John Mayer Might Not Be The World’s Biggest Douchebag After All

By Travis July 11, 2013 @ 9:00 AM

John Mayer and Katy Perry are reportedly dating again, and that’s cool for both of them, because she likes being with guys who seem like massive tools and he’s a grown man still singing songs about Taylor Swift. Really, it’s a match made in heaven. But the couple was out shopping in New York last week, when they did something that was actually pretty cool.

Katy and John stopped into a guitar shop in SoHo and were immediately recognized my some young female fans, and after one of the girls told John that she wanted a particular guitar but couldn’t afford it, he bought it for her. And soon after, according to her Twitter account, she broke the caps lock key on her keyboard.

Russell Brand Is Still Talking About Katy Perry

By Travis June 06, 2013 @ 11:00 AM

Katy Perry and Russell Brand knew each other for a little more than a year before they got married in 2010, and they’d been married a little more than one year before they filed for divorce in 2011. So it’s safe to say that neither of them is in much of a position to offer anyone marriage advice, unless that advice is: “Look at everything we did and do the complete opposite.”

Esquire magazine recently interviewed Russell and, of course, the topic of his marriage to Katy (seen above wearing a dress that she should never wear again) came up and he explained why it failed.

‘But it’s going to be hard if I go into a monogamous relationship. I live a life where I have a lot of freedom, so if I meet someone and I go, “Right let’s be monogamous,” that’s a f**king change.’

‘But I tried it and I loved it. I really think she’s a lovely beautiful person [Katy Perry]. It’s just hard isn’t it? She’s got a lot of options, I’ve got a lot of options, so you’ve got to really, really want it.’ (Daily Mail)

Translated: I realized that there are millions of women out there who will fuck any man who is remotely famous. Can’t blame a guy for that.

(Photo Credit: Cousart-Rayne/JFXimages/

Daddy Says I’m Going to Hell

By Lex May 13, 2013 @ 2:06 AM

It’s not easy being Katy Perry. I mean, yeah, it’s probably easy being rich and famous and good looking. But having grifters-for-Jesus parents who caravan the states preaching for spare cash and using you as their evidence of Satan on earth, well that part probably sucks. The good news is that Katy responded like all girls do to overbearing religious parents — she showed off her tits on Twitter (see above). Then she got tarted up to bump and grind with the Rolling Stones in Vegas. See how different Katy looks from 2002 as a asexual butch disciple of J.C. on The Trinity Channel. Maybe her parents are onto something?

Katy Perry’s Boobs Ought to Be Enough

By Lex May 02, 2013 @ 11:53 AM

Katy Perry Cleavage As She's Leaving A Broadway Show In New York
Every time I see a girl that John Mayer nailed, all I can think of is John Mayer in a sombrero and a smug smile banging them silly. I don’t really think this way about anybody else. Maybe it’s because John Mayer is such a self-satisfied lucky bastard, or maybe because the girls he brings into his circle of passion are just so good looking, but it drives me nuts. For instance, right now, I can barely appreciate Katy Perry’s career making tits. I should be just staring at them wondering how many times Katy rubs the soap over them in the shower well after they’re obviously clean. I should be thinking about her trying on bras at a naughty boutique to see which silky undergarment teases her nipples ever so perfectly. But, no, all I can think about is a dude spoon feeding himself organic quinoa while Katy Perry lies beneath him with her eyes closed praying to her Lord to keep her world safe from the Jews. John Mayer ruins everything.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet, PCN, WENN

Katy Perry Smiles Because She’s Rich and Has Big Boobs

By Lex April 01, 2013 @ 3:44 PM

Katy Perry Black Spandex LB
I guess Katy Perry’s an okay person, if she’s not your henpecking girlfriend with a weird upbringing that taught her not to have sex but to highlight her titties to become famous. I wouldn’t go in there if I was predisposed to falling off the drug wagon or had rage issues or liked sex without having to talk about how you can’t trust the Jews to make her climax. But, Katy Perry would be a monumental notch on the bedpost. That must be why so many guys keep going for it. And she looks good, in her Spandex, doing that walking thing because her boobs are too big and bouncy to run near paparazzi.

Photo Credit: FlameFlynet

Kids Are Incredibly Stupid

By Travis March 25, 2013 @ 9:00 AM

To be fair to children in general, a better headline might be “Award Shows Are Incredibly Stupid”, but since the Kids Choice Awards took place in Los Angeles on Saturday, we’ll stick to making fun of the little morons for now. Hosted by actor Josh Duhamel, who got the job after finishing third in a Timothy Olyphant lookalike contest, this year’s Kids Choice Awards honored a number of people who were willing to show up, including Katy Perry’s breasts and One Direction.

But the big winner of the night was Kristen Stewart, who was named Favorite Movie Actress for her breathtaking performance as a girl who looks confused in Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part Thank God It’s Over.

Sandra Bullock and Neil Patrick Harris were likewise drenched in the green goo while presenting the award for favorite movie actress. Winner Kristen Stewart, recognized for her role in “The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn — Part 2,” joined in by hugging Bullock, getting messy in the process. Stewart also won the prize for favorite female buttkicker for her role in “Snow White and the Huntsman.”

Other film winners included Johnny Depp, who attended but was not slimed, as favorite movie actor for “Dark Shadows.” Favorite movie went to “The Hunger Games,” with “Wreck-It Ralph” winning favorite animated movie. Favorite voice from an animated movie went to Adam Sandler for “Hotel Transylvania,” and Dwayne Johnson won favorite male buttkicker for “Journey 2: The Mysterious Island.” (L.A. Times)

Of course Johnny Depp didn’t get slimed. God forbid someone get some sticky goo on his bitchin’ leather bracelets. But it’s great that Depp’s performance in the PG-13 Dark Shadows was honored by children in 22 countries, as there wasn’t a middle school cafeteria that wasn’t buzzing over that movie last year. “Hey, did you see Dark Shadows,” the cool kids would ask, adding, “My bad, I forgot you were giving birth.”

(Photo Credits: Getty)