I always assumed that if Brooke Hogan and Kelly Clarkson’s worlds ever collided, it would be at some kind of pie eating contest, but instead Brooke decided it would be a good idea to cover a Clarkson song I’ve never heard of. She was mistaken. It was a horrible idea, because that bitch can't sing. In all honesty this might be the worst thing I’ve ever heard. I’d rather bring home a new girl and hear her say, "okay now you suck mine", than to ever hear another note from this song again.
Going to a hot girls house and having her answer the door naked is something every dude dreams of. This story doesn’t have any of that. MSNBC says…
According to Us Weekly, (Kelly Clarkson) enjoys walking around her home in the buff, no matter the circumstances. That would include not just when close friends are around, but even when her home is “filled with strangers for photo shoots or fittings,” reports the magazine.
Why? “I just really like being naked,” the “American Idol” star tells visitors with an apologetic shrug, according to the magazine.
You know on the news when they do a report on local fatties and they go to the mall and film 5 minutes of headless waddling asses and ice cream cones disappearing behind blurred out faces? That’s not really relevant to this, but those are cool.
Kelly Clarkson had to cancel her summer tour because of slow ticket sales and her album is plummeting down the charts, but just to make sure her career is over, she's now bad-mouthing the head of her record label, Clive Davis, because he wanted her to sing songs written by professionals on her new album, while she wanted to sing songs she had written. Kelly told Blender magazine what she told Davis:
"I don't know you very well, and I am not a bull-[bleep]er. I get [that] you don't like the album. You're 80; you're not supposed to like my album." She also said: "I literally got told to my face that it wouldn't sell more than 600,000 copies. And I got lied to. One reason I don't like working with people at the label is that they lie . . . If you're going with the flow and not fighting, that's settling. I can't take that. Life is just too short to be a pushover."
Clive needs to smack Kelly in her fat stupid face because he's spent millions on her and now she's eating her way out of a career. Her songs were probably just recipes set to music and a ballad to Twinkie the Kid.
Kelly Clarksons music career seems to be falling apart these days, but based on the size of her back and arms, maybe she could play fullback for the Bears. That's a good job. Those dudes are rich, and I don't think they really even do anything.
HQ here, so you can see her impressive traps and tris with unprecedented clarity. She looks like a fat, gay Brad Pitt. Sadly, that's maybe the nicest thing I've said about her in two years. Bravo, Kelly.
I thought the media was supposed to bombard us with images of physical perfection that puts unfair pressure on girls because it glorifies an unrealistic body type. The obsession with models and peer pressure to stay thin can sometimes push a girl over the edge in search of a perfect body image, I'm told. Allegedly I see them everywhere, in magazines, on television, in movies. Thin, perfectly toned women and fit, attractive men. Well someone needs to punch Kelly Clarkson in her stupid fat stomach because she apparently had no idea. It looks like she's doubled in size since American Idol. If she gets any damn bigger her next public appearance will be on the side of a building swatting down planes.
Apparently the rumors are true and the executives at Kelly Clarksons record label hate her new album and they wanted to scrap the entire thing and make her start over, but she refused and it will come out the last week of July, as planned. Also coming out in July - $47.20 as Kelly pays for more milkshakes.
