When news reports came out yesterday that Kendra Wilkinson was in a bad car accident and had to be rushed to the hospital, well, a lump hit the old throat. Thankfully, Kendra was not injured, just shaken up, and discharged from the hospital later in the day. The world simply can’t afford to lose any more strippers turned advice giving moms. Not now.
There are only two reasons for a girl to actually know how to play softball. She’s a carpet muncher who likes to wear her hair in ponytails. Or she’s an actually coordinated athlete. I’d hate to have to give any props to Kendra Wilkinson, but she’s deep-dived way to much man meat in her life to ever fall into the former category. And watching her play softball each weekend, she actually watches the ball into her glove, throws with more than just her elbow, and steps into pitches. All while her former NFL husband Hank holds her purse in he dugout. Shit, I just had a kind thing to say about stripper Kendra Wilkinson. It’ll pass soon enough.
Photo credit: PCN
Here’s how you know Kendra Wilkinson is serious. She’s wearing some kind of rubber outfit. She’s bentover. And her husband Hank is off to the side holding her purse and cellphone. It’s a sure sign the girls in it to win it, whether that be a round of French maid cosplay for some mid-level rollers in a downtown Vegas suite, or taking the title of least worst celebrity diver in the upcoming show Splash. I’d put my money on Kendra. Literally. She’ll do shit for that.
Photo credit: Bauer-Griffin / FameFlynet / WENN
But not like the old days when she took a dump for tips in a circle of sweaty fetish monkeys in frat house basements. This time Kendra Wilkinson took her will-squat-for-cash routine to the set of Splash, where she’s fired up about another great career adventure, following stripping, amateur porn, topless reality TV, and, naturally, writing self-help books for young wives and mothers.
Splash might just be horrible, but it can be fixed with just one word — sharks.
Photo credit: Splash
The fact that there are not one but TWO celebrity diving shows on American television says pretty much everything you need to know about why people are so stupid lately. First, FOX aired Stars in Danger: The High Dive back in January, and it featured losers like JWOWW and Terrell Owens belly-flopping into swimming pools. And soon ABC will unveil its own series, Splash, which began filming last month.
ABC doubled down with the female sex appeal, as Splash will feature Miss Alabama USA and Brent Musberger wet dream Katherine Webb (above) and Playboy Playmate and girl who used to have sex with a really old man, Kendra Wilkinson. But those two can’t hold a candle to the best set of tits on the entire show…
Kendra Wilkinson by day and by night.
Busy beaver be the former stripper turned into mom-friendly book writer, appearing by day at a practice session for what certainly must be the most idiotic television program in the long annals of such media, Splash, one of ten or fifteen new celebrity diving shows appearing on network television shortly because some dumbass in a focus group said it sounded like something they’s want to watch. I’m looking at you liquid detergent buying middle-aged housewife from Bakersfield, CA where such matters are put to science.
And Kendra by night, hitting the town during Oscar weekend to remind people that they used to pay her to get naked and she was usually worth a decent tip. She does still put on quite the public show when she’s working it, old-pro style. This is the girl Hef hired to fluff; I don’t think he would have hired diving board wet and scared Kendra, well, maybe if she had a dick.
Photo credit: PCN / SPLASH