At around the exact same time that the story broke about Kim Kardashian filing for divorce from Kris Humphries, Kelly Ripa and Nick Lachey were on TV dressed up as Kim and Kris at their wedding. Hopefully the crowd turned on them and yelled “too soon!”, “boooo”, “you suck!” What an unexpected twist that would have been! I would have thrown a rock at Lacheys stupid face too. And when someone asked, “mad about the divorce, huh?”, I’d say, “The what?”
(image source = splash)
Kelly Ripa went swimming this morning in Miami before filming “Live with Regis and Kelly” a few hours later, and I wish she hadn’t because her belly button is making me extremely uncomfortable. It sticks out so far it even casts a damn shadow. I think she’s hot but this is gonna be a real problem for us. The only way it could be any creepier is if it had spiders climbing out of it.
(image source = splash)
Some things to take away from these pictures of Kelly Ripa yesterday, down in Miami with her hunky husband and their three kids, in town to film “Regis and Kelly Live.”
Picture 4 - Yeah, yeah you like that? You like rubbin it all over? Well I got some white stuff you can take on your face right here, baby. It’s the Night Essential moisturizer from Shiseidos “The Skincare” line. It’s so light but Oh - My - God.
Picture 5 - No Running! MA’AM, NO RUNNING!
Picture 7 - This hot bitch has three kids? What did she, find them in the fucking woods, look at the abs on this slut.
Picture 14 - To top it off she pounded drinks all day like it was last call.
Picture 23 - Three kids.
Picture 27 - Nice goggles tough-guy. Where’s your water wings and nose clip? I hope they don’t fog up so you can find your inhaler or rape whistle in case of an emergency, you fag. Don’t you have some dishes to wash.
Picture 28 - Look at him, hiding in the shadows, taking pictures of little kids in swimsuits. I think he likes it. Perv.
Picture 34 - Three kids.
Picture 44 - I think she just passed out with a drink in her hand.
(image source = mavrix Online)
I can’t imagine why, but Kelly Ripa was talking about 80’s Phillies third baseman/cry baby Mike Schmidt this morning, when she tripped over his name a ended up cursing on live TV. I don’t know why this is newsworthy, but Kelly Ripa is hot so there’s never a bad reason to think about her. I know this guy and he said she’s real into porn. And not typical girl porn either. Not "Lovers Roulette" or "Forbidden Tryst" or "Glances at Midnight" or whatever it is they call girl porno with waterfalls and horses, but real porn. The kind where you swear the girl must have gills because that’s the only way she could be getting any air.
(thx to KISS FM in Piittsburgh for the embed link)
Kelly Ripa was the marquee name at the High Heel-A-Thon in Central Park for March of Dimes yesterday in New York, and I realize this won’t win me much street cred, but I would tear her little ass up. She would walk in the house and I would pounce on her like Dino does when Fred gets home, and for the rest of the weekend she’d have to figure out how to do errands and cook and stuff with me mounting her from behind. By Sunday I'd need a defibrillator to shock my penis back to life.
(picture source = splash news)
