Kelly Osbourne Tells Lady Gaga to ‘Eat My Shit’, Gaga Considers

By Lex October 29, 2013 @ 2:58 PM

Kelly Osbourne In Costume At MAC's Monster Bash In Los Angeles
At some point years ago Kelly Osbourne had the bright idea to call Lady Gaga a butterface. Yes, we all see the irony. Lady Gaga’s carrot-brained junior scouts swore vengeance on Ozzy’s booze and food addled daughter and called her a fat cow and talked about burying her in the desert and other Internet anon pleasantries. In the latest lame shot across the bow, Lady Gaga had the nerve to show off a birthday cake she got for Kelly, but presented on the X-Factor to her mom in the U.K. while Kelly was in Los Angeles. Kelly tweeted a picture of the cake back to Gaga and told her to #EatMyShit. I guess she really wanted that fucking cake in person. Now the war is afoot once more. Lots of high strung mall employees will not survive.

Photo Credit: Getty

Hey, Down Here. Check Out Kelly Osbourne’s Boobs

By Lex October 09, 2013 @ 3:59 PM

Kelly Osbourne Brings Her Massive Cleavage To The Black Diamond Affair In West Hollywood
Not much has worked for Kelly Osbourne looks wise. But if there’s one solid fall back, it’s show your tits off like you really mean it. A scraggly looking dude with a giant shlong can’t really just let his mega junk hang out at an evening affair to keep people from noticing his face. A woman has a distinct advantage in this regard. Every single man left that event thinking, damn, Kelly Osbourne has some big yabbos. Not the fact that she looks like a Pez dispenser.

Photo Credit: Splash, WENN

Kelly Osbourne Hires Fat Naked Scary Painted Woman To Make Her Look Pretty

By Lex September 09, 2013 @ 12:48 PM

Kelly Osbourne Gets Photobombed By A Heavy Woman In Body Paint During Fashion Week In New York
The day you stop fighting the tide and start to go with the flow is the day you’re officially grown up. Kelly Osbourne has been hanging out with hot actresses and models her entire young adult life trying to fit in and all it’s got her are substance abuse, mysterious seizures, and whatever the fuck happened to her hair. Now Kelly’s got a smarter plan. Instead of being pictured alongside sexy fashion models that make you want to hand Kelly an old mop and tell her to clean out the dungeons, the Osbourne daughter has retained a fat naked scary painted woman to stand next to her in photographs. No more, ‘wow, what the fuck happened to Kelly Osbourne’ comments, now it’s only, ‘boy, I’d sure rather bump uglies with Kelly Osbourne than that scary heinous naked tub of good standing next to her.’ This is the right move for Kelly.

Photo Credit: Splash

Kelly Osbourne On The Cover Of July Cosmo

By Lex May 30, 2013 @ 2:54 PM

Kelly Osbourne On The Cover Of July Cosmopolitan
Kelly Osbourne is really fucking happy. You’d be happy too if you just found out you lost 18% of your body fat thanks to Photoshop. They also made her look slightly less like an unsuccessful Berlin prostitute from the 1980′s. Then they painted on the real smiles.

Photo Credit: Cosmopolitan

Kelly Osbourne and Lady Gaga Get Ugly

By Lex May 29, 2013 @ 2:32 PM

If you’re a person who routinely Googles ‘ugly girl lame fights’ then you’re probably already know that Kelly Osbourne and Lady Gaga have been feuding the past year. I think it has something to do with whose face haunts the nightmares of more grade school children. The fugly girl fisticuffs simmered down recently, but, Kelly Osbourne takes a fresh shot at Lady Gaga in the new edition of Cosmo:

“I totally believed in everything she stood for, until I realized she’s a great big hypocrite.

You can say whatever you want with your millions of monsters. I know the truth. [Your] bells and whistles mean nothing to me. You’re feeding on the freaks and geeks to further your career?”

Tough talk for a girl who’s relied on her father’s fame, her drug addiction, and a medically unexplained seizure on-set to blaze her own trail. Expect Lady Gaga to respond to this latest bit of bitchery by producing a sharp-barbed lezzy song that sounds just like her last eleven.

Kelly Osbourne Helps Relaunch a Magazine

By Lex May 02, 2013 @ 3:40 PM

Kelly Osbourne At CLEO Magazine Relaunch Party In Sydney
It’s all the rage for guys to make fun of Kelly Osbourne’s look. But you really need to get past the superficial and look at Kelly on the inside. That’s where she keeps all the good drugs and booze.

Here’s Kelly looking stunning in her own special way at the CLEO magazine relaunch in Australia.

Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin, WENN