this sexy couple is having a kid, part 2

By brendon January 12, 2010 @ 3:04 PM

SPL146674_016

Last week it was announced that Katy Perry and Russell Brand are engaged, and a few days after that it was rumored that she was pregnant. They haven’t confirmed anything but yesterday they implied the hell out of it when they visited a baby store in London. The Sun says…

The lovers were browsing bootees in a kids’ shoe shop during a romantic, wintry walk around North London.
An onlooker told me: “”They visited children’s shoe shop Cubs and had a lot of fun checking out all the little bootees.”

You can see what might be Katys engagement ring in these pictures taken yesterday. You can also see that Katys only attractive quality is her huge jugs. Woof. When those are wrapped up you realize she’s pretty average, and as a couple he drags their score down from “pretty average” to “genuinely ugly”. What fantastic news. I’d rather see fire-breathing dragons having kids than these two fug morons.

(source = splash news online and wenn)

monday morning headlines

By brendon January 11, 2010 @ 2:38 PM

Nicole Bahls Having Fun In Rio De Janeiro (USA ONLY)

AVATAR - made another $48.5 million this weekend to bring it’s worldwide total to $1.34 billion, second all time only to ‘Titanic’ which made 1.84. Both movies of course we’re directed by James Cameron and released by 20th Century Fox. They should give him something nice, like an iTunes gift card or something. (hollywood reporter)

MINKA KELLY - is reportedly engaged to Derek Jeter and will get married in November at a castle on Long Island. Ahh yes, New York near the water in winter. They’ve thought of everything! (popeater)

KATY PERRY - might be pregnant, and that might be why she’s marrying Russell Brand. They’re quite a team. Intellectually the kid will be somewhere between a rock and a lizard. (wonderwall)

NICOLE BAHLS - was in a bikini this weekend in Rio. If you don’t know who she is, maybe you should look it up. Then summarize it and send it to me. (flynet online)

katy and russell are engaged

By brendon January 06, 2010 @ 11:15 AM

katyengaged

Katy Perry and Russell Brand are both annoying idiots, so now that they’ve found each other they might as well get married. It’s not like anyone else would be lining up to. Us magazine says…

The wacky pair — who’ve been dating since September 2009 — became betrothed five days ago while on holiday in Jaipur, India.
The exotic trip, “was his Christmas gift.  She told him how much she loved Indian culture while they were eating curry in England, so he surprised her.”
On New Year’s Day, she shared another tourist photo: her hand being painted with a traditional Henna tattoo. (“Isn’t it lovely?” she wrote.) The day before, she perhaps hinted at spontaneous decisions to come later that week: “In India, the motto…you gotta go with the flow…”

I fucking HATE that she wrote, “In India, the motto, you gotta go with the flow”, and I’m not even positive why. Drinking chai tea instead of Starbucks and going to the Taj Mahal isn’t, “going with the flow”. You’re just on vacation you dumb bitch. She’s so annoying and full of herself, it almost makes me think she’s kidding.

are they still together?

By brendon December 30, 2009 @ 12:07 PM

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That was rhetorical by the way because, according to this picture on her twitter, yes, Katy Perry and Russell Brand are still very much together. And today they’re in India at the Taj Mahal. In the caption she says he built that for her, but she’s a god damn liar. That bitch has a lot of nerve.

katy perry is in the holiday spirit

By brendon December 11, 2009 @ 12:36 PM

christmaskitty

I never noticed it until she put up a picture of herself topless in a Santa hat, but now “I was on Katy Perrys twitter” just sounds like a euphemism for fucking her.

(source = twitter)

holy crap

By brendon December 03, 2009 @ 1:08 PM

grammy noms 3 031209

Once a month or so Katy Perry will remember that she’s a hot skinny girl with huge tits, and the Grammy Nominations Concert in LA last night was definitely one of those times. The blond Pam Anderson thing is kind of boring, but Asian girls, Jayme Langford, Katy. These bitches are awesome. It would be like fucking Wonder Woman. She made a bunch of stupid faces on stage of course, but with some practice I could probably throw some roofies in her mouth when she does that, or even better work out some blow gun type thing and shoot it right down her throat. Then an hour or so later I’ll be able to describe Phase 2 of my plan that very same way.

(source = wenn and getty)