Kris Jenner Says Kanye Is the Best Ever

By Jack October 07, 2013 @ 2:27 PM

Mother of the year Kris Jenner says that Kanye West is a great baby daddy to her sex star daughter. In an interview on the gaynoxious Hello Ross show, Jenner described what a loving and wonderful person Kanye is. I’m not sure if she knows a different Kanye because the guy she’s talking about doesn’t sound like the egomaniacal butthole we all know and despise. Jenner says,

“I love him so much and he’s such an amazing boyfriend to Kim and a great dad and a wonderful person.”

Really? Reaaalllllyy? I sort of don’t believe any of that. Though I kind of believe that Kris Jenner believes it. Especially if she’s talking about his earning potential, which I always assume she is when talking about anybody, including her own children. At some point, Kanye will find Kris slithering into his bed late at night. I hope he handles it better than Lamar. Don’t plead, that only excites her.

Welcome Back, Kim Kardashian’s Giant Breasts

By Travis October 02, 2013 @ 9:00 AM

As Kim Kardashian continues to reconnect with all of her friends in the fashion industry at the Paris Fashion Week events, she’s also doing her best to make sure nobody talks about how she still looks pretty large after giving birth. Her method of choice? By shoving her gigantic mommy breasts in our faces and shaking them until our eyes pop out. It’s a pretty strong tactic, because I was originally sitting here, writing “Fatty” over and over, but now I just keep making squeezing motions with my hands while shouting, “HONK!”

(Photo Credits: Getty)

Kim Kardashian Shows Off Her Boob in Paris

By Lex October 01, 2013 @ 5:22 PM

Kim Kardashian Shows Off Her Cleavage Out In Paris
Kim Kardashian wanted everyone at Paris Fashion Week to know that her genetic destiny to be a plump Armenian matron remains at bay for now. Her strict diet of amphetamines and chewing on her worn shoes before she mails them off to her fetish fans for thousands of dollars is starting to work, but she needs more time. Flashing a little tit helped everybody ignore her obvious large midsection for at least one more day. It’s a solid strategy until her starving body can consume enough of its own belly fat to get her back into non-stretch band pants. Expect a lot more tit shows in the next three to four weeks.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet, INFphoto.com, WENN

North West Get Thousands Of Dollars In Designer Baby Clothes

By Jack October 01, 2013 @ 2:35 PM

The infant Yessiah, North West, received a fortune in baby clothes gifts at Paris fashion week even though she was left back in Los Angeles to to the care of her talking orangutan guardians while her parents party in the City of Light. North’s slutbag mother has been trolling around fashion week trying to gain attention for some product she was hawking, most notably her new even bigger mom tits. The most famous baby in the world that no one has ever seen live got quite a haul from real fashion designers. Kim decided to Instagram pictures of the designer baby threads before she took them to a back alley in the Latin Quarter to trade for some off-brand diet pills.

(Picture Via Instagram/Kimkardashian)

Kim Kardashian’s Huge Breasts Arrived At Paris Fashion Week

By Travis September 30, 2013 @ 9:00 AM

Rapper Kanye West showed up to the Givenchy runway show at the Paris Fashion Week yesterday with his girlfriend and amateur porn star, Kim Kardashian, and a lot of people are saying that she looks great for having recently given birth to their daughter, North West. And those people are obviously just staring at her tits and nodding at whatever Kim’s PR people are trying to have published. What’s that, Kris Jenner? Kim is a size 2 despite looking like she’s still housing a Range Rover in her uterus? Sure, whatever, now back to those gigantic breasts.

(Photo Credits: Getty)

Kim Kardashian Launches Pure Honey

By Lex September 25, 2013 @ 2:58 PM

Kim Kardashian Shows Off Her Clevage In A Green Jumpsuit Out With Blac Chyna In Sherman Oaks
If you’re like me, you were counting the days until Kim Kardashian launched her fifth fragrance line. If her first four aromas, Essential Scabies, Summer of Chlamydia, Krap Meadow, and Shpilkas, didn’t catch your fancy, just wait for Pure Honey, out today in stores.

I wanted Pure Honey to be both light and sweet but also powerfully seductive. As women we all have these dual natures. We can be girly and playful but also tempting and captivating at the same time. Combining the two elements was the perfect way to capture our full femininity. I created it to be delectable and crave-able, like all beautiful women are. — Kim blogging about her new perfume.

I wish I were a woman with the dual power of being sweet but also seductive, playful but also captivating. I also wish I could mask the stench of Kim’s yeasty cooch with the aroma of pure crave-ability. It beats taking a shower.

Kim was out around town hawking her new stench and showing how well simple starvation works to remove the baby weight. She now has stripper turned rapper baby maker Blac Chyna follow her around everywhere so people will stop yelling her name aloud when somebody shouts out, ‘Hey, who’s the skankiest skeez ho in the house?’.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI, INFphoto.com, PCN