By Travis December 02, 2013 @ 10:00 AM
On last night’s episode of Kashing In With the Kardashians, Kris Jenner and her living, breathing ATMs showed off their brand new Christmas card, which shockingly reveals that this family loves taking all of your money. I’m told that the image above is not actually the Kardashian Christmas card and it is, in fact, an orangutan drinking its own urine, and that E! has what it claims is the card in question, as photographed by David LaChappelle. But I think this one is way better, with a better possible alternative being Kendall Jenner’s nipples.
Photo Credits: E!
By Lex November 21, 2013 @ 2:57 PM
I’m not sure whose publicist set this doozy up, but it worked. Fresh off he nipple baring coming out party, Kendall Jenner went out with boy band prancing Harry Styles to a popular West Hollywood restaurant packed with paparazzi. Kris Jenner’s black-only dating policy for the girls who work her house was waived for the evening, given the crazy level of media attention surrounding Styles. Kris still needs to work with Kendall on her ‘faking it’ face if she wants her daughter to take her game to the next level and super whoredom. Kendall spent most of the evening staring into her cellphone trying to figure out why the red Candy Crush Saga icons didn’t taste like cherries. That’s a joke, because she’s dumb.
Photo Credit: AKM-GSI
By Lex November 19, 2013 @ 7:14 PM
Given that her mom put her on the pill at thirteen on television, and rich Saudi princes pay a premium for taboo scenes, I’m going to guess that Kendall Jenner became an official woman well before her eighteenth birthday a couple weeks ago. But today being her first boob revealing photo, she’s now entered the grown up commercial world of her mom and older sisters, as foretold by the ancient Armenian scrolls. At times I feel bad for the fact that Kendall dropped out of school and is being raised in a family of money and fame obsessed whores. But finally seeing her tits has washed all those needless misgivings away. This is like Arthur pulling Excalibur from the stone. This is her destiny.
Photo credit: Kendall Jenner Instagram/@nomadrj on Twitter
By Travis November 19, 2013 @ 10:00 AM
Kim Kardashian took her newly 18-year old sister Kendall Jenner out for a little fun in New York City last night, and in case you were wondering if Kim feels threatened at all by the fact that Kendall is younger, more attractive and probably far more popular among the world’s perverts that have made this family powerful, she doesn’t. It’s probably only a coincidence that while enjoying a simple, nice evening with family, Kim wore a dress that made it impossible for even blind people to not stare at her giant mom breasts. It would have only been suspicious if Kris Jenner had built a tiny golden throne for herself and had it surgically implanted between Kim’s massive tits. Otherwise, this is a nonstory.
Photo Credits: Getty
By Travis November 12, 2013 @ 12:00 PM
Now that she’s 18 years old, Kendall Jenner is truly free to do whatever it is that she pleases, especially with all of that talent that she possesses. What talent is that? The ability to stand still and look attractive, of course. And if you count posting photos to Instagram so thousands of strangers can kiss her ass, then Kendall is also really good at that as well. Yesterday, she combined those talents by posting this picture of her next to a white Lamborghini that probably belongs to Scott Disick, but I choose to believe that it’s a gift that she received when she signed a huge porn deal last week. You could argue that she didn’t actually sign a porn deal, but we’ll just have to agree to disagree on this one.
By Lex November 05, 2013 @ 1:40 PM
Kris Jenner is the Energizer bunny of pimping out her kids. With all the negative news surrounding the family of late, divorces, illegitimate kids, all the buried babies yet to be washed up during the first winter rain, Kris grabbed her female children, some revealing dresses, and got everybody out to the beach to show off some titty. Of age, barely legal, fat and gunky, underaged, it did not matter. Just get the sun glare and the soft lenses working, the girls in some skin baring outfits, and start snapping away. And it’s all perfectly legal. She’s like the most dangerous Batman villain yet.
Photo Credit: The Kardashians/Instagram