Never Go Against the Family

MediaTakeOut made its bones by publishing many of the early hacked celebrity email and text nudes before Scarlett Johansson and Jennifer Lawrence muscled the FBI into the equation and made re-posting that shit plain suicidal. The Feds are one thing. The Kardashian legal... read more

Outrage Over Updated Kim Kardashian Halloween Costume

Internet outrage, as infinite as the stars in the universe, has turned its attention on an online costume company that every year puts out a controversial title of two to garner simplistic media attention. Fuck, guilty. read more

Kim Kardashian's Hotel Concierge Pens an Open Letter

Kim Kardashian has previously implied that the dude who ran the front desk at her high-end Parisian hideaway was either involved in the robbery of her crown jewels and multiple iPhones, rendering her unable to post selfies. read more

Kim Kardashian Taking the Heat

Kim Kardashian remain in torment, agony, and a safe room made entirely of fudge and cum ripple while recovering from her Paris armed robbery. According to sources who are almost certainly Kim's public relations team, Kardashian feels responsible for the marauders stealing... read more

Jury's Still Out On Kim Kardashian Robbery

Most people's first reaction upon hearing Kim Kardashian was bound and gagged and robbed in Paris was this is obvious bullshit. Also, history please don't judge us incorrectly, we weren't all into fat chicks. read more

Kim Kardashian Held Up At Gunpoint, Kanye Drops the Mic (VIDEO)

Kim Kardashian was held up at gunpoint in her French hotel room. Two men posing as police busted into her suite waving guns and presumably asking for money and jewels. Big score. Way too ruin Fashion Week, fuckers. read more

Rob Kardashian Had Romantic Feelings For His Sister

Nobody sinks with class anymore. Playboy magazine, defeated politicians, The Cleveland Browns. Add to that list Still Fat Rob Kardashian who at or around thirty with ten years of protesting his family's lewd on-camera business behind him, has now sunk his teeth fully into... read more

Vitalli Sediuk Strikes Kim Kardashian's Ass With His Lips

Ukrainian prankster slash physically assaultive douchebag in an ironic hat, Vitali Sediuk, struck the ass of Kim Kardashian with his bare lips during her visit to Paris today. The lack of use of a dental dam or other prophylactic could be used in court as an insanity... read more

The Game Announces Which Kardashians He Fucked

If you had Bruce Jenner in the cum pool of Kardashians the rapper The Game claims to have fucked, you lost. I just tore up my brackets. The Game recently sent people who didn't know The Kardashians were a huge whoring family into a tizzy when he rapped on a DJ Khaled... read more

Kim Kardashain Pushing Her Tits and Armenian Genocide

Kim Kardashian is pissed that the Wall Street Journal let a Pro-Turkic Armenian Genocide denying organization take out a full page ad in its papers this past April. She responded with a full page ad in the New York Times re-confirming the genocide. read more

Kim Kardashian Tits Behind Her Husband

There's something to be said for a woman who shows up at her husband's place of work showing off her tits in a see-through dress. That thing is, which one of you bastards is fucking my wife? Just kidding. Gay husbands don't get jealous. Also, they know how the throw... read more

Kim Kardashian Comes Partial Ass Clean

After ten years of being dogged about ass injections, Kim Kardashian has admitted to taking needles in her butt cheeks. Though she claims the injections are entirely a medical necessity to treat her psoriasis. Kardashian often refers to psoriasis as her biggest flaw to... read more