Kim Is No Angelina And Shit Around The Web

Unctuous ass model Kim Kardashian tried to be like Angelina Jolie and adopt a poor kid from Thailand but after a few minutes of personal reflection, the kid chose third world shithole and malnourishment over a life with Kim. From the mouths of babes. Read all about Kim's... read more

Kim Kardashian In a Body Condom in Australia

Soft-brained people on all continents are buying up hundreds of millions of dollar worth of celebrity perfume. I've never in my entire life wanted to smell like anybody else. I've occasionally witnessed adult content where I've thought packing a dick the size of a viking... read more

Kim Kardashian Boobs Dine Out At Icebergs

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI [gallery id="2776"] read more

Kylie Jenner A Chip Off the Old Titty Block

If you're going for the passed around the reef mermaid look, you could do worse than Kylie Jenner's new hair extension line. Kylie stood next to her sister Kim with every indicator of a twinsies moment save for Kylie hoisting a Cali license plate I2WHORE. Outside of... read more

Kim Kardashian Naked and Unpaid, What the Fuck Happened to America?

Kim Kardashian was not paid for her Charlie McCarthy like like full frontal cover shoot for Paper Magazine since Paper Magazine is not a legitimate magazine and does not have the money to pay their cover models. Hence their willingness to put a lubed up silicon injected... read more

Kim Kardashian Nude, It's Exactly As You Didn't Imagine

I could read the part where Kim Kardashian is such a self-aware laugh riot who felt emboldened and liberated by having her Photoshopped bare ass appear in a New York rag, but in homage to Kim, I'm pretending reading is boring and hurts my head. Also, it saved me two... read more

Kim Kardashian's Kid Trying to Tell Us Something

I'm no psychologist, but I once got paid two hundred bucks for a grad student to ask me an alarmingly large number of questions about sexual attraction to inanimate objects. This $10K Hermes handbag the Belgian nannies forced North West to paint for her mom's birthday... read more

Kim Kardashian Tits Can Sell Anything

This wee porn star will go anywhere at any time for any filthy large amount of money. Long after the Apocalypse Kim will still be crisscrossing Old New York vacuuming up precious metals like a whore version of Wall-E. With the right encouragement Kim could've easily... read more

Mothers Against Whores Target Kardashians

An online petition is circulating to remove a line of Kardashian Kids clothes from Babies 'R Us. The items in question include a fake leather mini skirt with attached diaper cover and a fake fur animal print vest. The clothes are designed for children aged 0-24 months... read more

Kim Kardashian Breasts Ruin Bruce Jenner's Birthday

Why not show a man exactly what kind of woman he can never be. On his birthday no less. While Bruce Jenner toils away with the nails and the hair and the rouge and the squeezing his junk tight enough between his legs to maneuver into women's restrictive undergarments,... read more

Kim K Is The New Lucy And Shit Around The Web

Walking urinal Kim Kardashian compared her reality show to the iconicI Love Lucy 1950's sitcom. Not really compared, she claimed her show was better since it had produced more episodes. I want to get my Ricky Ricardo tux on and slap the collagen out of her lips. Read the... read more

Kim Kardashian's Tits Sells Birthday Tickets

Whenever my birthday rolled around, my parents told me I could invite two friends for ice cream and a movie, the latter of which turned out to be a View Master slideshow under a blanket. We couldn't even afford the Grand Canyon reel. It was usually just pictures of a... read more