tone, young lady.
(picture source = splash)
10.17.2008 KATY IS GRACEFUL LIKE A SWAN
Katy Perry was on the Mexican version of the MTV Music Awards last night (the what?) and she ended her set by jumping on a giant cake. I can’t even begin to explain why. It's every bit as boring as it sounds. But then the lighthearted levity continues as she smears cake on some dude. Oh, I know. So scandalous. Luckily she then promptly falls on her ass. Not once but like 4 times. And before the first one she runs in place for a little while first, like Scooby Doo would when a ghost was after him. Except this is way less fun.
