Katy Perry hosted last nights MTV Europe Music awards, and during the show she wore this flesh colored top, which looks awesome in the thumbnails because you think she might be naked. She’s not of course and she might as well have taken my erection and slammed it in a car door because anything flesh colored scares me. Specifically tight clothes, because it looks like the skin they stretch over evil robots in movies about the future. My parents still have one of those old flesh colored phones with the chord and all that. It looks like they’re talking into a prosthetic foot.
The Michael Jackson movie ‘This is It’ is getting really good reviews (80 percent on rotten tomatoes) but the big star of the movies LA premiere yesterday was Katy Perry and her tits. The movie of course is both a biography of Jackson and footage of him preparing for his big comeback show in London. I know what you’re thinking: “wow, a biography AND rehearsal footage of singing and dancing?!?!” I know right! It’s like they made this movie just for me!
Katy Perry had her 25th birthday party this weekend, and the theme was some kind of paint thing, or more accurately, another excuse for Katy to show off her huge and perfect tits while pretending not to do so.
This chick is annoying. Her body is terrific. I want to see it, she wants to show it, so what the hell is the problem? It’s like she just needs a little push. That’s why I kidnapped her parents last night. Don’t make me kill them!
Katy Perry and Russell Brand went to a party in the Hollywood Hills yesterday, and at one point they discreetly slipped out the back for time time alone. Some time alone with the photographers. She must be an idiot because he dresses and looks like a zombie. If ‘Shaun of the Dead’ ever came on she’d probably start to masturbate.
I can’t always tell the difference between “British” and “Gay”, but despite all pants to the contrary, Russell Brand is apparently heterosexual and to prove it he’s having sex with Katy Perry. Although even gay guys probably appreciate her amazing tits, so really this proves nothing. They’ve been together all week at Paris fashion shows, and they’ve been spotted holding hands and generally making a spectacle of themselves, but that didn’t stop Katy from cheering on the Raiders and/or joining KISS.
Katy Perry helped out the band 3OH-something-something-I-have-no-idea and got all wet in a fountain for their new video. And while being in a band seems like a cool job, it’s not nearly as cool as the guy who answered the ad to fondle Katy Perrys huge breasts. I’m sure he’s gay (ungrateful bastard) but I would pretend to be gay too for a job where my responsibilities included “Feel Some Big Titties”. Unfortunately they might catch on when I stared into her eyes the whole time with an erection. Then pulled her hair and called her a whore. And then came.