You know you’re not supposed to even talk to Kanye. Kanye’s sphere of privacy continues on well past his Jesus-mandated zone of hearing distance and extends to his baby mama, wherever she may be. She’s like an embassy. No matter where she is, she’s Kanye soil. So when some teen in a Beverly Hills medical building calls Kim a stupid slut and a n***er lover, you know Yeezus Hulk is coming to do some smashing. Kanye found the rather impolite young man inside a chiropractor’s office and went dukes up while Kim screamed out, ‘we have it all on tape’. I’m not even sure what they have on tape. Maybe she meant Kanye banging her in the Bentley while Bruce Jenner rolled tape and dreamed of being the woman. Maybe they do have this idiot on camera mouthing his racial slurs. Unfortunately, Kanye and his bank account will soon find out that even heinous hecklers have the legal right not to be hunted down and beat up just for being verbal assholes. Also, that bit about ‘stupid slut’ might be defensible under the truth can’t be libel axiom.
Because she doesn’t seem to do much of anything else, Kim Kardashian went shopping in Beverly Hills yesterday with a friend, and that friend could have been named Hitler Stalin Satan Babyfucker III and nobody would have noticed because Kim also managed to cram her giant mom breasts into her top once again. She’s also being praised by some because she gave a valet attendant a $100 tip for retrieving her Rolls-Royce, but at the same time she was also ticketed because she literally parked that same car wherever the fuck she felt. In the end, though, we can call this one a draw, because it didn’t involve her filming her TV show or pretending that her marriage is real, so no harm, no foul, all tits.
Photo Credits: revolutionpix/WENN.com
I don’t know why the Internet world of stranglers and Lego collectors is so up in arms over Kim Kardashian ‘warping’ photos of herself and her stripper BFF, Blac Chyna to look leaner and meaner and less riddled with scabes. They both do have big tits and enormous asses that appeal to circus workers with vague backgrounds and men looking to get raped on child support for the next eighteen years. Yeah, you might notice the warped door in the backdrop. Big shocker. Everything is Photoshopped. The curtain of social media has been pulled back. Even that candid shit on Instagram and Twitter has been faked by a woman who may not even exist in real life. She could just be a lidless vagina fashioned in the ethereal manner of Sauron. Grow up, kids. There is no Santa Clause, but if there was, and he was nailing Kim Kardashian for real, she’d be a lot fatter.
(Thanks to Alexis for sending us this faked ass tip.)
Photo credit: 2 Skeeves Instagram accounts
Photo Credit: Kim Kardashian/Instagram
Kardashian hustler training begins early for the girls. The feel of precious stones in the palm of the hand during the infant years, the ability to determine the true pre-tax income of a suitor from just the taste of his bodily fluids, and, naturally, vomiting to keep trim. By the time she’s not allowed to go to kindergarten, North will be able to tell the cut, clarity, carart, and color of this stone with just a simple sniff. Convincing a drunk Kanye that her vagina was actually her ass was just step one for Kim Kardashian’s diabolical progeny plan. Now the real training begins. The whore grows strong in this one.
Photo credit: Kim Kardashian/Instagram