Kanye Believes He and Kim Are More Important Than the Obamas

Kanye West is having another bout of saying shit that makes sense in his world. This time he's claiming that the Blessed He and Kim are more influential than President Obama and his wife Michelle. It all went down when the megalomaniacal semi-decent rapper sat down with fancy lad Ryan Seacrest for an interview. According to Kanye, he and Kim are pushing down the barriers of racism and classicism through fashion. That...read more

Kardashians Rent Out Magic Mountain Just For Themselves (VIDEO)

Last week the reality family took over AT&T Park to formalize the procreation process between Kim and Kanye, now Magic Mountain theme park just north of Los Angeles to celebrate Kendall's 18th birthday. The place can run about 25,000 visitors on a good day. On a trashy night, about ten Kardashians plus Justin Bieber's friend Lil Twist who was passed out on the floor of one of the family Range Rovers....read more

Kim Kardashian Thinks About Her Snatch More Than You Do

Kim Kardashian is different than most moms in that her main concern after giving birth was what her pussy looked like. This revelation and many more is on the premiere episode of her show for the catatonic and mildly retarded,Keeping Up With The Kardashians. After "heartfelt" scenes in which Kim sends a message to her newborn daughter, we return to making it all about Kim, or more accurately, her vagina. She told...read more

Kim Kardashian Says Wedding Proposal Was an Out of Body Experience

Kris Jenner always told her girls, when men do horrible things with you, just pretend it's happening to somebody else and you're watching it. I think she learned this from survivors of the Hanoi Hilton she used to dance with for a dollar at the VA. Khloe never got it. She's too sensitive. But Kim is able to step outside her body and just watch the money being made with her body. She said she felt just this way at...read more

Kim Kardashian Shows Off Ass and Bling

In case you forgot, Kanye gave Kim a fifteen carat ring at a rented out AT&T Park the other night to symbolize his limitless love for making ass-babies with her. The proposal was captured on videotape so it could be projected in Al Quaeda recruiting sessions overseas showing why America is the Great Satan. If all you knew of America as a street urchin in Yemen was Katy Perry bootleg CDs and watching Kris Jenner...read more

Kanye West Doesn't Want A Prenup

According to sources near Kanye West he does not want to get a prenup before marrying Kim Kardashian.It seems that in the delirium of love that he feels for that big assed schemer, he's choosing to ignore the wise prenup advice in his ownsong,Gold Digger. "Kanye's in love with Kim to the point of infatuation. It's scary because the love is so powerful, Kanye doesn't even want to have a prenup. He thinks it's tacky and...read more

Kanye West Finally Proposed To Kim Kardashian

Kim Kardashian celebrated her 33rd birthday yesterday just like any of us would, as she attended a party thrown in her honor at AT&T Park in San Francisco, which had been completely rented out by her boyfriend Kanye West for the evening. Kanye actually started the night off by honoring 12 Years a Slave director Steve McQueen at the Hollywood Film Awards, but he made it back in time to not only celebrate Kim's...read more

No Star On The Hollywood Walk Of Fame For You, Kim Kardashian!

Kim Kardashian won't be getting a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame anytime in the near future. That's because the Hollywood Chamber of Commerce, who decides who gets a star, says that her big ass isn't eligible for immortality. Why? Because she's a fucking reality star, that's why! They don't deserve to be on the same sidewalk with Marlon Brando or Meryl Streep, or, you know, Ryan Seacrest, who at least has an Emmy...read more

Kim Kardashian's Ass Is Back To Pre-Baby Size

By the time that North West is old enough to be exploited for her gender and not just her youthful innocence, social media will probably have advanced far beyond the Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, etc. that we know today. But someone will eventually explain to North that her mother, Kim Kardashian, rose to fame by recording herself having sex with Ray J and posting "sexy" pictures of herself online, like this one that...read more

Kris Humphires Sells Kim Kardashian's Bling

Kris Humphires decided to unload the diamond ring he once gave Kim Kardashian for their fake TV marriage. The 16-karat ring was sold at Christie's auction house for $749,000 to a mysterious buyer calling in a phone bid. My guess is that it was Kanye. He's going to set the diamond in the tip of a big dildo and bang naughty groupies with it while relaying the story about how he stole Kim Kardashian away from her husband...read more

Kim Kardashian Credits Atkins For Making Her Look Like a Porn Star Again

Nobody wants to pay a Fat Kim Kardashian. Fat Jessica Simpson may still be making a few hundred million selling her discount retail junk, but no Arab prince is going to hand over six rubies to jizz in the eye of a Fat Kim Kardashian. So Kim started the Atkins diet as soon as doctors told her it would be medically safe for the staff raising her baby. Kim's had to learn to restructure her diet away from favorite carbs...read more

Stop Looking At Kim Kardashian

Kim Kardashian's planned disguise of looking just like Kim Kardashian in Kim Kardashian's G-Class Benz failed as she attempted one of her first rides out with her bastard baby. Kim recently returned from Paris, finding being away from the ladies who give her reports about her baby to be very emotionally challenging. So, it's bonding time. Which in the Kardashian family means take your baby to a paid photoshoot....read more

Kris Jenner Says Kanye Is the Best Ever

Mother of the year Kris Jenner says that Kanye West is a great baby daddy to her sex star daughter. In an interview on the gaynoxious Hello Ross show, Jenner described what a loving and wonderful person Kanye is. I'm not sure if she knows a different Kanye because the guy she's talking about doesn't sound like the egomaniacal butthole we all know and despise. Jenner says, "I love him so much and he's such an amazing...read more

Welcome Back, Kim Kardashian's Giant Breasts

As Kim Kardashian continues to reconnect with all of her friends in the fashion industry at the Paris Fashion Week events, she's also doing her best to make sure nobody talks about how she still looks pretty large after giving birth. Her method of choice? By shoving her gigantic mommy breasts in our faces and shaking them until our eyes pop out. It's a pretty strong tactic, because I was originally sitting here,...read more

Kim Kardashian Shows Off Her Boob in Paris

Kim Kardashian wanted everyone at Paris Fashion Week to know that her genetic destiny to be a plump Armenian matron remains at bay for now. Her strict diet of amphetamines and chewing on her worn shoes before she mails them off to her fetish fans for thousands of dollars is starting to work, but she needs more time. Flashing a little tit helped everybody ignore her obvious large midsection for at least one more day....read more