Katy Perry is having sex with John Mayer

By brendon August 08, 2012 @ 7:13 AM

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Though they haven’t gone out together again in public since last week, E! says that Katy Perry and John Mayer have been spending lots of time at his house in the Hollywood Hills. But wait, does that include overnight stays?

And yes, that includes overnight stays.
“She has been having sleepovers there,” says a source. “It is very private and they’ve been sneaking in and out. It has been going on for a while.”

Wait what? Why? Does he live with his parents? Or is dating John Mayer just that embarrassing? If I were her I’d wear a mask and gloves and paint his windows black too.

you better hang your head in shame Katy Perry

By brendon August 02, 2012 @ 11:23 AM

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Last week it was mentioned on here that Katy Perry was maybe dating John Mayer now, and this week it’s being mentioned again because they were at Chateau Marmont together last night. Meaning it might actually be true.

And she certainly looks proud to be seen with him. Between the divorce and now this, she’s plunging into a shame spiral; Tommy Lee can’t be far behind. Which is awesome. Girls like this are great. It’s a good way to get girls who would normally be out of your league. You just have to be patient, like a sniper who see’s a bush rustle or a lion watching a limping gazelle.

(image source = splash)

oh hi Katy Perry

By brendon July 31, 2012 @ 2:16 PM

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Katy Perry was in Rio last night, standing a little too close to a glass balcony while the crowd (presumably) yelled SHOW YOUR TITS in Portuguese. Unfortunately Katy is either stuck up or doesn’t speak Portuguese, and all we have are these upskirt pictures. As you can see, it turns out she shaves down there, but needs to go a tanning bed naked. It’s really pale. Or are those her panties? Ok never mind.

(image source = pacific coast)

Katy Perry and Robert Pattinson are just friends

By brendon July 30, 2012 @ 2:44 PM

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Katy Perry and Robert Pattinson have apparently been friends for a long time (about a month ago they hung out after the premiere of her movie), so maybe that’s why there are so many reports today claiming she wants to be his new girlfriend. Or maybe people just like to make things up to be mean, like when my parents told me and the babysitter they were going to a movie when actually they were moving to a new town.

Perry is NOT “considering a romantic relationship with Rob,” a source close to Perry tells GossipCop — before calling HollywoodLife a series of unprintable words.

Actually it would have been fine to print those words. There’s no need to dumb it down, I’m a licensed psychologist and we’re all adults here, we can take it.

(image source of katy in another bikini in miami = wenn, inf)

is Katy Perry dating John Mayer?

By brendon July 27, 2012 @ 6:24 PM

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Us magazine asks the question, “What would Jennifer Aniston and Jessica Simpson say?” Which is probably rhetorical but one would say “Brraaadd…” through tears and the other would say, “Rut are you tawkin about” because her mouth was full of food.

Then after that there’s some stuff about Katy Perry and John Mayer hanging out.

Katy Perry spent the evening of Friday June 19 with none other than John Mayer at Soho House in West Hollywood. “They were affectionate, holding hands and cuddling!” the observer says.
The next night, (she) invited him to her place where they noshed on pizza.

Have these two not already dated? It seems like they should have. But holy shit, really? Russell Brand then John Mayer? This is how girls end up going gay.

(image source = wenn, bauer griffin)

Katy Perry still looks terrific in a bikini

By brendon July 26, 2012 @ 5:44 PM

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Katy Perry spent this afternoon by her hotel pool in Miami, wearing a little black bikini and making flat-chested girls feel bad about themselves. If not for her annoying personality she’d be perfect. It’s like a fable where the Devil grants a wish but always adds some cruel and ironic twist. Like I told him I wanted to be the richest man in town, and he gave me lots of friends who cared about me. Fucking prick, YOU KNEW WHAT I MEANT!

(image source = fame/flynet, splash)