katy perry was made for bikinis

By brendon March 31, 2010 @ 5:25 PM


Katy Perry and her dopey boyfriend are in Mexico today, and even though she’s annoying as hell, if any guy says they wouldnt bang her, they probably did so with one hand on their hip while snapping their fingers in a circle.

(image source = splash news online)

tuesday afternoon headlines

By brendon March 30, 2010 @ 7:09 PM


KATY PERRY - was at a party this weekend which for some reason had an elephant. But not just any elephant. A smooth talking producer. Now Katy is gonna be in a movie. (full size)

JESSE JAMES - will reportedly get ratted out by a 5th girl who says they had sex while he was married to Sandra Bullock. Stuff like this is why so many prostitutes get murdered, by the way. (radar)

STEVEN SPIELBERG - is a moron. According to the creator of the NBC comedy ‘Community’. I knew there was a reason ‘Community’ was my favorite new show (if you like ‘Modern Family’ better you can kiss my ass).  Actually Vince wrote that last sentence but I would have if he hadn’t because he’s right. So is the guy about the current version of Spielberg. Everyone hated ‘Crystal Skull’ but ‘War of the Worlds’ was right before that and it sucked even more. “Oh no, 10 story tripods from outer space are zapping everyone with lasers. They’re killing everyone! Later we’ll find out they need our blood for fertilizer so it won’t make any fucking sense that they’re turning us into ashes, but until then we should definitely drive 250 miles to Boston. Highways provide a natural barrier from aliens. (5 minutes later) Oh shit no they don’t. Lets run out in the open in that big field with no trees or anything to hide behind. We have to keep going, we must get to Boston.”
“Does Boston have some alien death ray I haven’t heard about?”
“Shut the fuck up.”

katy perry seems fun

By brendon March 29, 2010 @ 3:00 PM


Katy Perry wore a sexy blue wig and super tight dress to the Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards this weekend, and if she enjoys unwrapping a package and having things at chest level discharge all over her face, I may have discovered my soul mate.

tuesday afternoon headlines

By brendon March 09, 2010 @ 6:49 PM


MICHAEL JACKSON - had at least 2 girlfriends whose identity have remained a secret, according to his bodyguards. Well that’s all the proof I need. I’m sure it wasn’t a boy in a wig and a dress. Why can’t the girls go public? Who knows. Maybe they’re mermaids. (wonderwall)

GABOUREY SIDIBE - has joined the cast of a new Showtime series called, “The Big C”. The goal of the show is to see how many “the fat vagina” jokes the internet can make. (imdb)

JIMMY KIMMEL - might replace Barbara Walters as host of the interview special before the Oscars every year. It’s part of ABCs new plan to make shows people watch and enjoy. (pop eater)

JESSICA SIMPSON - is glad she doesn’t look like Daisy Duke anymore. “So am I”, agreed No One On Earth. (us.com)

KATY PERRY - should have been posted yesterday but can’t be forgotten because her Oscar dress was terrific. Her hair was down and the dress actually flattered her body instead of hiding it under 1800 yards of fabric. It went against the normal award show trend of trying to look as terrible as possible. (getty and splash)

monday afternoon headlines

By brendon February 01, 2010 @ 6:56 PM


KRISTEN BELL - is engaged, and I’ll tell you who the lucky fella is when we come back. And we’re back: Dax Shepard. (wonderwall)

SCIENTOLOGY - is profiteering in Haiti. “Yeah, no wonder Travolta was over there, haha,” Brendon said to buy time while he looked up if “profiteering” was good or bad. (gawker)

KATY PERRY - might have a “clothing optional” wedding, which is to say she might be naked. I can’t wait to find out if she does it! Oohhh, I wonder what the answer will be?! I bet it’s surprising! (people)

LADY GAGA - wore this as her third outfit at the Grammys last night. She looks like the mascot for some shitty minor league baseball team. (getty)

todays top story

By brendon February 01, 2010 @ 11:29 AM

emi post grammy party 010210

Katy Perrys outfit for the Grammys pretty much sucked (pictures here, here, here), but she made up for it with this low cut dress at the EMI after party, guaranteeing her a place on Tyler and a night full of stilted conversations while guys pretended not to stare at her tits.

Unfortunately her limey boyfriend was there too, pawin all over her with his grubby little scurvy infected hands, and I could only crop him out so many times. So for this one I took her out and put her on a date with Captain America. Suck on that, England!