Kendra is hot, mistaken

By brendon July 15, 2009 @ 1:10 PM

099kendramiami

Last week Kendra was on here because of her kick ass taste of golf outfits, and a few hours later she posted about that on her page. She said I was devastatingly handsome and the thought of me gets her all hot. That was the gist of it. I think. To be honest I didn’t read the whole thing.

Point being, today she answers an email question, “how long should you wait until you have sex?”

Then, presumably because of some computer error, she accidentally writes, “if it takes 5, 10 or even 15 dates, then that is absolutely ok too!”

Obviously that answer is insane. The last girl I was involved with made me wait until the fifth date until she would have sex with me.  Which was extremely frustrating.  Because she was a prostitute.  And then at the end of our sixth date she told me just wanted to be friends.

I learned a valuable lesson.  Women are all nuts of course, but everyone already knows.  No the lesson here was that it should never take more than three dates to have sex.  Three.  That’s the answer.  Anything more is a bad sign.  Actually it’s not a sign, it’s a light.  A green light.  It means get the hell out of there.

Look, we’re not 14 and getting to know the pleasures of life.  When a man and a women are attracted to each other, they have sex.  Period.  I don’t care what you’re insane reason is for not having sex.  I’m not a social worker, I’m not here to help, and whatever it is, I’m 100 percent positive it’s only the tip of your insane iceberg.  It’s not like the penis has a bunch of sharp edges to it.  Sex is fun.  Lighten the hell up.

Kendra is starting to show

By brendon July 10, 2009 @ 5:22 PM

001spl110613_002

Kendra Wilkinson is in St Lucia this week for her honeymoon, and it would seem pregnancy has already begun it’s attack on her once perfect body. Well, whatever. When I banged her back in April I told her this was a one night thing. It’s her problem now. High Five!

(hq jump = here.  source = splash news online)

How should women dress?

By brendon July 06, 2009 @ 4:22 PM

SPL41682_001

Dressing sexy is all about attitude. Looks don’t really matter. Unless you’re unattractive or overweight, in which case looks very much do matter. If a girl is built like Kendra, she should dress exactly like Kendra.  Every day, all the time.  For example, Kendra and I agree that this is how girls should dress to play golf.  Boy shorts and pig-tails would also kick ass.  Maybe a push-up bra and half-shirt or, if it’s warm out, lace panties and her hands cupped over her breasts.  If the girl isn’t built like Kendra, um … I don’t know.  I guess maybe an invisibility cloak or something.  What’s the point to even being a girl if you’re not gonna look like Kendra?

Kendra got married

By brendon June 29, 2009 @ 7:00 AM

99spl110066_006

Kendra Wilkinson married Philadelphia Eagle wide-receiver Hank Baskett this weekend at the Playboy Mansion in LA, and even though these aren’t official wedding photos, they really came out beautifully. Especially this one. I can’t explain why that one is so special, but you could say the same about falling in love, couldn’t you?

(17 more pics here. hq jump here. source = flynet, splash news online)

Afternoon headlines

By brendon June 19, 2009 @ 12:43 PM

99spl107312_005

BRITNEY SPEARS – is getting married to her agent. Or something. “He didn’t exactly get down on one knee, but Brit didn’t care. She said yes … (he) held Britney for a long time and kissed her cheeks.” He hugged her and then kissed her on the cheek? What do we know about this guy? I think she just accidentally joined the mafia. (source = star)

JON AND KATE PLUS CLEVER DIVORCE PUN
– It was learned last night of course that Jon and Kate will announce they’re separating on Monday, but today Radar adds that they haven’t slept together in months. He sleeps in the garage and tries to avoid the house completely when Kate is there. And Gawker says Jon is looking for a place to live in Trump Towers in NYC. Oh well la-di-da. Too good for the garage, your majesty?

KENDRA WILKINSON
– had her bridal shower last night, and the whole night was like a princess in a storybook. That is to say if the princess was a drunken hussy with the worlds greatest body and a push-up bra. (16 more pics = here.  hq jump = here.  source = splash news online)

Wednesday morning headlines

By brendon June 10, 2009 @ 5:03 AM

Riley Steele, Kelly Brook

KENDRA WILKINSON -  has confirmed to E! that she’s pregnant.  Which sucks.  I should have been told in person.  The father has rights too!  (source = e! online)

IRON MAN 2 – The first picture of Mickey Rourke in Iron Man 2 has been released. Rourke plays Whiplash, and he has a suit sort of like Iron Mans, except he adds whips and takes away any protection whatsoever.  He’s unstoppable, unless he were to run into the real Iron Man, or any normal police officer with a gun, or anyone with the flu.  (source = USA Today)

KELLY BROOK – a few of these pictures we’re on here Monday, but most are new, they’re all better quality and there’s now 100 percent more naked breast (BAM).  These of course are from the set of Piranha 3D.   I don’t like when horror movies do this kind of thing, because I end up with an erection while someone gets ripped apart.   There’s no way that’s mentally healthy.  (hq jump = here)