eyes up here, russell

By brendon October 19, 2009 @ 12:55 PM

Russell Brand, Katy Perry

Katy Perry and Russell Brand went to a party in the Hollywood Hills yesterday, and at one point they discreetly slipped out the back for time time alone. Some time alone with the photographers. She must be an idiot because he dresses and looks like a zombie.  If ‘Shaun of the Dead’ ever came on she’d probably start to masturbate.

(6 more here. hq jump here. source = inf daily)

go raiders!

By brendon October 08, 2009 @ 6:56 PM

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I can’t always tell the difference between “British” and “Gay”, but despite all pants to the contrary, Russell Brand is apparently heterosexual and to prove it he’s having sex with Katy Perry. Although even gay guys probably appreciate her amazing tits, so really this proves nothing. They’ve been together all week at Paris fashion shows, and they’ve been spotted holding hands and generally making a spectacle of themselves, but that didn’t stop Katy from cheering on the Raiders and/or joining KISS.

(14 more here. hq jump here. source = splash news online)

this dude seems pretty cool

By brendon September 22, 2009 @ 12:47 PM

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Katy Perry helped out the band 3OH-something-something-I-have-no-idea and got all wet in a fountain for their new video. And while being in a band seems like a cool job, it’s not nearly as cool as the guy who answered the ad to fondle Katy Perrys huge breasts. I’m sure he’s gay (ungrateful bastard) but I would pretend to be gay too for a job where my responsibilities included “Feel Some Big Titties”.  Unfortunately they might catch on when I stared into her eyes the whole time with an erection. Then pulled her hair and called her a whore.  And then came.

(16 more pix here. hq jump here. source = fame)

sometimes katy is awesome

By brendon September 14, 2009 @ 3:22 PM

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More often than not, Katy Perry dresses like a special needs student and does everything she can to look unattractive. But every now and then, she’ll remember she’s a hot girl with huge breasts and dress accordingly. Last night at the MTV VMAs was one of those times. You would be really mad if you’re one of those religious people who think semen should only be used for procreation and masturbation wastes the gift of life, because I just destroyed more life in one shot than Darth Vader when he blew up that planet.

(20 more pictures here. hq jump here. source = splash and wenn)

Win more Katy Perry tickets now

By brendon August 26, 2009 @ 2:12 PM

v festival chelmsford day two 5 230809 Okay so I have 8 tickets to see Katy Perry, live at the Hollywood Palladium this Saturday night. But I’m no good at thinking up contests. Let’s just do this: I’m thinking of a number between 1 and 100. The first 4 who get it get 2 tix each. Email what it might be to the new contact address: brendon@whatwouldtyler.com

Or if you’re a hot girl just send topless pictures. Of course I won’t hold my breath because I’ve been doing this damn site for 4 years and never once has a girl sent me topless pictures. Is Tyler blocked everywhere except for Mormon math camps or something, jesus christ.

UPDATE – 2 down, 6 to go.

UPDATE – 4 down, 4 to go.  And stop guessing 69 ya fukkin perverts.

UPDATE – I swear to you, its not 69.  God you people are filthy.

UPDATE – 6 down, 2 to go.  Maybe the number has changed to 69 now.  Try guessing that a hundred more times. Maybe I thought it was something else.

UPDATE – 47.  it was 47.  another good number is 0.  that’s how many pictures came in. is it just prisoners reading this. do you people not have phones.

See Katy Perry, live, for free

By brendon August 25, 2009 @ 4:31 PM

v festival chelmsford day two 5 230809

So Buzznet, the international conglomerate of websites and defense contractors who will tell you they’re just an urban legend if you investigate them, has used their iron hand to prove they can throw together major concerts on a whim, in this case, Katy Perry at the Hollywood Palladium this Saturday night. And to prove money means nothing to them, they’re giving away free tickets. Do this to get them:

- Send the following twitter message from your twitter account:
I want to see @katyperry at the Hollywood Palladium on 8/29 presented by @soundsofbuzz and Coca-Cola
- Show up with proof (on your phone, print out, etc) to Space15Twenty on 8/25 at 2:00 pm. Get in line. The first 100 people will be given a cold coca-cola and a pair of tickets to Katy Perry.
- Space15Twenty is located on 1520 N. Cahuenga Blvd Los Angeles, CA 90028

I would do what Buzznet says if I were you.  Ryan Jenkins found out the truth, look what they did to him.

(hq jump to katy and her huge jugs here.  source = splash news online and wenn)