Kim Kardashian was banned from the Met Gala

By brendon May 09, 2012 @ 11:00 AM


The Metropolitan Museum of Art Gala might be the biggest social event of the year in New York, second only to the Academy Awards when it comes to attracting big name celebrities. And since Kanye West and Kim Kardashian have been inseparable lately, there had to be a good reason why he was there without her.

And it turns out there was; it’s because Anna Wintour (editor of Vogue, the Meryl Streep character in ‘The Devil Wears Prada’, my new hero) banned her.

“Kim and her camp will deny that she wasn’t invited by saying that she had business in LA, but that is a lie. She would [have] done anything to be there with all the A-listers.”
“Anna hates Kim. Why would she be invited to the event? It is all the biggest stars in the world and Kim doesn’t fit that bill at all.”

Hahaha, you suck Kim Kardashian. Of course I’d feel differently if the party were at a natural history museum, because if movies have taught me anything, it’s that mummies come to life and start killing everyone whenever there’s a real fancy party in a natural history museum, and Kim Kardashian doesn’t look very hard to catch.

Kanye and Kim Kardashian are “talking marriage”

By brendon May 02, 2012 @ 5:09 PM


According to a source (it’s Kim Kardashian), Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are so amazing together they’re already talking about getting married. So forget all that negative stuff you’ve heard about Kim for the last 6 months because that’s all in the past and we should ignore that other marriage because that’s old news and the new news is that Kim is totally marriage material and successful, popular people with lots of money want to be her husband. So if you could believe all that from now on, that would be great.

Just one month after going public with their romance, Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are “very serious,” a source tells the new“>Us Weekly — as in, ready to pick out rings.
Although the reality star, 31, has yet to finalize her divorce from NBA star Kris Humphries, she and the rapper, 34, “are talking marriage,” says the source.

Wow. Kim Kardashian must not think very much of us if we’re expected to believe this asinine story. There might as well have been a part about how Kris Humphries can’t get an erection.

Kim Kardashian forgot this Ferrari was a wedding gift

By brendon May 01, 2012 @ 8:22 PM


On Friday it was reported that Kim Kardashian “forgot” one of the wedding presents she received for her sham 72-day marriage, because instead of giving them back or splitting them with her husband, she’s keeping them all for herself and giving $200,000 to charity, an amount she says is twice what the gifts are worth.

Well now it turns out the gift she didn’t count is a $325,000 Ferrari (a 458 Italia?) and it’s odd that it slipped her mind considering she drives it. Radar says:

However, Kris (Humphries) hasn’t forgotten, and although he has no intention of asking for the car his attorneys do intend to question Kardashian under oath as to why she didn’t include the value of the expensive sports car when she tallied up the cost of their wedding gifts.

ATTORNEY: “Why didn’t you include the value of the Ferrari when adding up the cost of the wedding gifts and giving ‘twice the amount’ to charity?”
KIM KARDASHIAN: “Because I’m a vapid, selfish bitch.”
ATTORNEY: “Oh. Oh ok. I kinda thought you’d dance around it for a while. Nothing further, I guess.”

(image source = splash)

Kim Kardashian stole $1.2 million from people with cancer. Sort of.

By brendon April 27, 2012 @ 6:03 PM


When Kim Kardashian first announced that she was keeping her wedding gifts, she justified it by donating $200,000 to a charity, an amount twice what the presents were estimated to be worth.

Of course Kim was the one doing the estimating, and it turns out she gave herself a very generous discount.

Kris Humphries wants to know what happened to a $325,000 wedding gift that was given to him and Kim Kardashian, Radar is reporting.
The former couple received the extravagant gift from a very wealthy Malaysian businessman who attended their wedding … Humphries wants to know why (Kardashian) didn’t factor it in when she made a donation to charity.

They also say that Kim has used this gift “extensively”, and that the total value of the presents is actually $700,000, not $100,000. Meaning Kim slighted the charity for people with a terminal illness by $1.2 million. “They’ll just waste it on wigs or some shit,” Kim thought. “Whereas I actually need that money for more lip gloss and pants with an elastic seat.”

’30 Rock’ reminds us that blackface is always funny

By brendon April 27, 2012 @ 4:23 PM

For last nights live episode of ’30 Rock’, the cast performed the show twice (once for the east coast and once for the west) and one of the biggest differences (here’s 25 more) was right at the beginning, when Jack McBrayer led a guest into Alec Baldwins office. For the east coast, the guest was Paul McCartney. For the west, it was Kim Kardashian. Which seems like an overly complicated way of telling the west coast to go fuck itself.

Luckily one thing that stayed the same was Jon Hamm as Tracy Morgans brother in a 60’s sitcom called ‘Abner and Alfie’. Which looks like it would be a really good show. That ol’ Abner is all gettin into monkeyshines!

they’re gonna need a wider door

By brendon April 27, 2012 @ 11:20 AM


We know that Kim Kardashins mom slept around when she had Khloe, but what about when she had Kim? Because her mom doesn’t have a giant ass like this. Her real dad has to be someone ‘The Refrigerator’ Perry. And her real mom is a centaur and they found Kim in the woods.

(image source = splash, inf)