Or so her sister Khloe would have you believe. Khloe finds it ‘disgusting’ how people are rudely focused on Kim’s blowing up since pregnant. Somewhat conveniently, Khloe doesn’t find it so disgusting to expose the intimacies of herself, her husband, her sisters, little half-sisters, babies, friends, and innocent bystanders on TV in order to turn a buck. The Kardashians can also fake that all for cash too. So I guess what Khloe’s really saying is that it’s disgusting to make fun of her sister for free, but if you’ve got an Amex Black, you can donkey punch Kim while calling her the Hindenburg. It’s all good, so long as your card clears.
Rapper Ray J is famous because he made a really boring sex tape with Kim Kardashian before anybody knew who she was, but while Kim went on to create a reality TV empire, Ray J is still just that dude who had sex with Kim Kardashian. Apparently that’s changing, though, because Ray J will soon star as the host of Oxygen’s Bad Girls Club All-Star Battle, and I wouldn’t have known that unless he Tweeted the above image for his new single “I Hit it First”.
The pixelated image is a callback to this picture of Kim, and the title is obviously a shot at her boyfriend and baby daddy, Kanye West. Some people have called this a bold marketing move by Ray J, but it’s been 6 years since he had sex with Kim and she’s been dating Kanye for as long as she’s been waiting to finalize her divorce from Kris Humphries. So call it what it is – some dude with a new TV show saying, “Hey everyone, look at me!”
In the good old days of rap, Ray J’s body would have been found in a dumpster 2 minutes after that picture hit the web, but knowing Kanye, he’ll probably respond by making his own sex tape with Kim during a concert for Obama at Madison Square Garden. Hell, I’d watch.
In a new interview with The Hollywood Reporter, Olympic gold medalist swimmer Ryan Lochte spills the beans on his hopes and dreams, as the star of E!’s new reality series, What Would Ryan Lochte Do?, wants everyone in America to accept him as an entertainment icon.
Having previously admitted that he wants to be an actor and a world class movie star, it turns out that the guy who trademarked the made up word “JEAH” is following in the footsteps of one very special celebrity.
Ryan Lochte knows exactly what he wants. He wants to be Kim Kardashian — and isn’t ashamed to admit it.
“Kim started from pretty much nothing, and now everyone everywhere knows who she is,” he says. “That’s what I want to do.”
Technically, Kim started from a lot of money. Then she built herself up with a sex tape and rode that to collecting Kanye West’s sperm in her womb to lock down half of his fortune and an infinite TV deal. Lochte, despite his lack of charisma, personality and acting talent, actually achieved fame because he was good at something, in this case swimming.
So if he really wants to be a famous actor or even just a beloved reality TV star, he should pave his own path and defy the odds that we’ve stacked against him. That is, unless he wants to make a sex tape with Kate Upton, in which case we’d probably watch that.
I remember a day not so long ago when people would say, ‘Sure, Kim Kardashian is a soul-less conniving Succubus who needs to be stricken form this planet like polio or that French Stewart guy, BUT, she’s still hot and I’d do her.’ Now what? Outside of the few of you who like to go turtling with the billowing neck BBWs, what’s left in the Kim Kardashian apologist tank? She did suddenly find religion after her martial scam was publicly exposed, she spent four hours on the ground in Haiti throwing faux pearls to the hungry peasant children, and she does inspire with the cliche Tweets about being the best you can be and ignoring haters. But that isn’t much. It’s truly time for Kim to go. I doubt such a large object could simply fade into the sunset, so maybe a push out to sea, another floating Pacific Garbage Patch for strident pamphleteers to assault you about outside head shops.
Photo Credit: Splash, Fameflynet
Pregnant sex tape star Kim Kardashian was a guest on The Tonight Show last Thursday, presumably so she and Jay Leno could laugh about how wealthy they are despite being loathed by everyone. But while she was yapping away about her new maternity clothing line or how she tricked Tyler Perry into paying her to act, her younger sisters, Kylie and Kendall Jenner, were defending her against hypothetical mean people.
Asked about the critics who’ve had nasty things to say about Kim’s body, Kylie began, “It pisses me off when people say, ‘You’re so fat,’ to Kim.”
“If you like it, and you feel good…” Kendall interjected.
“I’m like, ‘Are you dumb?’” wondered Kylie.
“She’s pregnant, people,” Kendall said, to which Kylie added, “I don’t get it.” (E!)
Well, it’s pretty simple. Your older sister is married to one guy, but she’s having sex with a different guy and that second guy didn’t wear a condom before he climaxed inside her womb, so she’s pregnant now.
Oh you mean you don’t get why people call Kim fat. My mistake. That’s simple, too. It’s because she has a gigantic ass.
(Photo Credit: Getty)
Over the weekend, Ford officials responded to a really stupid decision by an advertising agency in India to give the Kardashian sisters a little dab of rape culture by basically admitting that the automobile manufacturer doesn’t review its ads before they hit the streets. JWT India’s recent posters for the Ford Figo showed Kim, Khloe and Kourtney Kardashian bound and gagged in the back of Paris Hilton’s car, as if the irrelevant former reality star would be seen driving a tiny car or could handle Khloe’s retard strength by herself.
Needless to say, Kris Jenner and the Kim Kardashian Moneymaking Experience weren’t going to just let this one fly by, so they released their own response, and it’s as litigious as you’d expect from a family that sold a fake wedding to E! for $17 million.
“The ‘leave your worries behind’ Ford ads are disgusting, vile and offensive to all women,” a Kardashian attorney told “omg! Insider.” “It is unacceptable that Ford would align itself with an ad agency that would so carelessly release these ads. The Kardashians do not take this lightly and they are exploring all of their legal options.” (Yahoo!)
If anyone knows what is disgusting, vile and offensive to all women, it’s the women who became famous because one of them made an amateur porn movie that was basically directed by her own mom. And it’s the women who challenge each other to pussy-smelling contests by rubbing napkins on their vaginas. And it’s the women who… just go ahead and insert anything else they’ve ever done here, because it’s all equally horrible.
(Photo Credits: Getty)