Katy Perry Has a New Boyfriend

By author April 23, 2012 @ 4:03 PM

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While Brendon has retreated back to whatever dark place only the power of an Angelina Jolie-related story can draw him from, I have returned to you as mystery writer to make sure that you don’t remain ignorant to the fact that Katy Perry‘s vagina is once again being penetrated. TMZ reports:

The two were also spotted together at the music festival last weekend … and according to some reports, Katy was already referring to him as her “boyfriend.”

That music festival happens to be Coachella, where talented musicians — who most likely have wives and/or girlfriends at home — like Robert Ackroyd, guitarist for Florence + The Machine, get to have casual sex with less talented “musicians” like Katy Perry. It’s like Woodstock, only this time penicillin is no match for what they’ll be transmitting to their significant others.

(Image Source = Pacific Coast News)

Katy Perry wants Russell Brand back

By brendon April 18, 2012 @ 3:01 PM

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Katy Perry married Russell Brand in India of October of 2010, then filed for divorce in America fourteen months later. But then she went back to India earlier this month, and according to Us magazine and some snitch who can’t keep a secret, that made her all sentimental and plagued with regret.

“Katy’s been trying to get him back! She’s a lost soul right now. She’d already been missing Russell. Being back there stirred up even more old feelings.”

Well of course it did. India is dirty and smells bad, just like Russell Brand. It would have been the same if she’d gone to New Orleans, she’d have been wet the entire time.

(image source of katy on saturday at day 2 of coachella = wenn, splash)

Katy Perry is your new Adidas spokesperson

By brendon March 30, 2012 @ 6:06 PM

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Here are some new promo pictures of Katy Perry modeling for Adidas and their Seduction running shoe. What a sexy name! I’ve never wanted to fuck a shoe so badly in my life. Well maybe once. Ok twice. Less than 10 times.

(image source = splash)

Katy Perry understands what makes a good skirt

By brendon March 01, 2012 @ 5:30 PM

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The paparazzi caught Katy Perry leaving her hotel in Paris today, and she ruined a perfectly good outfit by wearing that top over her see thru dress. What is she, a banker? Stop being so stuck up and let me see your tits, Katy. You’re gonna make the French think we’re uptight and uncool.

(image source = inf and fame/flynet)

eyes up here, Katy Perry

By brendon February 13, 2012 @ 1:36 PM

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Katy Perry wasn’t very subtle when staring at Rihannas chest last night at the Grammy Awards, but luckily Rihanna is slutty so she didn’t mind. Then after this, did Rihanna lick Katys ear, and whisper to let go, to succumb to desire and taste the pleasures of the flesh? Probably, yes.

(image source = getty)

Katy Perry is back

By brendon January 30, 2012 @ 1:03 PM

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Katy Perry made her first public appearance since her divorce Friday night at the Mirage in Las Vegas for a charity event called GiveLove. I don’t know who that guy is that she’s with though. I looked but it didn’t say. His parents should be ashamed of themselves for raising such a failure for a son.

(image source = getty)