The Sun UK now says that Kevin Federline is demanding 30 million dollars from Britney Spears, who is divorcing him after just two years of marriage.  The demands come despite explicitly clear language in the prenuptial agreement that spells out how much he is to receive, a figure believed to range between 2.5 and 4 million dollars.  All gifts, including the jewelry, the clothes, the motorcycles and the $150,000 Ferrari, go back to Britney as well.  The Sun says:

A source said: “He wants to fight Britney every step of the way because he fears she’ll take the kids away.”  K-Fed is furious Britney lodged divorce papers without warning while he was on tour to promote his album.  He is also demanding that Britney pays his legal fees and spousal support.

Kevins dumb ass better take the 2.5 and just say thank you.  If he insists on bringing up the idea of breaking the prenup, the next thing he knows he'll be wearing a cowboy outfit with a flyer in his hand, warning people not to miss the stampede of savings.



TMZ is reporting that Kevin Federline had been speaking to an attorney for over a month about divorcing Britney Spears and challenging the prenup.  They go on to say that pervious reports are mistaken, and Kevin will not get 50 percent of the value of their shared Malibu home - estimated at 10 million - but only 20 percent.  He will also not get $360,000 for one year of spousal support.  They say he will get less than $250,000.  Another erroneous report said that Kevin only learned of the divorce when he was told by Britney in a text message.  In fact, she didn't even do that, and Kevin did not learn that he was being divorced until the story broke online.  TMZ says:

…for now, Spears will not comment on K-Fed's plan to fight her for custody of their two children. We know, however, that Spears sees K-Fed's move as nothing more than an attempt to score some money. He's banking on Spears forking over dough to avoid a fight; an unlikely outcome — given the fact that she's represented by legal pit bull Laura Wasser.

The people who have read this prenup are so impressed, lawyers talk about it with such reverence, it's become a damn legend.  I think you have to battle seven curses just to go read it, and then a golden glow washes over your face when it's finally revealed.  So if Kevin thinks his dumb ass is gonna somehow find a loophole, he's even higher than we thought.  He'll almost definitely try to kill her now, but there's no way his dopey ass can pull that off.  His plans will mostly involve dynamite or getting her to stand on an X so he can drop an anvil on her head.  Don't be surprised when he shows up at the hospital next week covered in piranhas.

One of the few clauses that benefits Kevin Federline in the prenuptial agreement signed before marrying Britney Spears states that he alone gets all earnings from any photographs sold of their children, and considering the public has yet to get a look at Jayden James - their second son who was born in September - Kevin is sitting on a small fortune.  At least he would be, except Britney is now shopping pictures of the new baby for free.  WWD says:

Not only is Spears newly K-Fed-free, she is now offering photos of her second son, Jayden James, born in September — and gratis for the right magazine. Sources say Spears has sidestepped her usual go-to venue, People, which ran the first photos of the then-happy family in December. Instead, she's gunning for the prestige of a monthly or bimonthly, hoping to rehabilitate her flagging image in the TomKat/Vanity Fair mold.

Word is the final straw came this weekend after Britney waited at a restaurant (looking like this - BAM!) for Kevin, who never showed because he was out spending her money in a club with his idiot friends.  But instead of picturing that, picture Kevin poking a bear, because it's pretty much the same thing.  Now Britney's pissed.  It's actually kinda hot.  The only way she could own this jackass any more is if she rode up on a horse and threw a trident so it stabbed him in the chest.

Despite the fact that everyone who sees it walks away shaking their heads in awe, Kevin Federline has decided to fight the prenuptial agreement he signed with Britney Spears.  By all accounts, the prenup is rock solid but Kevin filed papers yesterday demanding sole custody of the children and spousal support.  A spokesman said:

"Kevin is prepared to go the distance in order to do what he feels is necessary to protect and safeguard the children and will not be intimidated or dissuaded from pursuit of those goals."

God I hope he wins.  Because we all know that's not what he wants.  I hope he gets some judge who knows who he is and isn't fooled by Kevin’s dumb ass showing up in a suit and with his hair combed and Kevin wins both kids and then like 10 grand a month, because in L.A. that's virtually the poverty level.  In a month he'll be using the baby to balance his coffee table and the one-year-old will have regressed to a feral state, growling at visitors and covered with hair.  Then Kevin will be arrested for child endangerment and that, my friends, is when the fun truly begins.

The House of Blues in Chicago is now giving away tickets to Kevin Federlines show tonight because of poor sales.  The tickets are free, one dollar if he actually shows up.  "Playing With Fire", Kevin's debut album, will enter the Billboard charts at number 151 this week, after selling just 6,485 copies.  So what's to blame for the low sales?  Is it Kevin?  No, no it can be Kevin: 

If people didn't know who I was, a couple of the records that I've thrown out would've probably blown up huge by now. It would've just come out of nowhere — people wouldn't know what to expect.

AHA!  I knew it!  I knew there had to be a rational explanation! But there is good news for Kevin, because according to Kevin, the sales are sure to pick up any minute now:

I really think this album has the potential of going from the bottom of the barrel first week to selling a million, 2 million. It really does. The industry hasn't seen that in such a long time. Everybody's so worried about first week, first week, first week — make it or break it. I'm going to tell you right now, my first week might not be shit, and they might come out and say that my album bombed, but then the second week I'm going to sell more than my first week, and the third week I'm going to sell more than my second week. That's the climb, and it's gonna happen. I already see it happening.

And if you were to make a graph of his sales, and then stand on your head, it's happening already!  It's now number 5,345 on the Amazon sales chart, after opening this time last week at number 4,143.  Which is even more amazing, because I don't think there even are 5000 albums.  Like, total.  I think there's only been like 4,000 albums since the beginning of time, and yet Kevin can't outsell any of them.  Those god damn dogs who bark Christmas carols were in the top 10 last year, and those aren't even real dogs.  I think they're just on a computer.  So Kevin made a record, and some pretend dogs made a record, and the pretend dogs whopped his ass.  Way to go Kevin.  You must be very proud.

source = Salon



If Britney doesn’t want people to think the divorce is a publicity stunt, she might wanna take off her ring.  That helps the illusion to make people think your single.  Like I do when I run my kissing booth.  God its always a disaster when idiots try to pull stuff off.

source = SPLASH