KATY PERRY – will tie Michael Jacksons record if her 5th single off ‘Teenage Dream’ goes to number 1 like the other 4 have. And also if she gets two dozen little boys drunk and blows them. (mtv)
CARS 2 – is the worst reviewed Pixar movie ever, and not coincidentally they’ve now unveiled the characters for ‘Brave’, their first movie with a female protagonist. So I guess it’s about girl problems, like when there are no tampons in the ladies room. (joblo)
THE SUPERMAN REBOOT – will have Julia Ormond joining Russell Crowe as Supermans parents on Krypton before it explodes. Because this will tell the Superman origin story. Yet again. Otherwise no one would know what was going on. “There’s a new director now, so naturally I assumed the character would be completely different,” audiences will no doubt say to one another. “By showing me what I already know and saw in two other movies, I’m now reassured that Superman is still exactly the same as always. And it was great. I enjoy watching the same story over and over and over again. I’m like a fucking toddler.” (deadline)
MEN IN BLACK 3 – will cost $215 million, mostly because Will Smith is a pain in the ass. (the wrap)
JERSEY SHORE – will have an all new cast next year. Either that or they won’t, because MTV is denying these reports. As if they could ever find 8 more drunk Italians in New Jersey. (hollywood reporter)
PETER FALK – died “peacefully at his Beverly Hills home” last night at the age of 83, according to his family. But maybe their story comes unraveled if the detective says there’s “Just one more thing…” right before leaving. It can’t hurt to try. (ew)
PAZ DE LA HUERTA – walked around NYC on the phone. Presumably with someone asking what her tits felt like. (inf)
Katy Perry boarded a private jet to Australia today, and as you can see she was carrying a blanket and wearing pajamas. Is this bullshit supposed to be cute? And more importantly is that what she wears to bed with Russell Brand? If so I assume that means he’s turned on by retards or little kids, and good luck figuring out which one is worse.
(image source = splash news and bauer griffin)
By brendon March 08, 2011 @ 6:19 PM
Katy Perry is in Paris for their Fashion Week, and earlier today at the Jean-Charles Castelbajac show she wore this sexy ass blue wig. I wish more girls would do cool punk stuff like this with their hair. It’s like banging a girl in a sci-fi movie. It’s the blowjob of the future, today!
(image source = splash news and pacific coast and bauer griffin)
By brendon February 14, 2011 @ 11:23 AM
Katy Perry wore angel wings and made out with Russell Brand (perhaps to quiet the reports that they’re already in marriage counseling) on the Grammy red carpet last night, but the person I’d really like to see with angel wings is Cameron Diaz. And by that I mean I wish she were dead.
After that Katy brought out her grandmother, though not strapped to her back while teaching her about the Force like you might think. The bad news is her grandmother looks like she could die at any minute. The good news is that they can just flush her down the toilet when it happens.
(image source = getty and wenn)
By brendon February 07, 2011 @ 1:06 PM
Mexico is mostly famous for its lawless government and a bountiful supply of date rape drugs, it’s a forced-penetration powder-keg just waiting to explode, so it wasn’t the best idea in the world for Katy Perry to wear this awesomely slutty outfit while promoting her perfume “Purr” in Mexico City this weekend. Actually it wasn’t a good idea to go there in any outfit. Mexico sucks.
(image source = splash news online)
By brendon December 31, 2010 @ 9:32 AM
Russel Brand tweeted this picture yesterday of Katy Perry with no makeup, right after she woke up, and even though he quickly took it down, that’s not how the Internet works, so now it’s here forever. To be honest, if I married a girl who, without photoshop, looks like Keith Olberman, I probably would have kept that little secret to myself.