By Lex May 25, 2015 @ 7:04 AM
These girls are everywhere. It’s like they use some kind of future tech transporter to reassemble their teen tits at fancy parties around the world. In this case, The AIDS fundraiser in Cannes where everybody who’s anybody with a decent rack dances the night away with shout outs to The AIDS. You trying throwing a STD themed party at your place and see how many hot chicks roll up. It’s an art, not a skill. Keep ditching those bras, ladies, I feel a cure coming on.
Photo Credit: Getty
By Lex May 21, 2015 @ 10:57 AM
Kendall Jenner shocked the crowd at Cannes because everybody assumed she wasn’t invited. Jenner did adhere to the dress code with her heels, for which not only did she not complain, but also promised to keep on throughout the evening if her incontinent suitor threw in a Bugatti lease. Kendall rebuffed all tough questions about her unexpected appearance at a film festival by mechanically responding that her dad was becoming a woman and she supports him one thousand percent. In her mind, that is a real number. If she was mute and her left arm functioned as a universal remote, she’d be nearly perfect. I feel horrible for saying that, but relieved that we can be honest here.
Photo Credit: Getty
By Lex May 20, 2015 @ 9:35 AM
Porntube’s least viewed FFF threesome briefly broke out at a VIP party in Cannes when Kendall Jenner kissed Hailey Baldwin as Victoria’s Secret model Josephine Skriver pushed up Kendall Jenner’s tits. It’s France, where nothing’s gay, just French. This is just three teen chicks going Lord of the Flies but with endless vodka cranberries and haute couture in the stead of lawless primal aggression. None of these girls are associated with the movie business but they are willing to play with their tits on camera for social media likes. Less about Juliet Binoche in Versace. More teen lesbian antics, s’il vous plaît.
Photo Credit: Instagram
By Lex May 12, 2015 @ 8:40 AM
From the looks of her mid-Tuesday social media shares, Kendall Jenner is in school just like her sister. This would be some college, home schooled by Cervantes, the foreign-born meister responsible for the academic upbringing of the Kardashians. He also scores them diet pills. He’s the guy behind the guy who’s fucking all the girls. Purell and Diet Rockstar are thrice more effective than morning after pills, but somebody has to hold the funnel steady through the screams. When the kids look back on their formative whoring years, they’ll remember Cervantes fondly. You never forget that one teacher who was too gay to try and get some.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet/Instagram
By Lex May 05, 2015 @ 9:33 AM
Sarah Jessica Parker snuck onto the red carpet of the Met Gala screaming, I used to be one of you! Police tranquilized her more than she already was, boxed her, and FedExed her to Estonia where Square Pegs is the top rated show on television. Everyone agreed that Parker was insane and promised to attend a fundraiser for the twins she bought a few years back. Nude was in this year for gowns. Also, Kendall Jenner showed off her tits, which she has affirmed is the best way for people to like her. All the girls complimented each other on their prettiness even as they lamented the fact they only make 947% of their male counterparts. Wait for the HBO documentaries and you’ll see just how hard life is for the wealthy and good looking.
Photo Credit: Getty
By Jack May 04, 2015 @ 12:00 PM
Kendall and Kylie Jenner are trying to trademark their name. It wouldn’t be for all purposes, but specifically within the narrow category of whoring by way of visual medium. If you’re an up and coming porn star, Kylie ATM and Kendall Bendover is about to be verboten.
Read all about K & K’s trademarking. (Huffington Post)
Edita Vilkeviciute poses as a topless boxer. (Egotastic)
Carmen Ortega sure has some big titties, y’all. (TMZ)
Solveig Mork Hansen has a weird name but nice tits. (Drunken Stepfather)
Julia Pereira in a bikini is the stuff dreams are made of. (Hollywood Tuna)
Hilary Duff has some fucking nice thighs. (Popoholic)
Thigh gaps galore, my friends, thigh gaps galore. (The Chive)