It’s worrisome when the morning talk show bobble heads get confronted with unscripted situations. Like Kelly Ripa and lisping Michael Strahan providing James Franco the forum to cop to encouraging a seventeen year old girl on Instagram to meet him in a hotel room.These teleprompter monkeys off the cuff are more awkward than bringing a honey-baked ham to a kosher pot luck. Based on his deeply furrowed brow, James Franco feels the sting of not being able to hit on teenage girls without the world knowing. Kelly Ripa tells him it’s cool because ‘we’ve all been there’ (we have?), and Michael Strahan tritely says honesty is the best policy as he tries to form a reasonable approximation of an ‘ssss’ sound through his randomly spaced incisors. It used to be when a 30-something actor banged teen girls, we didn’t talk about it until he fled the country or he was killed when his buddy drove he and his Porsche into a tree at 80 mph. In the very least, you had to give Oprah a full hour of tears just to get regal probation. Now it’s forty-three seconds on Kelly and Michael being told you’re a brave man for plowing Scottish high school girls then admitting you do after you got caught. Times have changed. Get off my fucking lawn.
Kelly Ripa responded to critics of her anorexic frame by packing on some Cameron Diaz 40-something lady muscle. In an era when so many celebrities are feeling the need to artificially enhance the size of their breasts, it’s nice to see one woman make hers completely disappear. Not quite as dramatically as Angelina Jolie and her pre-cog chop chop, but certainly just as gone. Now we can finally focus on the inane words that come out of Kelly’s mouth each morning, instead of imagining pouring our breakfast cereal on her tits and not apologizing.
Photo Credit: AKM-GSI
At around the exact same time that the story broke about Kim Kardashian filing for divorce from Kris Humphries, Kelly Ripa and Nick Lachey were on TV dressed up as Kim and Kris at their wedding. Hopefully the crowd turned on them and yelled “too soon!”, “boooo”, “you suck!” What an unexpected twist that would have been! I would have thrown a rock at Lacheys stupid face too. And when someone asked, “mad about the divorce, huh?”, I’d say, “The what?”
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Kelly Ripa went swimming this morning in Miami before filming “Live with Regis and Kelly” a few hours later, and I wish she hadn’t because her belly button is making me extremely uncomfortable. It sticks out so far it even casts a damn shadow. I think she’s hot but this is gonna be a real problem for us. The only way it could be any creepier is if it had spiders climbing out of it.
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Some things to take away from these pictures of Kelly Ripa yesterday, down in Miami with her hunky husband and their three kids, in town to film “Regis and Kelly Live.”
Picture 4 – Yeah, yeah you like that? You like rubbin it all over? Well I got some white stuff you can take on your face right here, baby. It’s the Night Essential moisturizer from Shiseidos “The Skincare” line. It’s so light but Oh – My – God.
Picture 5 – No Running! MA’AM, NO RUNNING!
Picture 7 – This hot bitch has three kids? What did she, find them in the fucking woods, look at the abs on this slut.
Picture 14 – To top it off she pounded drinks all day like it was last call.
Picture 23 – Three kids.
Picture 27 – Nice goggles tough-guy. Where’s your water wings and nose clip? I hope they don’t fog up so you can find your inhaler or rape whistle in case of an emergency, you fag. Don’t you have some dishes to wash.
Picture 28 – Look at him, hiding in the shadows, taking pictures of little kids in swimsuits. I think he likes it. Perv.
Picture 34 – Three kids.
Picture 44 – I think she just passed out with a drink in her hand.
(image source = mavrix Online)