Thurdsay morning headlines

By brendon January 13, 2011 @ 11:14 AM

EXCLUSIVE: Amy Winehouse Relaxing By The Pool In Rio

LADY GAGA – will make 100 million dollars in 2011, adding to the 60 million she made in 2010. And she would have made even more except that her music is horrible. (popeater)

KEIRA KNIGHTLEY – has broken up with Rupert Friend, her boyfriend for the past 5 years, but the really awesome part is the Suns headline, “Keiras Not Getting it Knightley”. Also note that the source of the story is her dad. So they talk about Keira getting cum on at least once every 24 hours, in huge font, then quote her dad who seems sad because his little girl won’t have some guys dick punching the back of her throat tonight. I dare you to find something better than London newspapers. (the sun)

BATMAN 3 – will likely have Keira Knightley, Anne Hathaway or Jessica Biel as the female lead. It’s good to finally see white girls catch a break in Hollywood. (nydn)

AMY WINEHOUSE – is in Rio this week, and the Daily Mail says she has some strange bruises on her thigh. Strange in the sense that she’s obviously a god damn zombie and they’re not supposed to have blood flow. (daily mail)

Keira Knightley chopped off her hair

By brendon October 05, 2010 @ 12:26 AM

pfw chanel arrivals 2 051010

Keira Knightley was in Paris yesterday for the Chanel show during Fashion Week, and apparently she cut all her hair off like a month ago, but this is the first anyone noticed. How flattering.

“I had my hair bobbed about a month ago, then I had it freshly trimmed again this morning,” she told UK InStyle.
The new ‘do wasn’t for a movie role. “I did it for myself,” she insisted.

You have to be skinny as a rail to look good with a short hair cut, and Keira is so this kind of works. She should probably be wearing some tighter clothes though. That’s what I would do. I prefer super tight clothes when I go out. And what do the ladies think? Well they like it just fine too.

Pirates of the Caribbean 4 won’t be like this. sadly.

By brendon March 23, 2010 @ 9:21 AM

pirate_tits

‘Pirates of the Caribbean 4′ won’t have Gore Verbinski, who directed the first 3, and it won’t have Keira Knightley or Orlando Bloom, and all that can be overcome. But now they’ve gone too far. Popeater says…

Disney is bucking the trend of hiring augmented actresses, requesting that only women with natural breasts apply for a role in the latest installment of their ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ franchise.

“What a bunch of fags”, I thought to myself until I read the next sentence.

“Disney has specifically requested that no actresses with breast implants apply” for a role, and that the company will even ask actresses to jog in front of casting directors to prove that their breasts are real.

Holy Jesus Christ. I don’t mean to brag but I know a scheme to stare at girls tits when I see one. And, “we have to be sure so take your top off and jump rope for a few minutes” is one of them. It’s not like you can really tell when a girl is dressed, so either the casting director is a horny 13-year-old, or this movie is gonna be amazing. ‘Pirates of the Carribean: The Titties of Jumping Jack Island”.

(gif = jesse jane in “pirates 2: stagnettis revenge’)

BEING AN ACTRESS IS HARD

By brendon September 05, 2007 @ 6:07 PM

Keira Knightley spent last week with friends on the beach in Ibiza, occasionally in a bikini and sometimes feeling her friends ass.  She pretty much just laid around and gazed at million dollar yachts and had refreshing drinks brought to her in an unthinkably beautiful paradise.  In a related story, Britney wondered if she could raft around on a river of chocolate, or would it be strictly for drinking.



KEIRA KNIGHTLEY IS COOL

By brendon August 30, 2007 @ 11:48 AM

Keira Knightley is calling out all the drunken whores in Hollywood who spend more time in rehab than on a movie set, more time posing for paparazzi than in acting class.  Keira says:

"With acting the mystique is what's amazing. I love that it's magic, that's the whole point. The whole celebrity thing is not magic.  They're real people proving they're shittier than everybody else because they don't even wear knickers. I'm not going to get blind drunk and then stumble out and fall over and puke up in front of people. I'm not saying I don't do that on my own in private, but I try not to."

If anyone wasn't just massively turned on by Keira Knightley saying she gets blind drunk and falls over and having her curse and call out people like Lindsay, feel free to write me an email and explain your side. No need to put little hearts and bluebirds at the top, cause the idea that you would like them there is very much assumed. The same applies to attached pictures of you in a pretty blue dress, you stud you.

“POTC: AT WORLDS END” TRAILER

By brendon March 20, 2007 @ 1:51 AM

Good news if you like footage of ghost pirates set to stirring music, because the first trailer for "Pirates of the Caribbean: At Worlds End" went online late last night. Um, and here it is. It's pretty scary, but it's got all the elements that made the first two movies so much fun, including monkeys in little outfits, stereotypes about black people and Johnny Depp saying something cool and then swinging across a ship. Although, to be honest, I think that last one might be some kind of special effect. I tried it and its practically impossible. To be fair, all I had was a rope in a tree, and I'm not that crazy about heights so I just kinda held the rope above my head and ran along the ground. Unfortunately my depth perception was all fucked up because of the patch over my eye and I ran into the tree, which appeared to be much further away than it really was. Overall I guess you'd have to say that the effect wasn't very similar to what they show here. That kind of bullshit really takes me out of the story.