Kanye is canceling shows to hang out with Kim Kardashian

By brendon May 29, 2012 @ 3:01 PM


Kanye West was in Cannes last week for the debut of his short film “Cruel Summer” on Wednesday, and the plan was for him to promote it by performing at the after party. Unfortunately he also brought Kim Kardashian to Cannes, and if she goes too long without food she get’s pissed, so instead of doing that he went to dinner with her.

The New York Daily News says…

West was supposed to join the star of his picture, Kid Cudi, for a “surprise performance” at the Provocateur nightclub.
Cudi did end up performing to a crowd that included Jay-Z (who was also at the screening), but (Kanye and Kardashian) made a brief appearance, then ducked out early for some quality time with each other.

So are they claiming that a musician went and got laid instead of working? Where, on Earth2? This is the first I’ve ever heard of such behavior.

(image source = fame/flynet)

Kim Kardashian had a very forthright IMDb bio

By brendon May 15, 2012 @ 3:07 PM


Though it’s down now, up until today the bio for Kim Kardashian on IMDb was exactly what every bio on her should be; scathing. But here it is in all it’s former glory because uproxx thankfully saw it before her attorneys did.

Here’s how it began:

Kim Kardashian is emblematic of the shallowness of American culture in the first two decades of the new millennium (whose fame) comes from the release of a sex tape and the canny exploitation of the resulting publicity.
…Kardashian is possessed of photogenic good looks but is short of any other discernible talents outside of the bedroom.

To be fair, it’s actually not just the bedroom. In fact you could say that the number of places where she can show off her tits and blow guys is only limited by her imagination.

(image source for more pictures during kim’s italian vogue shoot = bauer griffin)

Kim Kardashian did not get a haircut

By brendon May 14, 2012 @ 12:32 PM


Despite how convincing it looked, Kim Kardashian did not get a haircut and was actually just wearing a wig during a photo shoot in LA yesterday for the Italian edition of Vogue. People says she looks almost exactly like her mom here, which is much nicer than saying she looks like a popular middle-aged prostitute, which is what I was planning.

(image source = fame/flynet)

why even pretend, Kanye?

By brendon May 14, 2012 @ 9:44 AM


Some girls might be upset if there were pictures of their date pretending to listen to their dumb conversation but actually staring at their tits, but luckily for Kanye he dates Kim Kardashian, and any Hollywood starlet whose IMDb page includes a movie where she sucked off Ray-J five times is gonna be pretty tough to offend.

(image source of kanye and kim at staples saturday night to watch the lakers close out the nuggets in the first round of the nba playoffs = splash)

Kanye raps about marrying Kim Kardashian

By brendon May 10, 2012 @ 3:29 PM


It’s easy, and fun, to make fun of Kanye West, but considering he got A’s in high school and his mom was the Chair of the English Department at Chicago State University, no one could actually consider him stupid.

Unless he really is thinking about marrying Kim Kardashian like Us magazine claims, in which case people could and should.

On an upcoming track by hip-hop artist Pusha T, West, 34, raps, “I saw you in the club in a white dress/Now I want to put you in a white dress.”
(Says) a second source: “Kim and Kanye are 100 percent having conversations about marriage … (he pursued her) for a long time.”

This already makes no sense, but that Kanye seems ready to rush into it is nothing short of insanity. I know he’s religious but God knocked up Mary and didn’t even take her on a date, so He’s hardly in a position to lecture us.

Kim Kardashian was banned from the Met Gala

By brendon May 09, 2012 @ 11:00 AM


The Metropolitan Museum of Art Gala might be the biggest social event of the year in New York, second only to the Academy Awards when it comes to attracting big name celebrities. And since Kanye West and Kim Kardashian have been inseparable lately, there had to be a good reason why he was there without her.

And it turns out there was; it’s because Anna Wintour (editor of Vogue, the Meryl Streep character in ‘The Devil Wears Prada’, my new hero) banned her.

“Kim and her camp will deny that she wasn’t invited by saying that she had business in LA, but that is a lie. She would [have] done anything to be there with all the A-listers.”
“Anna hates Kim. Why would she be invited to the event? It is all the biggest stars in the world and Kim doesn’t fit that bill at all.”

Hahaha, you suck Kim Kardashian. Of course I’d feel differently if the party were at a natural history museum, because if movies have taught me anything, it’s that mummies come to life and start killing everyone whenever there’s a real fancy party in a natural history museum, and Kim Kardashian doesn’t look very hard to catch.