Friday Afternoon Headlines

By brendon January 18, 2013 @ 8:24 PM

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ALICIA KEYS – will sing the National Anthem at Super Bowl XLVII in New Orleans on February 3rd. Or 4th, or 5th, or whenever it is that Saints fans run out of beer bottles to throw at Roger Goodell and they can start the game. (e!)

AMERICAN IDOL – returned Wednesday and had it’s lowest ratings ever for a season premiere, down 19 percent from last year, which itself was down 24 percent from the year before. Fox has had no comment so far, but one theory is that the show is pointless and terrible. (cnn)

MICHAEL J. FOX – would not be happy if his son ever ended up dating Taylor Swift because she “writes songs about everybody she goes out with.” She also has a pointy nose like a little rat if that helps his cause any. (vulture)

KATY PERRY – will join Kelly Clarkson, Beyonce, Alicia Keys, Usher, Brad Paisley, Chris Cornell, Will.i.am, John Legend, Ke$ha, and dozens more to perform at multiple parties for President Obama’s inauguration on Monday, an event which will cost taxpayers around $115 million for a fake ceremony because he’ll actually be sworn in, privately, the day before. It’s part of a traditional bi-partisan policy called, “We’re Broke Because We Spend Your Tax Money On Ourselves And Other Stupid Shit So Then We Take More Because You Can Go Fuck Yourself”. (huff post)

ZOMBIELAND – might finally become a TV show, which was actually the idea from the very beginning before it became a movie. The show will still revolve around the 4 main characters from the movie, and whether or not they can escape from a brain dead slug that takes 30 minutes to cross the street. (io9)

Katy Perry is grabby

By brendon October 17, 2012 @ 12:17 PM

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Most girls would just take a guys hand to steady themselves, but Katy Perry went right for John Mayers dick last night as she very cautiously stepped off a curb, as if she thought the street might be made of lava.

So maybe she’s a perv, or maybe Mayer just looked very handsome in his little outfit. With that greaser hair they should go to a carnival and sing “You’re The One That I Want” to each other.

(image source = splash)

Katy Perry is still with John Mayer, embarrassed about it

By brendon October 16, 2012 @ 5:32 PM

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Katy Perry and John Mayer were in New York today (his 35th birthday) and, as always, she hid her face and hung her head in shame. He has got to be getting tired of this. If I were dating someone like her, that is to say a skinny millionaire with DD’s, I’d be like, “now you listen here woman, you’ve got just 6 months to knock that off.”

(image source = inf)

so apparently these two aren’t broken up after all

By brendon October 15, 2012 @ 1:58 PM

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A little of Katy Perry goes a long way, so maybe that’s why no one can figure out if she and John Mayer are dating. They’ll go out a few times, then reportedly end it, then start right back up. This has been going on since July. They’re supposed to be broken up again now, and yet here they are in New York last night having dinner.

It’s almost like Mayer is just breaking up with her to avoid the week she’s on her period. If so that would make him a real jerk for thinking of that before I did.

(image source = inf)

Katy Perry and John Mayer broke up

By brendon August 24, 2012 @ 2:09 PM

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The great love of our time, the romance between Katy Perry and John Mayer, has come to an end according to People. As in the magazine, not just a crowd.

The pair seemed like a good match, according to a source who saw them together this month.
“They almost acted like they’ve been a couple for a long time. It definitely didn’t seem like a new relationship.”

“Yeah it was great, they had sex once a month and she’d yell at ‘for flirting with that girl at the restaurant’ who was actually the waitress and he was ordering. It was such a good sign for the future, amazing that it fell apart.”

(image source = fame/flynet)

Katy Perry lost her bikini, everyone saw her naked ass

By brendon August 13, 2012 @ 11:08 AM

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The crowd who gathered to watch Katy Perry on a slide at Raging Waters in San Dimas (where the high school football rules) was rewarded for their lack of anything better to do when the water whipped her bikini bottom down. The lifeguard quickly remembered that he was gay and tried to block her but it was too late, and everyone had already seen her big square ass. STOP PLAYING GOD, BUDDY!

(image source = bauer griffin)