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Kim Kardashian took pictures at the Marine Corps Ball, then left

Some people were impressed when Kim Kardashian agreed to go with Sgt. Martin Gardner as his date to the 10th annual Marine Corps Ball in North Carolina last night, but those people are idiots because (unlike when Mila Kunis went) it was a completely selfish act for publicity. Kim only went to have pictures taken. According to the photo agency, these pictures were taken at 7:01, and she was gone by 9:04. Even Justin...read more

Kim Kardashian is husky Catwoman, Kanye is Alpine Batman

In the comics and movies, Catwoman is basically a gymnast who knows how to kick and punch people and she sneaks around stealing stuff in the sexiest way possible. At Kim Kardashians Halloween party in Miami last night, Catwoman was a 200 pound lump whose only superpower is her ability to turn a penis red and flaky. Your mask is useless against that, Germaphobic Batman. (image source = inf, splash)read more

Kim Kardashian is see-through, full figured

Kim Kardashians big square ass was on full display yesterday when she wore a see-through skirt to go to dinner with Kanye west in Miami yesterday. There should be a law that makes people like Winona Ryder and Lindsay Lohan wear see-through clothes everywhere, all the time, so we can tell if they're stealing. But it's only for girls with good bodies. I would have just taken Kims word on it. (image source = pacific...read more

Kanye and Kim are "cooling off"

It's only a matter of time before Kanye West gets tired of Kim Kardasahian, because Kim Kardashian sucks, but is it happening already? "Um. Maybe," says Page Six. While Kim is in Miami to film her family reality show, Kanye has been living it up at Paris fashion week, even though he isn't showing his clothing line there. On Sunday he was at a party hosted by Diane von Furstenberg and Olivier Zahm to celebrate the 20th...read more

Kim Kardashian is too fat for her dress, part 2

First of all, holy shit look at the way Kris Jenner is leaning into Kim, practically pushing her back to make sure she's in every picture. Kris Jenner is fucking insane. Anyway. For the second time in three months (flashback!), Kim Kardashian has had the zipper running up the back of her dress break. Either because of poor workmanship (no) or because she's fat (yes). "What a poorly made dress," Kim will no doubt...read more

Kim spent some quiet time with Kourtney, the media

The photo agency says that Kim and Kourtney Kardashian went to the beach in Miami today "for some sisterly bonding", which of course means in full hair and makeup in front of a camera and film crew. Kims tits looked great of course (god help me I love girls with big tits), but her outfit was weird. Her ass is too big to wear white and play in the ocean; it feels like there should also be pictures of her dancing and...read more

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this (or Kim Kardashian) is the girl in Kanyes sex tape

There are so many conflicting reports about the Kanye West sex tape that it's hard to even keep up, especially since I don't want to keep up because I'd rather picture my grandparents having sex than Kanye and various fat girls. But, for example... STORY: Kanye and Kim Kardashian hired 25-year-old model Mony Monn to say she's the girl in the tape because it's actually Kim, and if that gets out Kim will lose millions...read more

Kim Kardashian is practically a cancer survivor

For the most part, the UK is blissfully unaware of Kim Kardashian, and obviously she can't stand idly by while that happens so she's in the new issue of Nuts magazine (pictured) and has an interview with the Guardian. If the goal was for people to know the real Kim Kardashian, it succeeds. She sounds like a vapid cunt, and she is one. Take for example her thoughts (and I use that word in the loosest possible sense)...read more

Kanye agrees: Kim is only famous for her sex tape

Kanye Wests album ‘Cruel Summer' won't be released until September 18, but a copy of the song ‘Clique' has been leaked, and some people say the line, "Eat breakfast at Gucci. My girl a superstar all from a home movie," is a reference to Kim Kardashian and her sex tape. So maybe he's proud of that. And he should be. There's no greater act of love than for a girl to give her boyfriend a blowjob and let him film it (hint...read more

Kim Kardashian can't get a star on the Walk of Fame

As mentioned earlier, it's unthinkably easy to get a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. There's 2,476 of them. Magic Johnson and Muhammad Ali are on there and they don't even have anything to do with Hollywood. Big Bird and Kermit the Frog both have two. They give the things to almost anyone. Except for Kim Kardashian, thank fucking God. A rep for The Hollywood Chamber of Commerce (told the Hollywood Reporter) that...read more

Kim Kardashian had a 3way with a male porn star

Julian St. Jox, who has been in 1286 porn movies, including 'Junk N Da Trunk 13' and 'Bootylicious 45: Lose A Ho, Gain A Ho', tells Star that he had a three-way in 2001 with Kim Kardashian, who was 20 at the time, and another girl at a swingers party in Culver City. Oooo, Culver City! How exotic! "It was around 11:30 p.m. when Kim showed up with a black male." Well his story checks out so far. "As soon as Kim walked...read more

Kris Jenner is not dead. Unfortunately.

Apparently there was a rumor on Twitter last night that Kris Jenner had died, and the entire world was dancing and celebrating like at the end of ‘Return of the Jedi', but then Kim Kardashian had to butt in and ruin everything. "The awkward moment when ‘RIP Kris Jenner' is trending yet I'm the phone with her! LOL." Yeah. OK. That's not how the "that awkward moment..." thing works by the way. I know I might as well...read more

50 Cent on Kanye and Kim Kardashian: "One mans trash..."

Taken out of context, it may have sounded like an insult when XXL asked 50 Cent about Kanye West and Kim Kardashian and 50 referred to Kim as "trash", but when you read it in context... XXL: "Kanye took to his Twitter to announce that he wrote the song "Perfect Bitch" about Kim Kardashian. What do you think?" 50 CENT: "I mean…if that man feel like she perfect, then she's perfect. He could mean it and you'll end up...read more

Kim Kardashian has stopped using birth control

In the most definitive sign yet that Kim Kardashian really does want to settle down and start a family with Kanye West (or at least it would be if this were true), InTouch says they've been looking at house together and she's "quit her birth control". Though technically, swallowing is not a form of approved birth control, at least not if you ask those so-called "doctors". (image source = fame/flynet)read more

Kris Jenner sold Kim Kardashians sex tape

It's hard to believe that a mother would contact a porn producer to sell a home video of her own daughter having sex, until you realize that the mother is Kris Jenner and the daughter is Kim Kardashian. Then it's not hard to believe at all, because that's absolutely something they would do. "Kris was totally involved in arranging the sale of Kim's tape," the source told Star magazine. "The video already existed, and...read more