Kanye West Impromptu Swan

Kim Kardashian prompted her social media assistant to Tweet that Kanye West jumped out of bed to perform a concert in the Armenian capital city. That crazy impetuous fool. Crazy night! Kanye wakes me up & says he's doing a free concert in Yerevan, Armenia! I throw on sweats & we go! Nary a phrase of that is the least bit believable. Black men who bolt unannounced into the streets of Armenia don't fare well....read more

The Kardashian Genocide Episode

Kim Kardashian and The Big One got decked out for a visit to the Armenian Genocide memorial, it was like their Oscars. Their reality show camera crew and entourage were kept at a respectful six foot distance in honor of the great loss of lives. Also, they were tired of being pelted by rocks and cigarette butts. Khloe imagined a world without chimichangas providing her the perfect single tear for the solemn moment....read more

Khardashians Celebrate Genocide

The Kardashians headed to Armeniato honor the 100th anniversary of the 1915 Armenian genocide where anywhere from several hundred thousand to several million ethnic Armenians perished so that System of a Down could someday have arcane song lyrics. Genocide took a back seat on this day when Khloe Kardashian and Kim Kardashian and Kanye West and a camera crew landed in Armenia for a ten day trip visiting museums and...read more

Artist Remains Poor

Some Banksy discipleerected novelty signs across popular destinations in Los Angeles including the Kardashian owned DASH clothing store which read "No Kardashian Parking." I tend to generalize artists as a loose group of self-indulged assholes who live off the misplaced kindness of others. But I also believe that in the specific. Why do you have this much time and given those signs cost $40 bucks a pop I'd like to...read more

Rob Kardashian Hanging By A Thread

Rob Kardashian is either a fat recluse who needs help or a normal guy who appears this way compared to the rest of his family. Kris Jenner spoke about his condition on a recent episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians: "I've gotten a few reports that he's been spending a lot of money and locking himself up in his room a lot and not really coming out... I'm just worried about what's going on...I feel like if I don't...read more

Kim Kardashian Flowerless

Kim Kardashian made a phone call to her straight husband Kanye West on her TV show which will not be on the air until 2037. She announced there is something wrong with the reproductive segments of her businessand it might prohibit her from having more children: "I'm trying to get a hold of Kanye cause I just came from my fertility doctor and they need me to go into surgery to kind of clear out something in my uterus."...read more

Jaime King Seems Acutely Sensitive

Jaime King claims that witnessingKim Kardashian bashed online for being huge and pregnant at the Met Ball two years ago made her cry for five hours. That seems like an awful long time. Especially when learning about The Holocaust in school only elicited a mild grimace. It was so stunning to me that people thought that that was okay -- not only okay but they condoned it.They would not even think about the way it would...read more

Rob Kardashian Deconstructed

The Kardashian whoremachine is floating a few trial balloons as reasons why Rob Kardashian referred to his sister Kim on Twitter as a lying manipulative murderous bitch. According to sources that are almost certainly Kris Jenner's media team, Rob Kardashian is just a silly prankster who loves practical jokes. Funny gags like eating disorders, depression, ditching his sister's wedding, punching women, and cutting sock...read more

Rob Kardashian On the Run And Shit Around The Web

Rob Kardashian called his sister Kim out for being a sociopathic murderer. Either he's right or he's wrong. Either way, he's dead. Read all about Rob getting Gone Girled. (TMZ) Start your week off right, with girls with giant boobs. (The Chive) Summer St. Claire shows her topless bug yums in the great outdoors. (Egotastic) Megan Fox models in a sheer bodysuit for a Korean skincare line. (Drunken Stepfather) Lauren...read more

Rob Kardashian In A Twist

Rob Kardashian posted a photo of the evil manipulative chick from Gone Girl along with the caption "This is my sister Kim, the bitch from Gone Girl." Curiously, Rob's Instagram page consists solely of this photo because he eitherhas body dysmorphia or nobody likes him enough to take pictures. After posting the photo Rob then unfollowed his entire family on Instagram like a motherfucking boss. I thought posting cryptic...read more

North West Knows What's What (VIDEO)

The new $100 million deal with E! is done. Promo pieces used to bump the deal are no longer needed. Like North West. She's staging furniture for an open house. The home sells, that swank divans go back to the show room. North isn't even two and she knows her time has passed. She used to be cradled in fur. Now she's desperately hanging on to luggage so she's not left behind at LAX. Who's that bitch snaking a ride? Oh,...read more

Kim Kardashian Seems Modest

Kim Kardashian showed her appreciation for the new fat contract from E! by nearly baring her breasts on the new Keeping Up with the Kardashians season. This as opposed to baring her breasts for half a dozen cheap magazines in the past few months and sailors in the port of Long Beach for $50 a peekaboo. I applaud the producers for trying to come up with something worth watching. Tits. Screaming. Revelations. And a pan...read more

Kanye West Still Dresses His Bride

It's creepy that your husband lays out and approves your clothes at thirty-four, even if it does bring back childhood memories of hosting dad's client friends. It's International Women's Day. Time to lay out some ground rules. Rule one, stop dressing me like a fuck toy. Show off my tits and ass, fine. But I don't need to look like the mountain goat all the other goats hump because she's got her hoof caught in the...read more

Kim Kardashian Has Sex 500 Times a Day (VIDEO)

Kim Kardashian's claim that she has sex with Kanye five hundred times a day seems exaggerated. It's probably closer to fifty and only some of that is Kanye. That's entire reason for the bakery Turn-O-Matic tickets at the entrance to Kim's fuck cave. Plausible deniability. Also to stop vehicles from ramming. Kim's revelation comes in the latest promo for her sister-whores program which officially surpasses the nine...read more

Kim Kardashian Blond Seems 10 Percent Less Craven

In France to discuss the social repercussions from trans-African Muslim population resettlement, Kardashian went platinum blond so she could have but five minutes break from people referring to her as that brunette whore who queefs ingots. She looks particularly emotional. Like the dude who made Chappie feel real feelings kicked her in the cooey with some activation dust. She just seems so real now. It's almost eerie....read more