monday afternoon headlines

By brendon February 01, 2010 @ 6:56 PM


KRISTEN BELL - is engaged, and I’ll tell you who the lucky fella is when we come back. And we’re back: Dax Shepard. (wonderwall)

SCIENTOLOGY - is profiteering in Haiti. “Yeah, no wonder Travolta was over there, haha,” Brendon said to buy time while he looked up if “profiteering” was good or bad. (gawker)

KATY PERRY - might have a “clothing optional” wedding, which is to say she might be naked. I can’t wait to find out if she does it! Oohhh, I wonder what the answer will be?! I bet it’s surprising! (people)

LADY GAGA - wore this as her third outfit at the Grammys last night. She looks like the mascot for some shitty minor league baseball team. (getty)

todays top story

By brendon February 01, 2010 @ 11:29 AM

emi post grammy party 010210

Katy Perrys outfit for the Grammys pretty much sucked (pictures here, here, here), but she made up for it with this low cut dress at the EMI after party, guaranteeing her a place on Tyler and a night full of stilted conversations while guys pretended not to stare at her tits.

Unfortunately her limey boyfriend was there too, pawin all over her with his grubby little scurvy infected hands, and I could only crop him out so many times. So for this one I took her out and put her on a date with Captain America. Suck on that, England!

katy perry knows how to dress

By brendon January 27, 2010 @ 4:28 PM


Speaking of Katy Perry, she wore this fantastically designed leotard to a dance studio yesterday in Hollywood. I don’t know which studio in particular though. Try looking through the police blotter in today’s paper. If there’s a story about dozens of guy jerking off at the window of a dance studio, that should be the one.

(source = fame pictures)

katy perry has had enough

By brendon January 27, 2010 @ 3:17 PM

Katy Perry was one of the guest judges last night on ‘American Idol’ when they stopped in LA, and you may find this hard to believe but she seemed to be annoyed by Kara DiWhateverhernameis, and even threatened to throw a drink in her face. Rawwrr! This kittens got claws!

But the real zinger came when DioGuardi began belting out Perry’s smash hit “I Kissed a Girl.” Within seconds, Perry interrupted, “Please stop before I throw my Coke in your face!”

In Katys defense, Kara is annoying. She always has to be the center of attention, the kind of person who tries to kill themselves by holding their breath or calls 911 after eating ice cream too fast.

this sexy couple is having a kid, part 2

By brendon January 12, 2010 @ 3:04 PM


Last week it was announced that Katy Perry and Russell Brand are engaged, and a few days after that it was rumored that she was pregnant. They haven’t confirmed anything but yesterday they implied the hell out of it when they visited a baby store in London. The Sun says…

The lovers were browsing bootees in a kids’ shoe shop during a romantic, wintry walk around North London.
An onlooker told me: “”They visited children’s shoe shop Cubs and had a lot of fun checking out all the little bootees.”

You can see what might be Katys engagement ring in these pictures taken yesterday. You can also see that Katys only attractive quality is her huge jugs. Woof. When those are wrapped up you realize she’s pretty average, and as a couple he drags their score down from “pretty average” to “genuinely ugly”. What fantastic news. I’d rather see fire-breathing dragons having kids than these two fug morons.

(source = splash news online and wenn)

monday morning headlines

By brendon January 11, 2010 @ 2:38 PM

Nicole Bahls Having Fun In Rio De Janeiro (USA ONLY)

AVATAR - made another $48.5 million this weekend to bring it’s worldwide total to $1.34 billion, second all time only to ‘Titanic’ which made 1.84. Both movies of course we’re directed by James Cameron and released by 20th Century Fox. They should give him something nice, like an iTunes gift card or something. (hollywood reporter)

MINKA KELLY - is reportedly engaged to Derek Jeter and will get married in November at a castle on Long Island. Ahh yes, New York near the water in winter. They’ve thought of everything! (popeater)

KATY PERRY - might be pregnant, and that might be why she’s marrying Russell Brand. They’re quite a team. Intellectually the kid will be somewhere between a rock and a lizard. (wonderwall)

NICOLE BAHLS - was in a bikini this weekend in Rio. If you don’t know who she is, maybe you should look it up. Then summarize it and send it to me. (flynet online)