Kim Kardashian is in Esquire

Kim Kardashian is in the Mexican edition of Esquire this month, and even though I don't speak Spanish it was full of surprising revelations. Specifically that she can lie back in water. Her ass is so big I assumed the buoyancy would keep her completely upright, bobbing up and down like a buoy in the ocean. This might be some kind of special effect they're using. [gallery id="6762"]

read more
Kim Kardashian is too fat for her dress

Kim Kardashian was backstage at the Jimmy Kimmel show yesterday when she tweeted this picture showing that the zipper on her dress had broken. And do you know what kind of people have zippers break? "About to do Jimmy Kimmel & my whole dress rips! Help!!! Time to sew me in...praying this works." Wait, why do we have to help? Don't put this on us just because you can't accept your dress size. That poor zipper never...

read more
Kanye is canceling shows to hang out with Kim Kardashian

Kanye West was in Cannes last week for the debut of his short film "Cruel Summer" on Wednesday, and the plan was for him to promote it by performing at the after party. Unfortunately he also brought Kim Kardashian to Cannes, and if she goes too long without food she get's pissed, so instead of doing that he went to dinner with her. The New York Daily News says... West was supposed to join the star of his picture, Kid...

read more
Kim Kardashian had a very forthright IMDb bio

Though it's down now, up until today the bio for Kim Kardashian on IMDb was exactly what every bio on her should be; scathing. But here it is in all it's former glory because uproxx thankfully saw it before her attorneys did. Here's how it began: Kim Kardashian is emblematic of the shallowness of American culture in the first two decades of the new millennium (whose fame) comes from the release of a sex tape and the...

read more
Kim Kardashian did not get a haircut

Despite how convincing it looked, Kim Kardashian did not get a haircut and was actually just wearing a wig during a photo shoot in LA yesterday for the Italian edition of Vogue. People says she looks almost exactly like her mom here, which is much nicer than saying she looks like a popular middle-aged prostitute, which is what I was planning. (image source = fame/flynet) [gallery id="6844"]

read more
why even pretend, Kanye?

Some girls might be upset if there were pictures of their date pretending to listen to their dumb conversation but actually staring at their tits, but luckily for Kanye he dates Kim Kardashian, and any Hollywood starlet whose IMDb page includes a movie where she sucked off Ray-J five times is gonna be pretty tough to offend. (image source of kanye and kim at staples saturday night to watch the lakers close out the...

read more
Kanye raps about marrying Kim Kardashian

It's easy, and fun, to make fun of Kanye West, but considering he got A's in high school and his mom was the Chair of the English Department at Chicago State University, no one could actually consider him stupid. Unless he really is thinking about marrying Kim Kardashian like Us magazine claims, in which case people could and should. On an upcoming track by hip-hop artist Pusha T, West, 34, raps, "I saw you in the...

read more
Kim Kardashian was banned from the Met Gala

The Metropolitan Museum of Art Gala might be the biggest social event of the year in New York, second only to the Academy Awards when it comes to attracting big name celebrities. And since Kanye West and Kim Kardashian have been inseparable lately, there had to be a good reason why he was there without her. And it turns out there was; it's because Anna Wintour (editor of Vogue, the Meryl Streep character in ‘The Devil...

read more
Kanye and Kim Kardashian are "talking marriage"

According to a source (it's Kim Kardashian), Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are so amazing together they're already talking about getting married. So forget all that negative stuff you've heard about Kim for the last 6 months because that's all in the past and we should ignore that other marriage because that's old news and the new news is that Kim is totally marriage material and successful, popular people with lots...

read more
Kim Kardashian forgot this Ferrari was a wedding gift

On Friday it was reported that Kim Kardashian "forgot" one of the wedding presents she received for her sham 72-day marriage, because instead of giving them back or splitting them with her husband, she's keeping them all for herself and giving $200,000 to charity, an amount she says is twice what the gifts are worth. Well now it turns out the gift she didn't count is a $325,000 Ferrari (a 458 Italia?) and it's odd...

read more
Kim Kardashian stole $1.2 million from people with cancer. Sort of.

When Kim Kardashian first announced that she was keeping her wedding gifts, she justified it by donating $200,000 to a charity, an amount twice what the presents were estimated to be worth. Of course Kim was the one doing the estimating, and it turns out she gave herself a very generous discount. Kris Humphries wants to know what happened to a $325,000 wedding gift that was given to him and Kim Kardashian, Radar is...

read more
'30 Rock' reminds us that blackface is always funny

For last nights live episode of '30 Rock', the cast performed the show twice (once for the east coast and once for the west) and one of the biggest differences (here's 25 more) was right at the beginning, when Jack McBrayer led a guest into Alec Baldwins office. For the east coast, the guest was Paul McCartney. For the west, it was Kim Kardashian. Which seems like an overly complicated way of telling the west...read more

they're gonna need a wider door

We know that Kim Kardashins mom slept around when she had Khloe, but what about when she had Kim? Because her mom doesn't have a giant ass like this. Her real dad has to be someone 'The Refrigerator' Perry. And her real mom is a centaur and they found Kim in the woods. (image source = splash, inf) [gallery id="6897"]

read more
Kim Kardashian still has those wedding presents

?Kim Kardashian recently sent a card to everyone who attended her wedding and told them that, instead of simply returning the gifts they gave her ("I mean, I guess I could have mailed it. Like I did with the card you're currently reading. And you would have your gift back right now instead of a form letter.") she will donate them all to charity. And, no, you didn't miss her getting married again. This is still about...

read more
the Kardashians signed a $40,000,000 extension

Deadline is reporting today that the Kardashians (all 8 of them) have signed a three-year deal with E! for the 7th, 8th, and 9th seasons of ‘Keeping Up With The Kardashians'. It also includes a first-look deal for other unscripted show ideas or concepts. I could have saved them a lot of money on that second part because here's every idea the Kardashians have ever and will ever have for a TV show: find the dumbest...

read more