Kim Kardashian is a fitness model

By brendon April 13, 2011 @ 5:26 PM

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I’m not surprised that there’s a company with a product that can change the shape of a girls ass, and that they hired Kim Kardashian to promote it, I’m just surprised that the product isn’t hot dogs.

It’s actually Sketcher’s Shape Ups, the workout shoe designed to tone and firm your thighs and buttocks. Naturally they hired Kim to promote it, and today she and her mom filmed a commercial for them in Santa Monica, because who doesn’t want to look like Kim Kardashian from the waist down?

So when they bring this footage to the editor and tell him to make a commercial that will sell shoes to girls, how many times do you think he’ll say, “are you fucking kidding me?”

(image source = fame)

Khloe Kardashian is the ugly and fat one

By brendon March 31, 2011 @ 3:42 PM

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Her words, not mine.

Khloe Kardashian talks about keeping her self esteem up when people tend to say pretty nasty things about her. 
“I’m the ugly sister. I’m the fat one. I’m the transvestite. I have had those mean things said about me at least twice a day for the last five years.”
“It’s horrible, you know? But I can brush that stuff off.”
“Kim and Kourtney have said to me, ‘If we were put under the same negative attention that you are, we couldn’t handle it.’”

Yeah because those two are hot. So it wouldn’t make any sense. And they’re probably just being nice so you don’t turn on them, so you don’t attack them one night and keep their head as a trophy.

Kim Kardashian knows how to dress

By brendon March 11, 2011 @ 4:06 PM

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Kim Kardashian wore some skin tight clothes that showed off her huge boobs for a dance class yesterday in Hollywood, and when she stood up she had to reach down and adjust her pants. What a coincidence.

(image source = pacific coast)

The Kardashians made $65 million last year

By brendon February 17, 2011 @ 4:30 PM

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The Kardashians don’t actually do anything of course, and you could very definitely argue they would be doing even less if Kim didn’t have really big tits and make a sex tape, but she does and she did, and so now the Hollywood Reporter says the family grossed a collective 65 million dollars in 2010.

These days, Kim reportedly charges as much as $25,000 to mention a brand in a tweet — and most family members include a “Twitter clause” in their contracts.
One talent wrangler tells THR that Kim can charge up to $100,000 to $250,000 to appear at an event — and even $1 million abroad.
Jenner isn’t shy about how long she’d like to sustain her brood’s success. “My fantasy is to have Keeping Up With Kardashians, Season 26…Who knew it would be this profitable? I should have had more kids.”

Ok that last part was a little chilling, but not nearly as disturbing as the fact that the Kardashians made more than Angelina Jolie, Sandra Bullock and Tom Cruise, combined. Stunning, right? So take that Sandra Bullock! Look at you, talkin shit the whole time. Not so tough now, are you!

Prince kicked Kim Kardashian off stage (not literally)

By brendon February 08, 2011 @ 11:47 AM

Kim Kardashian and her lover Kris Humphries went to see Prince last night in New York, when suddenly she was pulled on stage to dance with him!!!

And then she was promptly kicked off stage because she basically just stood there. E! says…

(Prince invited Kim) onstage during his show tonight at Madison Square Garden, but gave her the high-heeled boot when she was initially too fazed to get funky.
Or maybe he was annoyed that she was tweeting midperformance

They’re not kidding. She really was

– “OMG Prince just pulled me up on stage!!! I’m shaking!!!!”
– “I was so nervous I froze when Prince touched me!!!!”
– “Went up on stage AGAIN! This time I redeemed myself! We all danced while Prince played the piano! Wow! What a night!”

So apparently she was just nervous the first time. Which is actually sort of cute. People should really re-think their opinion of Kim because she’s not the whore Paris Hilton is, but they get lumped together because of the sex tape. You never hear about Kim getting drunk and sleeping around, she usually has a boyfriend, and she rarely wears anything slutty when she goes out, like she would if she were some dirty Italian.

(NOTE: I might just make the page as racist as possible today)

(image source = splash news online)

Kim Kardashian changed her mind about those pictures

By brendon February 04, 2011 @ 4:55 PM

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Just a few days ago, Kim Kardashian was on TV crying because of the pictures of her in W magazine, the ones the showed her naked except for some silver paint (these). The ones she called, “full on porn”.

Umm… jk lol!

“Looking back, I love the photos,” she told Us magazine.
The reality star, who filmed the episode last fall, has had several months to come to appreciate the magazine spread.
“W Magazine is iconic so I’m really happy that I did it and that those are the photos.”
“It’s just that that’s not what I thought they were going to be,” she said.
“Obviously I’m comfortable posing nude — I’ve done that before, and I did that then for the magazine,” she explained. “But that’s probably not the direction I would’ve wanted to go if I thought that was going to be the case.”
Still, she conceded, “I do think the pictures are beautiful.”

Good. Good for her. They are beautiful, of course they’re beautiful. Kims hot, and has huge tits, and she was naked in silver paint. It was a great shoot, and if need be they could be turned into a really good ad for Space Camp.