Kris Humphries wants a public apology from Kim Kardashian

By brendon April 02, 2012 @ 2:06 PM

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Kim Kardashian has received a ton of completely justified negative press since filing for divorce from Kris Humphries after a 72-day-marriage, so she’s trying to wrap their divorce up as fast as possible. The problem is that Humphries won’t sign the papers until she publicly apologizes and admits she only married him for publicity. Hahaha, checkmate, fatty!

The NY Post says…

Humphries is holding back on a divorce settlement and even turned down a $7 million offer from her to “shut up and go away.”
“Kris wants Kim to admit to fraud, to admit the whole thing was staged for publicity … They are trying to spin Kim as the victim, but Kris isn’t going to stand for it.”
The divorce has been stalled because Humphries took the unusual step of filing for an annulment based on fraud. He is also demanding Kim reveal how much she earned during their 72-day marriage.

Her mistake is thinking she could bribe him for just $7 million. He’s a free agent after this season who’s averaging 14 points and 11 rebounds a game, which is 5th in the league. He’s a good NBA player, he doesn’t need her money. She might as well have tried to bribe him with a pound of weed.

Kim Kardashian got flour bombed

By brendon March 23, 2012 @ 2:09 PM

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The best part about Kim Kardashian getting a bag of flour thrown on her last night while she walked the red carpet at a party for her new perfume was how completely in love with herself she looked right before it happened. She thinks she’s fucking Evita, beloved by all, right at the exact moment when some crazy woman was fighting her way through the crowd and into my heart.

Kim was at the London Hotel in West Hollywood for an event touting her new fragrance line, True Reflection.  She was walking the red carpet when a woman threw the white powder at her from behind, covering her back and her hair.  During the incident, the attacker shouted, “Fur hag.”

Despite earlier reports, the “fur hag” comment was actually not about Kim using fur in her clothing line. It was about her mustache and back hair. Take that, Kim!

(image source = getty, splash, fame/flynet)

Jon Hamm > Kim Kardashian, part 2

By brendon March 19, 2012 @ 5:06 PM

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Jon Hamm told Elle UK last week that Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton are “fucking idiots”, and he did that because Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton are fucking idiots. Specifically, he said:

“Whether it’s Paris Hilton or Kim Kardashian or whoever, stupidity is certainly celebrated. Being a fucking idiot is a valuable commodity in this culture because you’re rewarded significantly.”

Once she heard abut this, and then had someone explain it, Kardashian wrote a reply on twitter, where she has over 14,000,000 followers because what Hamm said was 100 percent correct.

“We’re all working hard and we all have to respect one another. Calling someone who runs their own businesses, is a part of a successful TV show, produces, writes, designs, and creates, ‘stupid,’ is in my opinion careless.”

So this morning Matt Lauer gave Hamm a chance to explain his comments, and instead of apologizing like most Hollywood pussies would have done, he awesomely held his ground.

“I don’t think they were careless; I think they were accurate. It’s a part of our culture that I certainly don’t identify with, and I don’t really understand the appeal of it other than in a sort of car crash sensibility, and it’s not something that I partake in or enjoy, but it is what it is, and here we are.”

So far Kim has yet to reply to this, more than likely because she can’t tell if what he said was good or bad.

There is Nothing Fake About This Kardashian Lingerie Ad

By author March 14, 2012 @ 2:30 PM

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Let’s pretend for a moment that it’s not at all creepy for three sisters (even if one’s only half-related) to pose seductively in lingerie together and take a look at the composition here. If you think there’s nothing deceptive going on, let me clarify how a professional photographer goes about removing half of a person’s mass from a picture. First, he sets up at least fifty yards away and racks until he’s just barely in focus. Then he reassesses, has his assistant bring over a bucket of scotch and fires the rest of the crew because their salaries are now needed for a photoshop editor. Don’t believe me?

Here’s Khloe in December looking to be in identical shape as the person in the ad.

(Image Source = Pacific Coast News, Splash News)

Jon Hamm’s Got No Love For These

By author March 13, 2012 @ 12:32 PM

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Jon Hamm has joined the league of legitimate celebrities calling for the immediate death of all Kardashians which is no way a fictional group that I attempt to pray into existence daily. He did, however, say the exact same thing anyone with a functioning brain says about Kim. From ‘Elle UK’ via Huffpost Celebrity:

Whether it’s Paris Hilton or Kim Kardashian or whoever, stupidity is certainly celebrated. Being a f**king idiot is a valuable commodity in this culture because you’re rewarded significantly.

To which Kim burned a valuable otherwise tit-filled tweet in response:

I just heard about the comment Jon Hamm made about me in an interview. I respect Jon and I am a firm believer that everyone is entitled to their own opinion and that not everyone takes the same path in life. We’re all working hard and we all have to respect one another. Calling someone who runs their own businesses, is a part of a successful TV show, produces, writes, designs, and creates, ‘stupid,’ is in my opinion careless.

BAM! Suck on that, Jon Hamm! There’s no greater comeback than telling someone to watch their mouth when they basically call your life worthless. You could interpret it as her inability to come up with a response that would evoke a shred of intellect like “At least I don’t star in a show that glamorizes the subjugation of women and minorities,” but I’m sure she was just trying to be the better person and take the high road.

(Image Source = Getty)

damn you Kim Kardashian

By brendon February 15, 2012 @ 3:46 PM

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People dislike Kim Kardashian for a wide variety of perfectly justified reasons, but she does have pretty brown hair and enormous tits, and when she went to Barrys Bootcamp in Sherman Oaks for a workout this morning, it seemed as though she wanted me to stare at her enormous tits. And so that’s what I’m doing. What a dynamite team she and I make.

(image source = fame/flynet)