Mike Meldman’s annual Halloween party in Beverly Hills was a regular Who’s Who of Who Invited These People?, as “stars” from David Spade and Cisco Adler to Chelsea Handler and Tim Allen showed up to stuff their pockets and purses with as much free food as possible. But the entire party wasn’t a complete cynical shit show, as Kelly Brook was there, dressed as some sort of a steampunk character. The costume choice was perfect, because not only did it require her squeezing her giant breasts together into a corset, but she also let her ass hang out of the back of the skirt, and that’s a really underrated Halloween costume look. If more girls would only look to Kelly as inspiration, Halloween would be a much better made up holiday.
(Unless she went home with David Spade, in which case all bets are off.)
Photo Credits: WENN.com
Who is buying all these wall calendars. I just don’t know. I remember my doctor had one when I was a kid. It had pictures of puppies in it and he’d tell me to look at the cute doggies then he’d jab me with a needle when my attention was turned. I learned not to trust doctors. Or puppies. Or fucking wall calendars. They were all in on it. Maybe if I could’ve looked at a woman with big boobs instead of a basket full of Dachshunds I might be less ambivalent about Obamacare.
Photo Credit: Kelly Brook
I think I must be getting old, because I’m starting to appreciate women in lingerie teasing the camera. There goes the promise I made to myself never think of a woman in any clothing, short of the high school cheerleader I was certain would let me take her in her uniform one day. I’m not sure she ever even knew my name though I’m quite certain she could tell by my smiles in the hallway that I was committing a sin of commission to thoughts of her. Fuck it, I’ve overshared. Here’s Kelly Brook teasing her 2014 calendar by writhing around in see-through lingerie. So if you’ve got the time or inclination, you can see her nips.
Kelly Brook attended the opening of the Pandora Oxford Street store in London last night, and just look at how happy and brave she is despite the fact that she recently found out that her boyfriend, Danny Cipriani, had been sexting other girls behind her back. Because that’s what happens when attractive models with huge breasts are cheated on and keep making appearances in public – we call them brave.
Meanwhile, guys who cheat on attractive models with huge breasts? We call them fucking morons. Of course, unless the girl he was cheating with was an even more attractive model, in which case we call him brave. I’m pretty sure that’s how this whole thing works.
(Photo Credits: WENN.com)