Kim Kardashian Mobbed in Cuba By Up to Eleven People

May 6, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

As a sign of improved U.S. Cuban relationships, we sent the Kardashians into Havana. Fuck you for being a pain in the ass for sixty years, Cuba.

The Kardashians paraded through the streets in a Papal like motorcade blaring a message in Spanish that translates roughly to ‘capitalism will get you into this kind of pussy.’


Kim Kardashian Looks to the Future (VIDEO)

June 16, 2015 | Uncategorized | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Somebody at Glamour had the bright idea of trying to make Kim Kardashian look thoughtful. Close your eyes for a moment and think of adjectives that describe Kim Kardashian. Let me know when you get to ‘thoughtful’. I just rolled past semen-covered and confused and I’m still not even in the neighborhood of thoughtful. The video […]


Kim Kardashian Naked in GQ, No Relation to Winning GQ Woman of the Year

September 3, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Detectives don’t believe in coincidences. I’d hate to live in their cynical world. I happen to believe that Kim Kardashian winning the British GQ Woman of the Year award has nothing to do with her agreeing to take off her clothes for a Scratch n’ Sniff spread in the magazine. Hmm, smells like burnt rye […]


Kim Kardashian Book Of Selfies And Shit Around The Web

August 12, 2014 | crap around the web | Brendon| 0 Comments

Unholy stable thing Kim Kardashian has signed a deal to release a coffee table book of her selfies. The book will feature 322 pictures that this particularly vain trollop took of herself over the last couple of years. I’d say nobody is going to buy this book, but odd are you know somebody who will. […]


Kim And Paris Reunite And Shit Around The Web

August 4, 2014 | crap around the web | Brendon| 0 Comments

Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton reconciled in a bar in Ibiza after years of hating on each other. Nobody actually remembers why the two nitwits fell out in the first place, but as with any whore fight, it probably involved somebody borrowing a lice comb without permission. Read all about the reunion of the two […]


Kim Kardashian Has It All And Shit Around The Web

July 10, 2014 | crap around the web | Brendon| 0 Comments

Who is the biggest feminist icon of the 21st century? Why, Kim Kardashian, of course. She’s like Mary Tyler Moore if Mary Tyler Moore had fucked everybody at WJM to get a promotion. She really does turn her world on with a smile. Read more about Kim K’s thoughts on being a working mother that […]


Kim Kardashian Crotch On Honeymoon

June 14, 2014 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Remember when Elvis got married and all the girls sobbed and weeped and defenestrated themselves because they could no longer have their fantasy lover? Yeah, I don’t remember that either. But I’m told it happened. Those were inconsistently innocent and creepy times. Kim Kardashian wants to let whoever comes next know that even though she’s […]


Kanye West and a Kim look-a-like have a sex tape

September 21, 2012 | celebrity | Brendon| 0 Comments

It seemed a little weird when Kanye West said he didn’t mind that Kim Kardashain was in a sex tape, but not only is he okay with it, but apparently he liked it so much that he made one just like it. And now that one is for sale too. The tape is nearly 20 […]