By Matt February 13, 2015 @ 8:09 AM
Kelly Ripa and Shaq posed for a picture together and the only thing anyone was thinking was what would happen if they banged. Ripa comes in about dick height on O’Neal who probably has a legal disclaimer ready in the event of romantic activities. It would be great to be Shaq for a day. Sure it would get old banging your head into ceiling fans and being pointed at by Asians but just imagine how fantastically thorough you could beat a pussy up. Find a borderline dwarf like Ripa and your dick’s like a sewer pipe in her delicate hands. Like Japanese anime but without the guy crying behind the computer screen. It probably happens more often than not. Ripa is old enough there’s no pedo vibe. Just two weird looking adults going at it on a king size in the W. Not trying to sound like a creep but I might dedicate my life to making this happen.
Photo Credit: Instagram
By Matt December 24, 2014 @ 7:50 AM
I don’t know why it makes me uncomfortable to learn Kelly Ripa fucks her husband all the time. Odds are she even fucked dudes before they met. There are dudes walking around out there who have literally put their dick in Kelly Ripa. I know why the thought of Ripa spread eagle on a mattress kills my boner. After catching her in nine second glimpses fake laughing at bullshit on Live while channel surfing the last twenty years I would just be paranoid she’s faking it. That wide overenthusiastic smile as if your dick is thirty feet long and covered in pop rocks. She’s hot. Just more like that car in Farris Bueller that’s meant to be parked in the garage and not driven. Not the case. She fucks her husband:
“I fundamentally believe that the more you do it, the more you do it, the less you do it, the less you do it. We try to do spicy things together all the time.”
Let it be noted: This is code, and means Kelly Ripa is not just having vanilla bean missionary sex. She’s doing doggystyle, for sure. She owns rabbits and cock rings. She sucks strawberry flavored lube off his balls and talks about holiday recipes in the breakfast nook afterwards like a lady. It’s utterly disturbing. Please take this back and return your vagina to hypothetical status. Please.
Photo Credit: AKM-GSI
By Lex April 04, 2014 @ 1:16 PM
It’s worrisome when the morning talk show bobble heads get confronted with unscripted situations. Like Kelly Ripa and lisping Michael Strahan providing James Franco the forum to cop to encouraging a seventeen year old girl on Instagram to meet him in a hotel room.These teleprompter monkeys off the cuff are more awkward than bringing a honey-baked ham to a kosher pot luck. Based on his deeply furrowed brow, James Franco feels the sting of not being able to hit on teenage girls without the world knowing. Kelly Ripa tells him it’s cool because ‘we’ve all been there’ (we have?), and Michael Strahan tritely says honesty is the best policy as he tries to form a reasonable approximation of an ‘ssss’ sound through his randomly spaced incisors. It used to be when a 30-something actor banged teen girls, we didn’t talk about it until he fled the country or he was killed when his buddy drove he and his Porsche into a tree at 80 mph. In the very least, you had to give Oprah a full hour of tears just to get regal probation. Now it’s forty-three seconds on Kelly and Michael being told you’re a brave man for plowing Scottish high school girls then admitting you do after you got caught. Times have changed. Get off my fucking lawn.
By Lex January 21, 2014 @ 5:44 PM
Kelly Ripa responded to critics of her anorexic frame by packing on some Cameron Diaz 40-something lady muscle. In an era when so many celebrities are feeling the need to artificially enhance the size of their breasts, it’s nice to see one woman make hers completely disappear. Not quite as dramatically as Angelina Jolie and her pre-cog chop chop, but certainly just as gone. Now we can finally focus on the inane words that come out of Kelly’s mouth each morning, instead of imagining pouring our breakfast cereal on her tits and not apologizing.
Photo Credit: AKM-GSI
By brendon October 31, 2011 @ 12:32 PM
At around the exact same time that the story broke about Kim Kardashian filing for divorce from Kris Humphries, Kelly Ripa and Nick Lachey were on TV dressed up as Kim and Kris at their wedding. Hopefully the crowd turned on them and yelled “too soon!”, “boooo”, “you suck!” What an unexpected twist that would have been! I would have thrown a rock at Lacheys stupid face too. And when someone asked, “mad about the divorce, huh?”, I’d say, “The what?”
(image source = splash)
These new pictures of Kelly Ripa in a bikini are very much like the other pictures of Kelly Ripa in a bikini, except greener.
(image source = splash and mavrix)