Katy Perry was on stage in Canada earlier this week, when, all of a sudden, hey look it's her tits.  And now finally decent pictures are available.  Although, I can't lie to you, it's still hard to see anything good.  She’s so pale and her nips are so pink, it's like a kittens paws. I'm not even positive what that means but I'm pretty sure it still makes sense.  Either way, it freaks me out.  I don’t need to be thinking about kittens paws smacking my penis.  Again.  Kitty and I promised to never speak of that night.


Katy Perry had her Halloween party last night, she’s the one in yellow dressed as Freddy Mercury, and let me be clear: if you go out this weekend and you couldn't think of anything more original than Heath Ledgers Joker or Amy Winehouse, I hate you.  I swear to God I hate you.  This dipshit doesn’t even get the Joker right.  He’s got the white all slathered on.  Ledgers was great for the exact opposite reason.  The white was all cracked and faded and messed up.  Although this guy is forgiven because if he likes Katy Perry he’s used to just rubbing it all over whenever he gets something white on his face.



Katy Perry was on the Mexican version of the MTV Music Awards last night (the what?) and she ended her set by jumping on a giant cake. I can’t even begin to explain why. It's every bit as boring as it sounds. But then the lighthearted levity continues as she smears cake on some dude. Oh, I know. So scandalous. Luckily she then promptly falls on her ass. Not once but like 4 times. And before the first one she runs in place for a little while first, like Scooby Doo would when a ghost was after him. Except this is way less fun. 

I'm still not sure I believe Katy Perry when she says she has DD’s, but whatever, because those things are still awesome, and is that a lollipop necklace between her boobs?  Because if she wants something she can suck on between her boobs, I got something right here she can suck on, if you know what I mean!  Get it?  Huh?  Do you get it?*

*my penis.

On the Stern show one day Katy Perry said she had DD breasts, which sounded suspicious because she never really looked that big (more on that here).  But today this mysterious candid of her in a see-thru nightgown showed up and it’s clear her chest really is that big.  The only question is where did the picture come from.  Could it be … Heaven?