By Lex December 02, 2014 @ 12:34 PM
With so much riding on current U.S. armed forces forward positioning in the Middle East, it only made sense to dispatch Kim Kardashian dressed like somebody her stylist saw in an old USO magazine to Abu Dahbi to assess our military state of readiness. Kim toured Persian Gulf region arsenal and met with soldiers each of whom she promised could cream pie her enormous bunghole if they destroyed ISIS and went on to become multi-millionaire recording artists with enormous black dicks. Kim homaged Jane Fonda by straddling a large Howitzer barrel but she did it at night when nobody was looking leaving just a smudge of herpetic goo and desert flies for the field artillery mechanics to sniff out after Reveille.
Photo Credit: Instagram/AKM-GSI
By Jack November 21, 2014 @ 12:00 PM
Kim Kardashian said she will be proud when North West inevitably also poses nude. She also said she has a bunch of other hopes for her daughter, but who honestly pays attention once a mom says she can’t wait for her toddler to get naked for the cameras.
Read all about Kim’s wonderful parenting. (The Superficial)
Iggy Azalea is not impressed by Eminem’s rape threats. (TMZ)
Hey, wanna see Christina Milian’s nipple? (Drunken Stepfather)
Alena Blohm is ja gooden frau in lingerie. (Hollywood Tuna)
Jehane Gigi Paris does it again in these smoking hot bikini pics. (Popoholic)
Giada De Laurentiis doesn’t swallow. (Dlisted)
Old busted ass Mickey Rourke is going back to boxing. (MoviePilot)
By Jack November 20, 2014 @ 12:00 PM
Unctuous ass model Kim Kardashian tried to be like Angelina Jolie and adopt a poor kid from Thailand but after a few minutes of personal reflection, the kid chose third world shithole and malnourishment over a life with Kim. From the mouths of babes.
Read all about Kim’s motherhood rejection. (The Superficial)
Motherfucking Jose Canseco was lying about his finger falling off. (TMZ)
Luci Ford wears a see-through bra and it’s marvelous. (Drunken Stepfather)
Cameron Russell wears lingerie like a fucking champ. (Hollywood Tuna)
Shailene Woodley is a shitty actress but she’s got nice legs. (Popoholic)
ABC fears Jennifer Lopez and Iggy Azalea’s asses. (Dlisted)
I’d let tennis champ Taylor Lederman play with my balls any day. (Busted Coverage)
By Lex November 18, 2014 @ 9:30 AM
Soft-brained people on all continents are buying up hundreds of millions of dollar worth of celebrity perfume. I’ve never in my entire life wanted to smell like anybody else. I’ve occasionally witnessed adult content where I’ve thought packing a dick the size of a viking broad sword might be kind of groovy, but I never wanted to arrive at a venue and smile confidently as people told me I reeked of beef sweat and Caverject. Women delve into the single white female mimic fantasy far deeper. Buying into the products of a borderline moronic midget squeezed so tightly in latex her herpes sores were oozing beneath her gown. If it makes you feel good, fuck it, buy it, spritz it, and sit on your couch chunking nutella until your fabulous life arrives. Kim wins, you lose, but who is really the winner? Nope, still Kim.
Photo Credit: AKM-GSI
By Lex November 14, 2014 @ 10:00 AM
If you’re going for the passed around the reef mermaid look, you could do worse than Kylie Jenner’s new hair extension line. Kylie stood next to her sister Kim with every indicator of a twinsies moment save for Kylie hoisting a Cali license plate I2WHORE. Outside of cancer patients and background dancers for Christina Aguilera, I’m not sure why hair extensions exist. I understand tit jobs, but I’m not sure many rich dudes are looking at artificial hair and thinking, fuck, I’d like to empty my back account for that long tressed babe. If only Kylie had stuck with school past the seventh grade. She could at least have a working knowledge of how her mother was misappropriating her paychecks.
Photo Credit: AKM-GSI