the Kardashians signed a $40,000,000 extension

By brendon April 24, 2012 @ 8:00 PM


Deadline is reporting today that the Kardashians (all 8 of them) have signed a three-year deal with E! for the 7th, 8th, and 9th seasons of ‘Keeping Up With The Kardashians’. It also includes a first-look deal for other unscripted show ideas or concepts.

I could have saved them a lot of money on that second part because here’s every idea the Kardashians have ever and will ever have for a TV show: find the dumbest cunts in America and film them.

(image source for kim and kourtney today in new york = inf)

Kim Kardashian wants to be mayor of Glendale

By brendon April 18, 2012 @ 3:46 PM

In a new clip from “Khloe and Lamar,” Kim Kardashian says she wants to run for mayor of Glendale, but before you think this is yet another publicity stunt, she adds, “for real”. Not “real” enough to know that Glendale doesn’t have an elected mayor but whatever. The LA Times says…

“I decided I’m going to run for the mayor of Glendale,” Kardashian said, later clarifying that “it’s going to be in, like, five years.”

And between now and then maybe she can actually move from where she lives, which is Calabasas, to Glendale, about 40 minutes away.

(Kardashian) said she would choose to run for office in Glendale “because it’s, like, Armenian town.” 

Actually it’s White town. It’s 64 percent white, 9 percent Armenian. But the people of Glendale are sure to be impressed that she chose their town because it would be the easiest.

It would not be the first time a celebrity ran for political office in the state of California. Voters recently elected body builder Arnold Schwarzenegger to the governorship. After movie star Ronald Reagan was voted into the same post, he moved on to become president of the United States.

The “body builder” also has a Business degree from the University of Wisconsin-Superior, and the “movie star” had a degree in Economics from Eureka College. Kim didn’t get her degree four years after high school because, at the time, there was a guy was peeing on her and filming it, and professors don’t really allow that kind of thing in class.

Kim Kardashian and Kanye might be dating. Again.

By brendon April 05, 2012 @ 5:58 PM


Back in December of 2010, there was a rumor that Kanye West and Kim Kardashian had been secretly dating and that he had even gotten her pregnant, though it was said that Kim wanted a relationship but Kanye didn’t. Nothing ever came of it (perhaps because December 2010 is also when Kim met Kris Humphries for the first time and they were engaged 5 months later), but Kanye released a song yesterday called “Theraflu” and the lyrics definitely give you the impression that he was at least fucking her. On account of her being a slut and everything.

“And I’ll admit, I had fell in love with Kim.
Around the time she had fell in love with him.
Well that’s cool, baby girl, do your thing.
Lucky I ain’t had Jay drop him from the team. (*)”

And just to make sure they got all the attention they so desperately crave, Kim and Kanye went to a movie last night and to FAO Schwarz today. And I can’t help but notice that the paparazzi agencies all have pictures of them inside the toy store, even though It’s illegal for paparazzi to go on private property. Which means they had a personal photographer and then sold the pictures themselves.

These two really are made for each other. Not only is he black and rich but he has a dumb name that starts with K too. She’s everything she could ever hope for.

(*) “Jay” of course is Jay-Z, part owner of the New Jersey Nets, the team Humphries pays for. image source = pacific coast

Kris Humphries wants a public apology from Kim Kardashian

By brendon April 02, 2012 @ 2:06 PM


Kim Kardashian has received a ton of completely justified negative press since filing for divorce from Kris Humphries after a 72-day-marriage, so she’s trying to wrap their divorce up as fast as possible. The problem is that Humphries won’t sign the papers until she publicly apologizes and admits she only married him for publicity. Hahaha, checkmate, fatty!

The NY Post says…

Humphries is holding back on a divorce settlement and even turned down a $7 million offer from her to “shut up and go away.”
“Kris wants Kim to admit to fraud, to admit the whole thing was staged for publicity … They are trying to spin Kim as the victim, but Kris isn’t going to stand for it.”
The divorce has been stalled because Humphries took the unusual step of filing for an annulment based on fraud. He is also demanding Kim reveal how much she earned during their 72-day marriage.

Her mistake is thinking she could bribe him for just $7 million. He’s a free agent after this season who’s averaging 14 points and 11 rebounds a game, which is 5th in the league. He’s a good NBA player, he doesn’t need her money. She might as well have tried to bribe him with a pound of weed.

Kim Kardashian got flour bombed

By brendon March 23, 2012 @ 2:09 PM


The best part about Kim Kardashian getting a bag of flour thrown on her last night while she walked the red carpet at a party for her new perfume was how completely in love with herself she looked right before it happened. She thinks she’s fucking Evita, beloved by all, right at the exact moment when some crazy woman was fighting her way through the crowd and into my heart.

Kim was at the London Hotel in West Hollywood for an event touting her new fragrance line, True Reflection.  She was walking the red carpet when a woman threw the white powder at her from behind, covering her back and her hair.  During the incident, the attacker shouted, “Fur hag.”

Despite earlier reports, the “fur hag” comment was actually not about Kim using fur in her clothing line. It was about her mustache and back hair. Take that, Kim!

(image source = getty, splash, fame/flynet)

Jon Hamm > Kim Kardashian, part 2

By brendon March 19, 2012 @ 5:06 PM


Jon Hamm told Elle UK last week that Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton are “fucking idiots”, and he did that because Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton are fucking idiots. Specifically, he said:

“Whether it’s Paris Hilton or Kim Kardashian or whoever, stupidity is certainly celebrated. Being a fucking idiot is a valuable commodity in this culture because you’re rewarded significantly.”

Once she heard abut this, and then had someone explain it, Kardashian wrote a reply on twitter, where she has over 14,000,000 followers because what Hamm said was 100 percent correct.

“We’re all working hard and we all have to respect one another. Calling someone who runs their own businesses, is a part of a successful TV show, produces, writes, designs, and creates, ‘stupid,’ is in my opinion careless.”

So this morning Matt Lauer gave Hamm a chance to explain his comments, and instead of apologizing like most Hollywood pussies would have done, he awesomely held his ground.

“I don’t think they were careless; I think they were accurate. It’s a part of our culture that I certainly don’t identify with, and I don’t really understand the appeal of it other than in a sort of car crash sensibility, and it’s not something that I partake in or enjoy, but it is what it is, and here we are.”

So far Kim has yet to reply to this, more than likely because she can’t tell if what he said was good or bad.