By Jack April 03, 2014 @ 2:08 PM
Former Hefner wet spot sleeper Kendra Wilkinson thinks Miley Cyrus is a great role model for young girls. Kendra is pregnant with her second womb ferret with her husband who played in the NFL for a couple seasons and this time it’s a girl. So, who better than a vapid stripper who climbed her way to fame one boner at a time to judge what makes a good example for kids? According to Kendra it’s Miley Cyrus:
“As much as we think she’s crazy, I think she’s a good example. Let’s not be so trapped in a box. I’m going to teach my daughter that way: be who you want to be. Society’s going to put these rules on you but if you have this feeling that you need to do whatever it is, do it…Now, I’m not saying drugs.”
Yes, because Miley rubbing her twat with a foam finger on national TV is “thinking outside of the box”. Nothing prepares a woman for the challenging world of working in the operating rooms and boardrooms like simulating sex on stage and making Mr. Yuck faces with your tongue. Through Kendra’s prism, I guess if you don’t actually have to take an octogenarian bone in your boot thrice a week to earn your keep, you’re doing more than alright. I pray the kids take after their long term unemployed father.
By Lex March 31, 2014 @ 5:13 PM
Even way back when when Kendra’s boyfriend was buying her big fake boobs for her 18th birthday (NSFW) and she was hitting the pole, you could see she was destined to be a great mother or in the least a women bred in foreign captivity. Sometimes when you watch a young woman stripping, you’re inclined to look at her tits or ass but I was looking at Kendra’s future. I saw mom and nurturer. I even foresaw her being anchored to a long term unemployed former football player. But I can tell a lot by looking directly into a woman’s vagina. That’s the very specific gift of second sight a gypsy woman gave me after I helped her do her taxes.
Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News
By Lex March 17, 2014 @ 1:27 PM
Talk all you want about Tiger Moms or PTA Moms or JAP Moms, there’s nobody fiercer than Stripper Moms. Kendra hasn’t worked the private party dance scene in a few years, but you don’t just shake your georges-in-the-garter roots. You learn to protect what’s yours from the bitches in the dressing room. Even with her next fetus about to flotsam out of her reproductive maw, Kendra was running up and down the sideline at her little’s son’s soccer match over the weekend, screaming like a Banshee. It was like watching an angry bird frightening reptile predators away from the nest. At half time her kid came over and promised to score the winning goal if dad promised to at least look for a job. Then everybody hugged. AYSO has been bringing together families since my assistant coach on the Yellowjackets first sold us kids weed.
Photo Credit: AKM-GSI
By Travis January 31, 2014 @ 12:00 PM
Who says that pregnant women can’t still be sexy all the time? Not Playboy Playmate and Hugh Hefner’s ex-girlfriend Kendra Wilkinson, who arrived at Los Angeles International Airport last night looking like she’d been delivered by a chariot of angels. Some might say that Kendra’s decision to go au natural was risky, but she proved everyone wrong by glowing like a thousand giant suns. Of course, I’m comparing her to the image of a giant ball of fire, because looking at her makes me feel like my eyes are melting right out of my face. That’s a small price to pay, though, to have such unfiltered access to one of this generation’s most talented and charismatic women.
Photo Credits: WENN.com
By Lex September 13, 2013 @ 5:10 PM
Kendra Wilkinson would be okay with her daughter posing naked in Playboy. With just a few caveats. One, she doesn’t have a daughter. So, there’s that. But two, even if she did she’d only endorse her being naked for the cameras if she did it for all the right reasons, like Kendra did herself. I think she means money and a chance to work the clubs closer to the Interstate.
“[But] If she is in a bad place, in a bad mental place and having a bad head on her shoulders and doing it under bad conditions, that’s different.”
Well, naturally, All that badness is not good. Kendra goes on to explain that she now owns the fact she did Playboy. So it’s almost like it didn’t happen, but it did, but she’s fine with it, fuck, more than fine, she owns it like she does her purse or her car or her unemployed husband.
“My son sees me nude every day. He’s like, ‘Boobies!’ He sees them every day, like I don’t care. It’s food, like, I don’t care.”
Sure, her son rides for free, but when the buddies start coming over, they’d better be bringing their Wiggles wallets with some real greenbacks, because Little Hank’s moms “food” don’t start shaking until you plug in your tokens.
Photo Credit: WENN
By Lex June 12, 2013 @ 12:08 PM
Wow, our baby turned 28 years old today. It seems like just yesterday Hugh was pulling her off the barely legal stripper pole to come live in his manor and be the port-side support for the massive artificial penis he rocks himself to sleep on each evening. It’s the greatest love story yet to be written.
Photo Credit: Splash