oh hi Katy Perry

By brendon July 31, 2012 @ 2:16 PM

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Katy Perry was in Rio last night, standing a little too close to a glass balcony while the crowd (presumably) yelled SHOW YOUR TITS in Portuguese. Unfortunately Katy is either stuck up or doesn’t speak Portuguese, and all we have are these upskirt pictures. As you can see, it turns out she shaves down there, but needs to go a tanning bed naked. It’s really pale. Or are those her panties? Ok never mind.

(image source = pacific coast)

Katy Perry and Robert Pattinson are just friends

By brendon July 30, 2012 @ 2:44 PM

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Katy Perry and Robert Pattinson have apparently been friends for a long time (about a month ago they hung out after the premiere of her movie), so maybe that’s why there are so many reports today claiming she wants to be his new girlfriend. Or maybe people just like to make things up to be mean, like when my parents told me and the babysitter they were going to a movie when actually they were moving to a new town.

Perry is NOT “considering a romantic relationship with Rob,” a source close to Perry tells GossipCop — before calling HollywoodLife a series of unprintable words.

Actually it would have been fine to print those words. There’s no need to dumb it down, I’m a licensed psychologist and we’re all adults here, we can take it.

(image source of katy in another bikini in miami = wenn, inf)

is Katy Perry dating John Mayer?

By brendon July 27, 2012 @ 6:24 PM

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Us magazine asks the question, “What would Jennifer Aniston and Jessica Simpson say?” Which is probably rhetorical but one would say “Brraaadd…” through tears and the other would say, “Rut are you tawkin about” because her mouth was full of food.

Then after that there’s some stuff about Katy Perry and John Mayer hanging out.

Katy Perry spent the evening of Friday June 19 with none other than John Mayer at Soho House in West Hollywood. “They were affectionate, holding hands and cuddling!” the observer says.
The next night, (she) invited him to her place where they noshed on pizza.

Have these two not already dated? It seems like they should have. But holy shit, really? Russell Brand then John Mayer? This is how girls end up going gay.

(image source = wenn, bauer griffin)

Katy Perry still looks terrific in a bikini

By brendon July 26, 2012 @ 5:44 PM

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Katy Perry spent this afternoon by her hotel pool in Miami, wearing a little black bikini and making flat-chested girls feel bad about themselves. If not for her annoying personality she’d be perfect. It’s like a fable where the Devil grants a wish but always adds some cruel and ironic twist. Like I told him I wanted to be the richest man in town, and he gave me lots of friends who cared about me. Fucking prick, YOU KNEW WHAT I MEANT!

(image source = fame/flynet, splash)

Katy Perry knows her strenghts

By brendon June 27, 2012 @ 1:04 PM

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Katy Perry, Selena Gomez, Robert Pattinson, and Justin Bieber (image not available) were all at Chateau Marmont last night after the premiere of Katy Perrys movie, ‘All Of Me’ or ‘Part Of Me’ or ‘All Of You’ or something like that. The point is tits. Katy forgets that sometimes but not last night. Somebody should write it on a sign that hangs next to her mirror and in her closet.

Katy Perry is spooky, fashionable

By brendon June 11, 2012 @ 2:55 PM

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Like an upscale ghost, Katy Perry hid under a giant Chanel beach towel after arriving at LAX last night. Hopefully that lady in front of her has never done anything to Coco Chanels grave or else she’s gonna have a fucking heart attack when she turns around.

(image source = wenn)