Kanye Pre-Apologizes Again

Kanye's new album is chock full of bravadolyrics about his conquests and power and the way his shoes always go perfectly with whatever outfit he chooses for the evening. None of this exaggeratedbragging makes much sense to people not in the rap community who generally grew up urban poor and now put each other down based on 1040 net income lines. It seem perhaps less authenticwhen spat out by a down low dude in...read more

Kardashian Nipples Take Manhattan

Combine the archetypal male fantasy of midget whores with giant potato head babies crowning through rapper creampied vaginas and you have my attention. Magic like this doesn't happen in a vacuum. There are teams of assistants providing hair and wardrobe and STD blister mitigation support. Then and only then can you say, I was there when Cloverfield revealed itself. I remember four tits and the smell of an uncleaned...read more

Yeezy Ass-Gate Is Over

If you're ever in battle with Kanye West, go forthwith to the anal play charges. Chink in armor noted, rapping Smaug. The master of ego-centric promotion and legend in his own time mythology folded like a very gay deck of cards in his battle with Wiz Khalifia and by extension Amber Rose the minute the latter mentioned Kanye's proclivity for bottom play in the bedroom. Fingers up the butt was the opening salvo....read more

Amber Rose And Kim K Have A Slut Summit And Shit Around The Web

Amber Rose and Kim Kardashian had a clandestine meeting of women who've fingered Kanye's butthole to settle the fight between the two. Amber and Kanye got into a big Twitter war over some bullshit with Wiz Khalifa. I'm sure it was a real meeting of the minds. They even took a selfie to commemorate the occasion. Aw. It must be hard to talk to someone who once gargled your husband's man yogurt. (TMZ) Daisy Lowe wears a...read more

Kanye Names His Kid Saint And Shit Around The Web

As expected, Kanye West and Kim Kardashian gave their latest vagina troll an equally stupid name as North West. They named the future celebutard Saint West, which is stupid because everyone knows that's a girl's name. Read more about the second coming of Yeezus. (TMZ) Why front, here's Irina Shayk using her ass to sell lotion. (Last Men On Earth) Stock your stuffing with some topless Lucy Pinder playing cards. (...read more

Kim Kardashian See Through to the Chops

It's unclear if Kim Kardashian is using her hand to be demure, or to prop up the heavy head of her ass baby. This is the danger in having yes-men running your wardrobe team. You need at least one courageous gay dude to stand up and say, I can see your fucking fetus in that dress. You're not a Filipina hooker, you're KimK Super Fucking Star! Blowjobs behind the Henry Moore landscapes. This fancy building doesn't pay...read more

Kim Kardashian Invited Strangers to Hang Out

Decipheringa Kardashian public relations event takes several layers of investigation, followed by an antibiotic cycle and a six molar bleach bath. According to their press release, Kim Kardashian flew inevery single "fan"she follows on social media to her birthday luncheon. She has sixty million followers. She follows about ten of them which kept her bill at the Four Seasons semi-reasonable. The fans came from all...read more

Kardashian Love Saves Lammy

The good news, you're alive. The bad news, you're still married to Khloe Kardashian and she's gnawing the dried remains of hooker girl juice off your right thigh. Lamar Odom regained consciousness in his Vegas hospital thanks to the adrenaline needle Kris Jenner plunged into his heart when E! producers chided that the Odom coma shots were super boring. The Kardashian family jetted back and forth between parties and...read more

Kim Kardashian Topless Tittery Now on Sale

There's two ways to look at the Kardashians. One is drunk and fapping to their squat fat naked whorish frames. That's my usual. The second is to admire their sheer brassy money making balls tucked deep enough into their collective bank account that you have to call them them the raping railroad barons of the 21st century. Still, I go with the whacking. The Kardashian and Jenner girls have teamed up with a web...read more

Miley Cyrus Topless On Facetime

Miley Cyrus is overachieving. Like Rudy, if everybody agreed they would fuck Rudy if nobody else would ever find out. She can't sing, but she's a multi-platinum recording artist. She's not sexy, but she's become the go-to girl on sexuality. Her tits wouldn't make first round cuts as minor league hockey ice girl, but she's using them to make herself the top searched name on Google. There have been inexplicable one hit...read more

Kim Kardashian Still Naked, Finally Punished

Kim Kardashian has been shilling some morning sickness pill in her vapid social media posts, leading the Food and Drug Administration to step in and tell her to stop doing it and also you're spreading a new strain of syphilis to ISIS. It's called the Geneva Convention.The posts are apparently in violation because they don't mention the side effects of the drugs or of listening to Kim's thoughts: "I tried changing...read more

Kim Kardashian Pregnant, Naked, Alone

Kim Kardashian responded to imaginary critics of her pregnant body by posting naked photos of herself. It's reflexive. The last time her mechanic told her she needed an oil change, she fucked seven guys at three different Jiffy Lubes. Jaime King cried and threatened to drive her newborn off a cliff. Kris Jenner distributed the nude pregnancy pictures to emirs in Dubai for a tribute contest. In the game of ridiculous...read more

Kim Kardashian Bursting With Pride

Kim Kardashian is pregnant with another person whose life expectancy is 37. You can only be a shitty moron once removed. Plus they're developing new pills. Apparently when you get pregnant your tits get really big and swollen which in no way compensates for your distended gut. Are you craving ice cream because of the hormones or because society has declared you're allowed to? I'll say it, you're taking advantage. Had...read more

Kylie Jenner Graduation Party Hosted By Ryan Seacrest

Ryan Seacrest hosted a high school graduation party for Kylie Jennerwhere he pretended heliked girlsand Kylie pretended Laurel Springs is a real place. Laurel Springs High School diplomasare the Hollywood equivalent of becoming a Universal Life Church minister so you can marry your buddy to his girlfriend in Laughlin before the baby shows. Only instead of fifteen bucks and a valid email address this one requires...read more

Kim Kardashian Morning Rituals

Kim Kardashian crawling out of a ditch is a reminder of just how poor serial killers have become at finishing off their truck stop prey. Nobody takes pride in their work anymore. It's possible the scent of money brought her back from the great whore beyond. It's like watching our primordial ancestors first take to land. In six months this will be Bruce exiting the same ditch in similar wardrobe. That dent in my head...read more