exclusive kendra sex tape details

By brendon May 05, 2010 @ 3:40 PM

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So there’s this guy I know, and he knows everything that happens behind the scenes in porn, and he says that if this tape ever gets released, and if it shows Kendra having sex, it will be because she approved its release and signed contracts allowing it. If she wants to kill the tape, she can. If she doesn’t, she won’t.

This is because of a law called 2257, which is essentially a bookkeeping law. Every performer in a sex tape or porn must certify that they are the ones in the scene and that they were at least 18 years old at the time. Vivid could never release a tape if they couldn’t document who the performers were and that they were legal age. This would be especially relevant to Kendra because she would have been around 18 when the tape was made. Porn is fanatically obsessed over two things: 1. paperwork 2. taking all my money.

If someone does not certify all that, their image will be blurred, like the image of Brandy Ledford, the second girl in the sex tape starring Vince Neil and (Jesse James’ first wife) Janine Lindemulder. Brandy didn’t sign so her face was blurred out.

It’s not clear if Kendra has signed yet but Vivids press release is a pretty good indication that she did or will soon.

The guy I know says it would be amazing if the tape was released as planned at the end of May, because Vivid will want this to play out as long as possible, with pretend negotiating and fake crying going back and forth in the media. I asked about screencaps but apparently no one has seen anything. This thing is locked away like the robot hand they reverse engineered to build Skynet in Terminator 2.

more later…

breaking news: kendra has a sex tape

By brendon May 05, 2010 @ 1:12 PM

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Vivid has released just about every celebrity sex tape you can think of, including Kim Kardashian and Pam Anderson, but less than an hour ago they released a statement to claim the next one could be their biggest yet. Because it stars Kendra Wilkinson. Who was a teenager at the time.

First the boring part from their press release…

‘We know that Kendra has millions of fans and we feel that it’s rare to find well-produced, hardcore footage of a star of her magnitude.  The tape was brought to us by a third party and after consulting with our attorneys, we are confident in our right to distribute it. We’ve been trying to reach Kendra but have so far been unsuccessful.  We therefore made the decision to release ‘Kendra Exposed’ to stores across the country by the end of May,’ said Steven Hirsch, founder/co-chairman of Vivid.  “We believe this could be our all time best selling celebrity tape.”

And now the good part…

The explicit tape was made before she was engaged to and then married Philadelphia Eagles receiver Hank Baskett. The name of her sex partner in the video, that was shot prior to her moving into the Playboy mansion, has not been revealed.

Kendra met Hef when she was 18, and ‘Girls Next Door’ began one year later. So this tape had to be made when she was 19, or maybe even 18. No wonder they think it’s gonna be huge. It’s a celebrity tape, a hardcore tape, and a barely legal tape all in one. Just seeing naked 18-year-old Kendra would be enough. If she does anal I’ll buy a copy for every room in the house, with brand new giant 3D TVs, and play it 24 hours a day. I’ll install TVs on the stairs and in the mailbox too, so I never have to be away from Kendras hot teen ass for more than a few seconds.

afternoon headlines

By brendon March 17, 2010 @ 4:17 PM

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KENDRA - is gonna kill me because I was supposed to mention her St. Patricks Day contest sooner than this. So everyone go do this thing for Kendra. I guarantee (*) the winner gets to have sex with her. (*- these statements are not guaranteed)

GARY DOURDAN - used the things he learned on ‘CSI’ to have his girlfriend arrested after she assaulted him. If I were the cop I’d have a hard time taking this seriously. I’d bring him a cup of cocoa, and say, “aww honey, wha’ happened?” (ew)

AMY POEHLER AND WILL ARNETT – are having another child. This is one of the few couples who should have kids, because those two are both awesome. So they have my blessing. Hopefully this catches on because I’d really like to be put in charge of who lives and who dies. (us)

KIRSTIE ALLEY - went clomp clomp clomp and waddled over to Letterman yesterday to promote her new reality show about her diet and transformation from a fat tub of shit to a fat tub of shit dressed in clothes made for humans. (inf daily)

kendra is dead to me

By brendon March 12, 2010 @ 6:10 PM

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Hank Baskett is having a bad few months. As a special teams player for the Colts, he had an onside kick bounce off his face in the Superbowl against the Saints. The Saints went on to score and win. Then his contract expired and the Colts didn’t try to resign him. And now there’s this…

Kendra Baskett is mulling a breast reduction. They “went from a 34C to an E,” during her pregnancy, she told Us. “Now that they’re going down, they’re a little bigger than I want.”
“I feel like I’m a little top heavy,” Kendra, 24, said.
Hank tried to be diplomatic. “You know I support her [but] I’m definitely going to miss them, you know.”

F*ck diplomatic. That’s bullsh*t. This should be grounds for divorce, and Hank should get everything. Why do women think they can get married and then immediately un-do everything that made them appealing in the first place. If a girl married a doctor and then one year later he quit and got a paper route, she’d be pissed, right? 34C isn’t even that big. Does she want to be flat? Why not just get completely internal genitalia. Hank might as well have married a dolphin.

ok! magazine is deceptive

By brendon February 10, 2010 @ 5:38 PM

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Kendra Wilkinson is having a rough week. On Sunday her husband had on on-sides kick bounce off his face in the SuperBowl, and now people are noticing how suspiciously good she looks on the cover of OK! magazine, considering she gained 55 pounds for a pregnancy that ended 8 weeks ago with a c-section.

That mutant baby is already a third her size, and that monster was inside of her until they cut her open and pulled it out. He’s the size of her entire torso, it would be like pulling a turkey out of a sock, she should have died, but according to OK it didn’t even leave any scars. They did this same thing with Kourtney Kardashian two weeks ago. Now I don’t know what to think. What about the Bachelor? Did he find love? Will Jens slim secrets be revealed? This is madness! I don’t even know what’s real anymore!

morning headlines

By brendon September 16, 2009 @ 1:12 PM

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JASMINE FIORE – model mayhem is terrific, but it might be time to take Jasmines profile down. Especially since her last post said “please shoot me”. I wasn’t even looking for this and found it, despite only browsing around for 10 minutes. Well, under an hour at least. 1 hour. Maybe 2. Less than 5. A little over 5. God I’m So Lonely! (modelmayhem)

DERTY
– I don’t get much new music around here, but Derty is pretty GD cool. At least from the safety of the internet. In real life I would probably hide in the outhouse like those little girls in ‘Schindlers List’ if I saw him and his friends coming toward me. I’m sensible! (youtube)

KENDRA WILKINSON
– her husband Hank Baskett, who is a wide receiver for Philadelphia, was cut from the 53-man roster to make room for Mike Vick. So forget about shots of Kendra in a slutty Eagles jersey during the game and in tabloids. It would seem head coach Andy Reid has a lot to learn about modern football. (foxsports)

PATRICK SWAYZE
– these are reportedly the last pictures ever taken of him, in Beverly Hills on 8.25.09. He was understandably camera shy as the cancer took over. In a sense, I’m the same way. I don’t post many pictures of myself because I don’t want to be known as just a pretty face.  (hq jump here.  source = flynet)