Kim Kardashian Gets Bloody Money Shot

If this were a fill in the blanket contest and you heard, 'Kim Kardashian just got sprayed in the face with _________', the word 'blood' probably wouldn't come to mind. It came up number seven on my own list, well after jizz, Khloe shat, kumquat juice, AstroGlide, small foreign coins, and Kanye punches. Still, it happened. Because in a desperate attempt to cover up the fact that the Kim Death Star is now nearly the...

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Is It Time to Send Kim to the Squeezing Room Yet?

Filled with her bastard baby, the future fatty and soon forgotten Kim Kardashian has been shaking off rumors that she plans to sell off her future baby conceived through sweaty butt sex with Kanye West (a double miracle of conception as it was Kim who was plugging Kanye up the ass). We started those rumors, so I think you can call them dubious at best. By the time Kim gets to divorce trial in May with the NBA baller...

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Kim Kardashian Sex Tape Almost Lost in Fire

According to Steve Hirsch, the guy who runs Vivid, which own the rights to the Kim K Superstar sex tape featuring Kim Kardashian when she was young and less smart about getting paid upfront for sex, there was a fire in his office over the weekend and the safe containing the master copy of Kim K Superstar nearly burned up. Thankfully, while the safe singed, the contents were safe. So you can still order new copies of...

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Kim Kardashian Had Sex On Camera. Again.

"If it ain't broke, don't fix it." - Kris Jenner, applying lube to Kanye [gallery ids="1223422,1223192,1223142,1223072,1223092,1223032,1223122,1223052,1223062,1223112,1223182,1223172,1223162,1223152,1223132,1223102,1223082,1223042,1223022,1223012"] Image Source - Splash News, WENN

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Kim Kardashian looks different somehow

Kim Kardashian took a well deserved break from shopping in front of the paparazzi to go shopping in front of the paparazzi yesterday. She lives her life with such a noble simplicity and sedate grandeur, I bet Keats wishes he was still alive so she could be his muse. [gallery id="6300"]

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Kris Jenner used to beat Kim Kardashian

In handwritten diaries by the late Robert Kardashian, father of at least Kim and Kourtney Kardashian, he wrote that his ex wife Kris Jenner would physically abuse and threaten her children, which in hindsight really does seem like something Kris Jenner would do. In the journal entries, dated throughout 1989 and 1990, Robert paints a heartbreaking childhood portrait of Kim, Kourtney and Khloé and a damning picture of...

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Kim Kardashian is working out to not gain weight while pregnant.

Kim Kardashian has been eating for two lately, which is a statement that could have been made at any point during the past 5 years. But now she's actually pregnant, and eating even more than usual, then working out really hard so she doesn't gain weight because she clearly has no idea how pregnancy works. Hollywood Life says... "She is just craving so many sweets now, like pies and ice cream. She is working out a lot...

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Kim Kardashian wont sell pictures of her baby (except for more money)

It was very much out of character when Kim Kardashian reportedly turned down 3 million dollars for the first pictures of the baby she's having with Kanye West, but very much in character now that it seems she did so because she's holding out for more money. ...the longer they wait the better, becauseKris Jenner has it all under control! "Kris instructed Kim and Kanye to NOT sell photos of their baby for a mere $3...

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suck it in Kim Kardashian

Kim Kardashian walked around Miami today in a shirt so short and a skirt so tight that it pushed her fat out as if she were a stress ball, which is maybe not the kind of thing you should wear if you're a mean selfish bitch that people are just aching to make fun of. (image source of kim in miami today = fame/flynet, inf) [gallery id="6367"]

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Kim Kardashian took pictures at the Marine Corps Ball, then left

Some people were impressed when Kim Kardashian agreed to go with Sgt. Martin Gardner as his date to the 10th annual Marine Corps Ball in North Carolina last night, but those people are idiots because (unlike when Mila Kunis went) it was a completely selfish act for publicity. Kim only went to have pictures taken. According to the photo agency, these pictures were taken at 7:01, and she was gone by 9:04. Even Justin...

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Kim Kardashian is husky Catwoman, Kanye is Alpine Batman

In the comics and movies, Catwoman is basically a gymnast who knows how to kick and punch people and she sneaks around stealing stuff in the sexiest way possible. At Kim Kardashians Halloween party in Miami last night, Catwoman was a 200 pound lump whose only superpower is her ability to turn a penis red and flaky. Your mask is useless against that, Germaphobic Batman. (image source = inf, splash) [gallery id="6433"]

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Kim Kardashian is see-through, full figured

Kim Kardashians big square ass was on full display yesterday when she wore a see-through skirt to go to dinner with Kanye west in Miami yesterday. There should be a law that makes people like Winona Ryder and Lindsay Lohan wear see-through clothes everywhere, all the time, so we can tell if they're stealing. But it's only for girls with good bodies. I would have just taken Kims word on it. (image source = pacific...

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Kanye and Kim are "cooling off"

It's only a matter of time before Kanye West gets tired of Kim Kardasahian, because Kim Kardashian sucks, but is it happening already? "Um. Maybe," says Page Six. While Kim is in Miami to film her family reality show, Kanye has been living it up at Paris fashion week, even though he isn't showing his clothing line there. On Sunday he was at a party hosted by Diane von Furstenberg and Olivier Zahm to celebrate the 20th...

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Kim Kardashian is too fat for her dress, part 2

First of all, holy shit look at the way Kris Jenner is leaning into Kim, practically pushing her back to make sure she's in every picture. Kris Jenner is fucking insane. Anyway. For the second time in three months (flashback!), Kim Kardashian has had the zipper running up the back of her dress break. Either because of poor workmanship (no) or because she's fat (yes). "What a poorly made dress," Kim will no doubt...

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Kim spent some quiet time with Kourtney, the media

The photo agency says that Kim and Kourtney Kardashian went to the beach in Miami today "for some sisterly bonding", which of course means in full hair and makeup in front of a camera and film crew. Kims tits looked great of course (god help me I love girls with big tits), but her outfit was weird. Her ass is too big to wear white and play in the ocean; it feels like there should also be pictures of her dancing and...

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