Katy Perry helped out the band 3OH-something-something-I-have-no-idea and got all wet in a fountain for their new video. And while being in a band seems like a cool job, it’s not nearly as cool as the guy who answered the ad to fondle Katy Perrys huge breasts. I’m sure he’s gay (ungrateful bastard) but I would pretend to be gay too for a job where my responsibilities included “Feel Some Big Titties”. Unfortunately they might catch on when I stared into her eyes the whole time with an erection. Then pulled her hair and called her a whore. And then came.
More often than not, Katy Perry dresses like a special needs student and does everything she can to look unattractive. But every now and then, she’ll remember she’s a hot girl with huge breasts and dress accordingly. Last night at the MTV VMAs was one of those times. You would be really mad if you’re one of those religious people who think semen should only be used for procreation and masturbation wastes the gift of life, because I just destroyed more life in one shot than Darth Vader when he blew up that planet.
(20 more pictures here. hq jump here. source = splash and wenn)
Okay so I have 8 tickets to see Katy Perry, live at the Hollywood Palladium this Saturday night. But I’m no good at thinking up contests. Let’s just do this: I’m thinking of a number between 1 and 100. The first 4 who get it get 2 tix each. Email what it might be to the new contact address: email@example.com
Or if you’re a hot girl just send topless pictures. Of course I won’t hold my breath because I’ve been doing this damn site for 4 years and never once has a girl sent me topless pictures. Is Tyler blocked everywhere except for Mormon math camps or something, jesus christ.
UPDATE – 2 down, 6 to go.
UPDATE – 4 down, 4 to go. And stop guessing 69 ya fukkin perverts.
UPDATE – I swear to you, its not 69. God you people are filthy.
UPDATE – 6 down, 2 to go. Maybe the number has changed to 69 now. Try guessing that a hundred more times. Maybe I thought it was something else.
UPDATE – 47. it was 47. another good number is 0. that’s how many pictures came in. is it just prisoners reading this. do you people not have phones.
So Buzznet, the international conglomerate of websites and defense contractors who will tell you they’re just an urban legend if you investigate them, has used their iron hand to prove they can throw together major concerts on a whim, in this case, Katy Perry at the Hollywood Palladium this Saturday night. And to prove money means nothing to them, they’re giving away free tickets. Do this to get them:
- Send the following twitter message from your twitter account:
I want to see @katyperry at the Hollywood Palladium on 8/29 presented by @soundsofbuzz and Coca-Cola
- Show up with proof (on your phone, print out, etc) to Space15Twenty on 8/25 at 2:00 pm. Get in line. The first 100 people will be given a cold coca-cola and a pair of tickets to Katy Perry.
- Space15Twenty is located on 1520 N. Cahuenga Blvd Los Angeles, CA 90028
I would do what Buzznet says if I were you. Ryan Jenkins found out the truth, look what they did to him.
KATY PERRY – has agreed to be one of the guest judges replacing Paula Abdul during the American Idol auditions, which begin tomorrow in Denver. It’s not clear who the fourth judge will be for that. One artist who is being mentioned is busty bikini model Denise Milani, although mostly by me, just now. (source = ny daily news)
STEVEN TYLER – the Aerosmith lead singer suffered head, neck and shoulder injuries after falling off a stage in Rapid City, South Dakota. Specifically, at the Buffalo Chip Campground, where the concert was being held. In a related story, are you fucking kidding me. (fox news)
JASON STATHAM – FUN FACT: even cool guys look like spazzy dorks in diving masks. FUN FACT 2 – but don’t mention that because Jason Statham will murder you with a jetski and laugh while doing it. (hq jump here. source = splash and fame)
Katy Perry did her best to look hot this weekend in Miami on her way to the Katy Perry Pool Party (i have no idea). So she wore a nice little pink bikini. Then of course she ruined everything, as is her habit, by putting some aquamarine wrap thing over it (this), like a less-fuckable Statue of Liberty.
Not that it really mattered. Even in the bikini, she’s hot, but in a very boring and antiseptic way. She’s hot like the fighting Notre Dame guy is Irish, or Grandparents Day is a holiday. Sorta but not really.