By Lex September 02, 2013 @ 1:23 PM
Even as her mom leaks like a cheaply made adult diaper to TMZ about Lamar Odom being a crack binging whore monger, sensitive daughter Khloe continues her social media therapy.
Obviously, if Khloe were made of steel, she would weigh in at 87,000 lbs. and Kris Jenner would have already sold her in the commodity pits to a Japanese ironworks conglomerate. Also, they’d have to build stronger seats at the Hometown Buffet. For his part, out of control crack addict Lamar Odom was spotted this weekend at a vegan restaurant and renting movies at Blockbuster, you know, like a total drug addict.
Here’s Khloe in crisis head to the gym in an oversized sweatshirt. Which begs the question, what size must a sweatshirt be to be oversized on Khloe?
Photo Credit: FameFlynet, WENN
By Lex August 30, 2013 @ 3:16 PM
Talk about piling on. Just when Khloe Kardashian is pushed to the limit on her limited IQ saintly caring for her maybe or maybe not drug addicted husband, Eminem comes along and drops this verse in his new single, Berserk:
“They say that love is as powerful as cough syrup and Styrofoam. All I know is I fell asleep and woke up in that Monte Carlo with the ugly Kardashian.
I don’t know if Khloe should be more offended that Eminem is calling her ugly, or the fact that the entire world is just assuming he’s talking about Khloe when he says the ugly Kardashian. Maybe he’s talking about Rob, or one of the not fully formed babies Kris buried in the backyard when she used to cheat on her husband.
Yeah, but this verse later in the song:
Lamar O, sorry, we done both set the bar low.
Wow, now I’m starting to feel sorry for the stupid Kardashian. You know who I’m talking about.
By Travis August 28, 2013 @ 10:00 AM
While her husband, Lamar Odom, was allegedly staying in a hotel room somewhere, smoking more crack than a big city mayor, and finally resurfaced in public looking like he’d been in a steam room for three weeks, Khloe Kardashian Odom was showing everyone how brave and supportive she was when she hit the gym yesterday in a pair of his socks and holding his sweater. At least everyone will call her brave, because that’s usually what happens when a famous woman goes about her daily routine after her husband does something humiliating.
Any other random woman would get, “Look at this stupid bitch pretending that he husband doesn’t smoke crack.” But with Khloe it’s more, “Hey, at least she’s not holed up in a Golden Corral.”
(Photo Credits: WENN.com)
By Lex August 26, 2013 @ 9:34 AM
You knew a response was coming to the Khloe kicking down motel room doors to find a cheating Lamar stories. Somebody has concocted the story that Lamar Odom is a crack fiend who avoided NBA drug testing by suddenly quitting the rock during the season, then hitting the pipe agains the minute the final buzzer blew. Then they leaked the story to TMZ. It’s a tale that seems to defy logic for anybody with a knowledge of crack or sports, perhaps maybe a bunch of cackling hellish hens in Calabasas? Lamar made his bed when he got into one with the big-boned girl in the coven. It’s like dating Michael Corleone’s sister, the future is full of doors that all open up to crappy endings. One day your lady is shrieking about how you can’t give her a black celebrity baby like her sisters, the next day you’re looking to spend nights with any other living female human being. Still, never go against the family, Lamar. You’re fucking toast now.
Video credit: excerpt from Putting Up with a Kardashian
By Lex August 25, 2013 @ 7:11 PM
I’d have to blame my weekend of a massive toothache and regret at how crappy my fantasy football draft went for riling up Khloe Kardashinan this weekend. This is the weekend where somebody happened to start leaking stories to TMZ about Lamar being a drug addict and Khloe trying desperately to be his savior. The perfectly crafted victim’s tale. I wonder where that shit came from? Somebody had to call her on it. The waddling China doll of a positive-messaging machine finally cracked and dropped an F-bomb on Twitter. This goes well outside her approved ‘sugarbuns and lollipops’ inspirational voice messaging tone approved by her wranglers. I’m quite certain she’s not getting oats in her stall tonight.
By Lex August 16, 2013 @ 2:19 PM
The Kris Jenner show did reasonably well in opening weeks as Kris kept insinuating that Kim and her baby would be on the show to spike interest among the bored housewives and trainables that form the core of her fan base. But since that time, ratings have been slipping as even the morons have tired of trying to count the plastic surgery rings on Kris’ face to approximate her age. Kris tried to turn things around by bringing Khloe on the show to sumo wrestle. It wasn’t really a fair fight thanks to Khloe’s eight stone weight advantage and gravity. I would have committed to a week’s worth of watching if Khloe had consumed her kill after pinning her to the ground.