For last nights live episode of ’30 Rock’, the cast performed the show twice (once for the east coast and once for the west) and one of the biggest differences (here’s 25 more) was right at the beginning, when Jack McBrayer led a guest into Alec Baldwins office. For the east coast, the guest was Paul McCartney. For the west, it was Kim Kardashian. Which seems like an overly complicated way of telling the west coast to go fuck itself.
Luckily one thing that stayed the same was Jon Hamm as Tracy Morgans brother in a 60’s sitcom called ‘Abner and Alfie’. Which looks like it would be a really good show. That ol’ Abner is all gettin into monkeyshines!
We know that Kim Kardashins mom slept around when she had Khloe, but what about when she had Kim? Because her mom doesn’t have a giant ass like this. Her real dad has to be someone ‘The Refrigerator’ Perry. And her real mom is a centaur and they found Kim in the woods.
Kim Kardashian recently sent a card to everyone who attended her wedding and told them that, instead of simply returning the gifts they gave her (“I mean, I guess I could have mailed it. Like I did with the card you’re currently reading. And you would have your gift back right now instead of a form letter.”) she will donate them all to charity.
And, no, you didn’t miss her getting married again. This is still about her wedding 9 months ago, and the gifts she’s had (and perhaps been using) all this time. And the ‘Keeping Up With The Kardashians” cast member who played her husband on the show would like to know why.
“Kris (Humphries) wants to know exactly which gifts are being given to which charity and why weren’t the presents simply returned? Kris just can’t fathom why Kim wouldn’t just do the right thing and return the gifts to their guests,” an insider tells Radar.
“He wasn’t given any consideration or any allowed any input regarding Kim’s decision, and the gifts were given to both of them not just Kim. Kris still wants Kim to return the gifts, period. It’s the right thing to do because the marriage just didn’t last.”
No, Kim is right, this is way better. She could go to some place that studies AIDS and find out if a crystal figurine of three monkeys will maybe stop it somehow. Because that’s the kind of thing she put her gift registry, and charities need more of that. Some lucky runaway at Covenant House is about to get a lightly-used Hermes dessert plate, making all his dreams come true.
Deadline is reporting today that the Kardashians (all 8 of them) have signed a three-year deal with E! for the 7th, 8th, and 9th seasons of ‘Keeping Up With The Kardashians’. It also includes a first-look deal for other unscripted show ideas or concepts.
I could have saved them a lot of money on that second part because here’s every idea the Kardashians have ever and will ever have for a TV show: find the dumbest cunts in America and film them.
(image source for kim and kourtney today in new york = inf)
In a new clip from “Khloe and Lamar,” Kim Kardashian says she wants to run for mayor of Glendale, but before you think this is yet another publicity stunt, she adds, “for real”. Not “real” enough to know that Glendale doesn’t have an elected mayor but whatever. The LA Times says…
“I decided I’m going to run for the mayor of Glendale,” Kardashian said, later clarifying that “it’s going to be in, like, five years.”
And between now and then maybe she can actually move from where she lives, which is Calabasas, to Glendale, about 40 minutes away.
(Kardashian) said she would choose to run for office in Glendale “because it’s, like, Armenian town.”
Actually it’s White town. It’s 64 percent white, 9 percent Armenian. But the people of Glendale are sure to be impressed that she chose their town because it would be the easiest.
It would not be the first time a celebrity ran for political office in the state of California. Voters recently elected body builder Arnold Schwarzenegger to the governorship. After movie star Ronald Reagan was voted into the same post, he moved on to become president of the United States.
The “body builder” also has a Business degree from the University of Wisconsin-Superior, and the “movie star” had a degree in Economics from Eureka College. Kim didn’t get her degree four years after high school because, at the time, there was a guy was peeing on her and filming it, and professors don’t really allow that kind of thing in class.
Back in December of 2010, there was a rumor that Kanye West and Kim Kardashian had been secretly dating and that he had even gotten her pregnant, though it was said that Kim wanted a relationship but Kanye didn’t. Nothing ever came of it (perhaps because December 2010 is also when Kim met Kris Humphries for the first time and they were engaged 5 months later), but Kanye released a song yesterday called “Theraflu” and the lyrics definitely give you the impression that he was at least fucking her. On account of her being a slut and everything.
“And I’ll admit, I had fell in love with Kim.
Around the time she had fell in love with him.
Well that’s cool, baby girl, do your thing.
Lucky I ain’t had Jay drop him from the team. (*)”
And just to make sure they got all the attention they so desperately crave, Kim and Kanye went to a movie last night and to FAO Schwarz today. And I can’t help but notice that the paparazzi agencies all have pictures of them inside the toy store, even though It’s illegal for paparazzi to go on private property. Which means they had a personal photographer and then sold the pictures themselves.
These two really are made for each other. Not only is he black and rich but he has a dumb name that starts with K too. She’s everything she could ever hope for.
(*) “Jay” of course is Jay-Z, part owner of the New Jersey Nets, the team Humphries pays for. image source = pacific coast