By Lex December 08, 2014 @ 9:40 AM
Some magazine this weekend names Kendall Jenner the most interesting model of 2014. I couldn’t care to remember the magazine or the reasons why, but the industry can’t clamp their molester hands onto this reality star fast enough. It’s as if nobody gave a shit about all the heroin addled chain smoking teenagers who came before her and they were simply waiting for the Messiah. An American chick with a simple non-Russian name that comes pre-packaged with a six million retard strong social media army. That tranny model who was moaning about Kendall Jenner not earning her bones and being silver spooned into the business was right. But who hears complaints when a nineteen year old chick is splayed across Santa’s knees in stockings and garters getting her ass spanked. Doesn’t that mean we all win?
Photo Credit: Love Magazine
By Lex December 03, 2014 @ 9:47 AM
The fashion industry is going to torturous lengths to pretend that Kendall Jenner is booking big gigs on modeling talent alone. I’m not even sure what the hell modeling talent is beyond being tall and slender and willing to blow uncircumcised social influencers from the Czech Republic. Kendall is going to similar lengths to pretend that all the catty model bitches aren’t calling her names and replacing her lip balm with Valtrex creme when she isn’t looking. Total classic.
I would see rumors of girls bullying me backstage and putting cigarettes out in my drink, and none of that has happened. Everyone’s been really cool to me. I’ve never had one girl be mean … so far.
It could be Kendall’s new found relationship with lesbian crotch huntress Cara Delevingne providing her butch protection backstage. The only way to stave off throngs of starving jealous models is with fire. Literally. Wave a fucking torch and tell those bitches how shitty they look in tinder light. They’ll scurry back to their SoHo lofts and suck on cotton balls until they pass their own shrunken livers. Don’t hate the player, ladies, hate the game.
Photo Credit: AKM-GSI
Cara flashing her panties while hanging with Kendall Jenner in lesbian London:
By Lex December 02, 2014 @ 11:31 AM
There will come a time in every Kardashian daughter’s life when they will be asked to employ their tits to bring some money to the family table. It’s roughly about the time they prematurely develop engorged breasts thanks to a strict diet of chickens who have consumed all the hormones Whole Foods removed from their foul. And then it proceeds on until death by the tractor the Grim Reaper rides to emphatically squelch the horrendous ones when the scythe just seems to swift and humane.
Photo Credit: Beats By Dre
By Lex December 01, 2014 @ 8:37 AM
Sometimes it takes a woman who used to be a man to pointlessly bitch about what everybody already knows. Former dude turned lady model Arisce Wanzer went into a diatribe on some blog you wouldn’t read in a million years about Kendall Jenner not earning her skyrocketing modeling success:
What is she doing here? Did she take the subway? Was she at the casting? What agency is she with? I didn’t see her last season… Didn’t her sister have sex with someone on camera and profit from the video sales to get their family its new line of limelight?… Her mommy surely called a top agency, got her in the door and the design houses just chose to milk her fame like the cash cow that it is. One by one like dominos from Vogue to Givenchy, fashion is selling out to the ignorant masses for money.
You know, there was a day probably not long ago when they didn’t let men chop off their dicks to be female models. But social progress is not really the point. Kendall Jenner has just as much right to be an uneducated automaton with tiny tits walking dead-eyed down the catwalk as a chick who grew up on government cheese and had to accept a splash full of Terry Richardson jizz on the cheek to get their first paid assignment. Kids who rebel against their connected families are just morons. Your mom sold poisonous diet powders and underaged pussy so that you could have certain advantages. The fashion industry is a house loosely constructed of crinoline, molestation, and withered begonias. There are no rules, you jealous transgendered bitch. I stand with Kendall. The pure, the decent, the vacuous.
Photo credit: Getty Images
By Lex November 24, 2014 @ 9:48 AM
Teens, old chicks, strange foreign chicks with pasties who nobody remembers inviting. All the girls went braless last night at the American Music Awards. After watching two minutes of sunken eyed anorexics talking fashion on E!, I discovered braless is a new style trend. I suppose it’s better than tiny hats. The Jenner girls don’t belong at a music awards show, but you ditch the bra and you’re on every short list, including the Cosby mentor program speed dial.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet
By Matt November 18, 2014 @ 8:02 AM
Kendall Jenner went on Nightline because that program sucks now and your vote doesn’t count. She explained how she told her sister Kim Kardashian not to attend her fashion shows because it was a distraction from her artistic expression of showing some aureola in an overpriced fashion label tragedy marketed to dumb losers and alimony receiving cunts:
“I think that if my sister was sitting front row, and my sister is who she is, I know this sounds kind of weird, but it almost would have almost taken the attention away from what I’m trying to do on my own.”
Surely people recognize Kim’s rectum from her porno but I don’t quite understand how that effects your ability to prance around in heels. You’re not removing a parasitic twin from its host and it’s not that complicated. Your sister’s legendary saloon whoring shouldn’t have any baring on your ability to serve cocktails. How about showing a little gratitutde. If Kim Kardashian hadn’t taken so many famous black men for the team, nobody would even know your name. Bend over and cough.
Photo Credit: Instagram