Kim Kardashian is in the Mexican edition of Esquire this month, and even though I don’t speak Spanish it was full of surprising revelations. Specifically that she can lie back in water. Her ass is so big I assumed the buoyancy would keep her completely upright, bobbing up and down like a buoy in the ocean. This might be some kind of special effect they’re using.
Kim Kardashian was backstage at the Jimmy Kimmel show yesterday when she tweeted this picture showing that the zipper on her dress had broken. And do you know what kind of people have zippers break?
“About to do Jimmy Kimmel & my whole dress rips! Help!!! Time to sew me in…praying this works.”
Wait, why do we have to help? Don’t put this on us just because you can’t accept your dress size. That poor zipper never had a chance. She needed one of those industrial grade steel zippers like on tarps when they have to contain some kind of radiation.
(image source = pacific coast)
Kanye West was in Cannes last week for the debut of his short film “Cruel Summer” on Wednesday, and the plan was for him to promote it by performing at the after party. Unfortunately he also brought Kim Kardashian to Cannes, and if she goes too long without food she get’s pissed, so instead of doing that he went to dinner with her.
The New York Daily News says…
West was supposed to join the star of his picture, Kid Cudi, for a “surprise performance” at the Provocateur nightclub.
Cudi did end up performing to a crowd that included Jay-Z (who was also at the screening), but (Kanye and Kardashian) made a brief appearance, then ducked out early for some quality time with each other.
So are they claiming that a musician went and got laid instead of working? Where, on Earth2? This is the first I’ve ever heard of such behavior.
(image source = fame/flynet)
Though it’s down now, up until today the bio for Kim Kardashian on IMDb was exactly what every bio on her should be; scathing. But here it is in all it’s former glory because uproxx thankfully saw it before her attorneys did.
Here’s how it began:
Kim Kardashian is emblematic of the shallowness of American culture in the first two decades of the new millennium (whose fame) comes from the release of a sex tape and the canny exploitation of the resulting publicity.
…Kardashian is possessed of photogenic good looks but is short of any other discernible talents outside of the bedroom.
To be fair, it’s actually not just the bedroom. In fact you could say that the number of places where she can show off her tits and blow guys is only limited by her imagination.
(image source for more pictures during kim’s italian vogue shoot = bauer griffin)
Despite how convincing it looked, Kim Kardashian did not get a haircut and was actually just wearing a wig during a photo shoot in LA yesterday for the Italian edition of Vogue. People says she looks almost exactly like her mom here, which is much nicer than saying she looks like a popular middle-aged prostitute, which is what I was planning.
(image source = fame/flynet)
Some girls might be upset if there were pictures of their date pretending to listen to their dumb conversation but actually staring at their tits, but luckily for Kanye he dates Kim Kardashian, and any Hollywood starlet whose IMDb page includes a movie where she sucked off Ray-J five times is gonna be pretty tough to offend.
(image source of kanye and kim at staples saturday night to watch the lakers close out the nuggets in the first round of the nba playoffs = splash)