Kim Kardashian's Make Up Artist Twin Feeds from Her Implants

If breastfeeding your baby is the new Joan of Arc level of heroism, then nursing twins from lactating glands above your silicone breasts implants is something akin to Mother Theresa, if she also wore low cut tops and caught by-product semen splash from her boss' male... read more

Kim Kardashian Stiffs Jesus (VIDEO)

This Love Advent calendar production program isn't that complicated. You pick a kitschy song and dance around in your panties with your tits on the edge of falling out of your bra. Somehow Kim Kardashian fucked hers up. read more

Kardashians Rise Above

When tragedy inevitably strikes their menfolk, the Kardashian women rise to the occasion by moving on with work and doctoring legal letters to financially benefit from the underlying trauma. read more

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The Kanye Thing Starting To Make Sense

Contrary to popular belief, you can be mentally ill and a huge asshole. Meaning, you don't get to walk around acting like a major cunt and blame it on your illness. Some schizophrenics think the clouds are cartoons. Others stab strangers in the subway station. Those ones... read more

Kim Kardashian On 60 Minutes and Stage Parents Hustling Their Kids on The Last Men on Earth Podcast #65

On this week's Last Men on Earth podcast we delve into the racial bias suit genius of Byron Allen, wonder why Hillary supporters won't concede they only like her because she's a woman, discuss how men should behave at costume parties, wonder if perhaps Subway Jared's wife... read more

Never Go Against the Family

MediaTakeOut made its bones by publishing many of the early hacked celebrity email and text nudes before Scarlett Johansson and Jennifer Lawrence muscled the FBI into the equation and made re-posting that shit plain suicidal. The Feds are one thing. The Kardashian legal... read more

Outrage Over Updated Kim Kardashian Halloween Costume

Internet outrage, as infinite as the stars in the universe, has turned its attention on an online costume company that every year puts out a controversial title of two to garner simplistic media attention. Fuck, guilty. read more

Kim Kardashian's Hotel Concierge Pens an Open Letter

Kim Kardashian has previously implied that the dude who ran the front desk at her high-end Parisian hideaway was either involved in the robbery of her crown jewels and multiple iPhones, rendering her unable to post selfies. read more

Kim Kardashian Taking the Heat

Kim Kardashian remain in torment, agony, and a safe room made entirely of fudge and cum ripple while recovering from her Paris armed robbery. According to sources who are almost certainly Kim's public relations team, Kardashian feels responsible for the marauders stealing... read more

Jury's Still Out On Kim Kardashian Robbery

Most people's first reaction upon hearing Kim Kardashian was bound and gagged and robbed in Paris was this is obvious bullshit. Also, history please don't judge us incorrectly, we weren't all into fat chicks. read more

Kim Kardashian Held Up At Gunpoint, Kanye Drops the Mic (VIDEO)

Kim Kardashian was held up at gunpoint in her French hotel room. Two men posing as police busted into her suite waving guns and presumably asking for money and jewels. Big score. Way too ruin Fashion Week, fuckers. read more

Rob Kardashian Had Romantic Feelings For His Sister

Nobody sinks with class anymore. Playboy magazine, defeated politicians, The Cleveland Browns. Add to that list Still Fat Rob Kardashian who at or around thirty with ten years of protesting his family's lewd on-camera business behind him, has now sunk his teeth fully into... read more