Kim Kardashian is hoping that she and her estranged husband Kris Humphries can have their divorce settled by a private mediator instead of in a courtroom, because, and this is a quote, “A public trial is the last thing that Kim wants … She wants the mediation to be private and confidential.”
Ok, now try and guess if Kris Humphries is in the mood to do favors for Kim Kardashian.
“Kris Humphries is said to want his divorce trial on TV to expose the truth behind the Kardashian reality shows, according to reports, (and to) prove in court that Kim only wanted to marry him to boost ratings.”
Aww what a shame. And after Kim has worked so hard to always lead her life with such a quiet dignity.
Fox cites a few sources today in suggesting that Khloe Kardashians real father is a man named Alex Roldan, who has been Kris Jenners hairdresser for over 30 years.
Now, this would imply that a hairdresser with a salon in West Hollywood had sex with a woman, which seems unlikely, but he is over 6 feet tall, which might account for Khloes height, and her middle name is Alexandria, but more than anything there’s a clip of him in this absolutely unbearable video that Kris Jenner made when she was 30 (yes she’s been an attention whore for that long). Just look at this .gif of it, because HOLY FUCK YES. That’s absolutely her father.
He looks exactly like her. Fuck, he looks so much like her it makes me wonder if Kris is even Khloes mom. Was there even a mom? It’s looks more like the dude just cloned himself. Maxi-Me.
Despite the fact that we can look right at them, Kris Jenner still insists that her daughters Kim Kardashian (who looks like Princess Jasmine), Kourtney Kardashian (who looks like Princess Jasmine), and Khloe Kardashian (who looks like Bigfoot) all have the same father. It’s actually kind of insulting. So today Opie and Anthony offered Kris $250,000 to prove it. All she has to do is arrange the DNA tests that prove Robert Kardashian was Khloes father. And since she’s of course telling the truth, this should be easy money for Jenner.
Opie even offered to give the money directly to a charity if thats what Kris wants, so some good can come out of this. Granted in this case the charity she would chose would be “the Prada store”, to benefit their “handbags for old ladies” program, but it’s the thought that counts.
To be fair, maybe Lindsay Lohan didn’t sneak into last nights Weinstein Company party, because it seems Kim Kardashian and the Hilton sisters were also there. How prestigious! Suffice to say no one should touch anything in that room until it’s been boiled.
Ricky Gervais hosted the Golden Globes for the third time last night, and for once people probably won’t spend an entire week saying his monologue was too mean to all the big stars.
There was one joke about how he doesn’t know any guys who have seen Jodie Fosters ‘Beaver’, but that’s entirely her fault for naming her movie ‘the Beaver’. What the hell did she expect? Other than that his best line was probably about Kim Kardasian:
“The Golden Globes are to the Oscars what Kim Kardashian is to Kate Middleton. A bit louder, a bit trashier, a bit drunker and more easily bought.”
That’s actually more insulting to Kate Middleton than it is to Kim Kardashian. Kate and Kim shouldn’t be compared in any way. And if Kim Kardashian was an awards show it would the AVNs, if for no other reason than they both have a slot exclusively for black men.