Kim Kardashian knows how to pick a flattering outfit

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West went to dinner in New York last night, and with her hair up and a sleeveless dress with no cleavage, it belied her usual gift for hiding her enormous ass. She looked so fat she might as well have gone dressed as a hot dog. (image source = splash)read more

Kim Kardashian is already freaking out Beyonce

Kim Kardashian is still desperate to parlay her relationship with Kanye West into a friendship with Beyonce and Jay Z, so she reportedly spent $5,000 on a gold bracelet with pink and white diamonds for their daughter Blue Ivy, and then engraved it with a very presumptuous, "Love Auntie Kim." Guess how that went over. "They have been friends for five minutes, but already Kim is trying to force herself into Beyonce's...read more

Kanye makes Kim pump the gas

KNOW YOUR PLACE, FATTY! (image source of kanye and kim and his black lamborghini = fame/flynet)read more

Kim Kardashian could use some makeup

Kim Kardashian went to a tanning salon in Studio City yesterday, and either she's not doing it right or she's in a kabuki play or she was bitten by a vampire because she went in tan and came out looking ghostly white. Let's just go with vampire bite because staking her in the heart is maybe not the worst idea in the world anyway. (image source = fame/flynet)read more

Kanye really wants to marry Kim Kardashian. Still.

An unnamed source (Kris Jenner) tells Us magazine that Kanye West is completely in love with Kim Kardashian and wants to marry her, just in case you forgot when an unnamed source told Us magazine the same thing 6 weeks ago. "They're seriously talking marriage. And yes, she would [accept his proposal]." But tying the knot isn't the only thing on (his) mind. "Kanye says he can't wait to see her carrying his child," a...read more

Kim Kardashian is in Esquire

Kim Kardashian is in the Mexican edition of Esquire this month, and even though I don't speak Spanish it was full of surprising revelations. Specifically that she can lie back in water. Her ass is so big I assumed the buoyancy would keep her completely upright, bobbing up and down like a buoy in the ocean. This might be some kind of special effect they're using.read more

Kim Kardashian is too fat for her dress

Kim Kardashian was backstage at the Jimmy Kimmel show yesterday when she tweeted this picture showing that the zipper on her dress had broken. And do you know what kind of people have zippers break? "About to do Jimmy Kimmel & my whole dress rips! Help!!! Time to sew me in...praying this works." Wait, why do we have to help? Don't put this on us just because you can't accept your dress size. That poor zipper never...read more

Kanye is canceling shows to hang out with Kim Kardashian

Kanye West was in Cannes last week for the debut of his short film "Cruel Summer" on Wednesday, and the plan was for him to promote it by performing at the after party. Unfortunately he also brought Kim Kardashian to Cannes, and if she goes too long without food she get's pissed, so instead of doing that he went to dinner with her. The New York Daily News says... West was supposed to join the star of his picture, Kid...read more

Kim Kardashian had a very forthright IMDb bio

Though it's down now, up until today the bio for Kim Kardashian on IMDb was exactly what every bio on her should be; scathing. But here it is in all it's former glory because uproxx thankfully saw it before her attorneys did. Here's how it began: Kim Kardashian is emblematic of the shallowness of American culture in the first two decades of the new millennium (whose fame) comes from the release of a sex tape and the...read more

Kim Kardashian did not get a haircut

Despite how convincing it looked, Kim Kardashian did not get a haircut and was actually just wearing a wig during a photo shoot in LA yesterday for the Italian edition of Vogue. People says she looks almost exactly like her mom here, which is much nicer than saying she looks like a popular middle-aged prostitute, which is what I was planning. (image source = fame/flynet)read more

why even pretend, Kanye?

Some girls might be upset if there were pictures of their date pretending to listen to their dumb conversation but actually staring at their tits, but luckily for Kanye he dates Kim Kardashian, and any Hollywood starlet whose IMDb page includes a movie where she sucked off Ray-J five times is gonna be pretty tough to offend. (image source of kanye and kim at staples saturday night to watch the lakers close out the...read more

Kanye raps about marrying Kim Kardashian

It's easy, and fun, to make fun of Kanye West, but considering he got A's in high school and his mom was the Chair of the English Department at Chicago State University, no one could actually consider him stupid. Unless he really is thinking about marrying Kim Kardashian like Us magazine claims, in which case people could and should. On an upcoming track by hip-hop artist Pusha T, West, 34, raps, "I saw you in the...read more

Kim Kardashian was banned from the Met Gala

The Metropolitan Museum of Art Gala might be the biggest social event of the year in New York, second only to the Academy Awards when it comes to attracting big name celebrities. And since Kanye West and Kim Kardashian have been inseparable lately, there had to be a good reason why he was there without her. And it turns out there was; it's because Anna Wintour (editor of Vogue, the Meryl Streep character in ‘The Devil...read more

Kanye and Kim Kardashian are "talking marriage"

According to a source (it's Kim Kardashian), Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are so amazing together they're already talking about getting married. So forget all that negative stuff you've heard about Kim for the last 6 months because that's all in the past and we should ignore that other marriage because that's old news and the new news is that Kim is totally marriage material and successful, popular people with lots...read more

Kim Kardashian forgot this Ferrari was a wedding gift

On Friday it was reported that Kim Kardashian "forgot" one of the wedding presents she received for her sham 72-day marriage, because instead of giving them back or splitting them with her husband, she's keeping them all for herself and giving $200,000 to charity, an amount she says is twice what the gifts are worth. Well now it turns out the gift she didn't count is a $325,000 Ferrari (a 458 Italia?) and it's odd...read more