By Lex October 21, 2013 @ 6:29 PM
Katy Perry couldn’t figure out a better way to stick it to her Evangelical huckster parents than getting shit-faced in London, showing off her boobs, and telling the world she’s getting ready to marry a Jew. Her folks are going to demand at least $10K in indulgences before they agree to forgive her for that shit.
“He literally is a genius, as is evident from his songwriting. I always tell him, ‘Darling, you know I’m going to have to give your mind to science after you’ve passed, because we’re going to have to understand how all these sparks work.” — Katy Perry commenting on her future husband
That is some praise for a dude who wrote like four decent emo pop songs for teen girls. Maybe she’s referring to the fact that he’s banged Jennifer Ansiton, Jessica Simpson, and Minka Kelly. That there is some actual genius. Katy Perry can’t possibly be as fun. But, she’s super famous and needy and has big boobs, which means soon she’ll be crushing the wine glass as her parents weep softly in their condolence cash.
Photo Credit: AKM-GSI, FameFlynet, WENN
By Travis October 01, 2013 @ 9:00 AM
Every time that Katy Perry talks about how much she thinks John Mayer is a genius or just speaks in general, I ask myself how we could have let this woman become a star. But then I remember tits, tits, boobs, giant titty jugs, breasts, tits and it all completely makes sense. She’s also wonderful at making faces while she’s performing that make it look like she’s sucking someone off, like she did last night at the iTunes Festival in London, and if you’re the kind of guy who lets his girlfriend or wife drag him to one of Katy’s shows, at least you have that to look forward to.
(Photo Credits: WENN.com)
By Lex September 06, 2013 @ 12:54 PM
I’ve decided to go without ever listening to another Katy Perry song. It’s like giving up the evening news, I just think it’ll make me feel less hopeless and depressed. In her new music video Roar, Katy dresses like Tarzan if Tarzan sold records by showing off his tits. Someday, I hope we can evolve to a place where female musicians aren’t obliged to expose their bodies just to promote their art. Just not in my lifetime, please.
By Travis August 26, 2013 @ 10:00 AM
I don’t know which is worse: A) That Katy Perry showed up to the MTV Video Music Awards last night with her breasts completely covered up by the rug from a late-70s porn set, B) That Katy Perry rocked the stupid rich white lady wearing a grill schtick less than a week after Madonna’s old, veiny ass did it, or C) That Katy Perry stood on the red carpet and made the same stupid face with her dumb $1,000 grill as Riff Raff did on the very same night.
And it’s a trick multiple choice question, because the answer is: D) That Katy Perry has sex with John Mayer after he wrote a song whining about Taylor Swift.
(Photo Credits: Andres Otero/WENN.com)
By Travis July 11, 2013 @ 9:00 AM
John Mayer and Katy Perry are reportedly dating again, and that’s cool for both of them, because she likes being with guys who seem like massive tools and he’s a grown man still singing songs about Taylor Swift. Really, it’s a match made in heaven. But the couple was out shopping in New York last week, when they did something that was actually pretty cool.
Katy and John stopped into a guitar shop in SoHo and were immediately recognized my some young female fans, and after one of the girls told John that she wanted a particular guitar but couldn’t afford it, he bought it for her. And soon after, according to her Twitter account, she broke the caps lock key on her keyboard.