Kylie Jenner Graduation Party Hosted By Ryan Seacrest

Ryan Seacrest hosted a high school graduation party for Kylie Jennerwhere he pretended heliked girlsand Kylie pretended Laurel Springs is a real place. Laurel Springs High School diplomasare the Hollywood equivalent of becoming a Universal Life Church minister so you can... read more

Kim Kardashian Morning Rituals

Kim Kardashian crawling out of a ditch is a reminder of just how poor serial killers have become at finishing off their truck stop prey. Nobody takes pride in their work anymore. It's possible the scent of money brought her back from the great whore beyond. It's like... read more

Kim Kardashian Smothered Music To Death In Its Crib

Sinead O'Connor has declared Kim Kardashian's tits on the cover of Rolling Stone magazines as an official end to music as we know it. in the very least, O'Connorseems to have missed Rolling Stone covers of the Boston Marathon bomber looking like a sexy James Dean and... read more

Kim Kardashian Thrown On Trash Heap

Kim Kardashian did a photo shoot for some Euro trash website looking like a dead hooker who just got dumped out of the trunk of a Buick. It appears she has gone from having a fat ass to having a fat ass. Like she's overweight. We're talking 4'8" 170. Her incredibly not... read more

Kardashian Sisters Form a Sexually Up For Anything Megazord

The Kardashian sisters stick together through their first three marriages and first five abortions. It's liturgyrepeated since their tween days deadlifting kettle-bells with their sphincter muscles in the family dojo. Seeing the fatinjectedsisters in tight white was like... read more

Kim Kardashian's Master Class And Shit Around The Web

Toiletry bag itemKim Kardashian gave her lecture on the objectification of women and other topics thereby being further legitimized. She talked about what it was like to be used as spank material and what the best lighting is for a selfie. She also says that she didn't... read more

Kim Kardashian Prepares to Breast Feed London

Seeing Kim Kardashian play London with her pregnancy boobs reminds us that hookers don't get maternity leave. I'm sure SCOTUS is on that. If Kim's tits disappear from public view for more than twenty-four hours, she ceases to be a real girl and goes back to being a wood... read more

Kim Kardashian Ted Talks

NPR listeners were outraged when Kim Kardashian was invited on the station to speak intelligently, causing NPR listeners to not be able to casually mention that brilliantthing they heard this morning on NPR to their friends, rendering the entire listening process moot.... read more

Kim And Kanye Spawning

Kim Kardashian and her super notgay husband are having another child. The people who found the God Particle continue donating to Planned Parenthood. Kim has another eight months of being club hot and you can't wash jizz out of your hair forever plus your ass hurts.... read more

Kim And Kanye Ruin Disneyland And Shit Around The Web

Human bowel polyps Kim Kardashian and Kanye West celebrated the birth of North West by taking over regions of Disneyland and making every other child in the Magical Kingdom suffer the wrath of their selfie and show hogging narcissism. I'm glad Walt is dead. I mean, just... read more

Kim Kardashian Seems Fatter

Kim Kardashian suffered the barbs of callous detractors who called her fatty whale names during her first pregnancy when she packed on two metric tons of baby and residual semen weight. The ridiculing was so painful that Jaime King cried for five hours because she was... read more

Kim Kardashian Rents Out Staples Center

Kim Kardashian went deep pockets for Kanye West's birthday, renting out Staple's Center and organizing a basketball game for Kanye and friends Tyga and Justin Bieber and NBA stars John Wall and James Harden. John Legend sang the National Anthem because patriotism and... read more