Kendall Jenner never had a shot. No, not because she’s not too sharp or because she believed her mom who said she can speak to dogs and the beloved household pet wants Kendall to go into topless modeling. it was getting her mug plastered on camera at age twelve while her cackling older half-sisters discussed her first period, it was like an initiation ceremony into the House of Kardashian. A blood letting rite of turned-out passage supervised by mom. So, Kendall’s going to be a merch whore who gets knocked up by a rapper or athlete like her sisters. Which if she can waits until she turns 20, will be a statistically higher outcome than would have been predicted by her standardized test scores. Mother knows best.

Here’s Kendall riding a jet ski in a bikini in Greece while reality TV cameras roll. She’s still a few months shy of eighteen, when the big Saudi money ought to be rolling in.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet, Splash

Kendall Jenner was out late last night at a big gallery opening, pretty much like every other 17 year old girl who got pulled out of school in the sixth grade so she could start earning. Not that Kendall isn’t getting the most important kind of education amongst her family, learning valuable lessons such as always gets paid in advance, good girls go hungry, and don’t let him hit you in the face. And not that a formal education is for everyone. Kendall is just a teen and can already afford for somebody to remind her what comes after M in the alphabet and why if the world is round we don’t all fall off. When she wakes up one day to find out her mom has stolen all her money, she’s going to be totally fucked, but until that time, why waste time in school. It’s a drag.

Photo Credit: PCN, WENN