Kim Kardashian Gets Earth Day

There's something comforting in never having to wonder what the whore is planning. It's whore stuff. Mollusks have more complex agendas than Kim Kardashian who posted a photo of herself in a bikini against a green backdrop to honor earth day while pushing her book of... read more

Amy Schumer Prays to False Gods

Nobody works harder than Amy Schumer to promote her show. Schumer threw herself mockingly on the ground before Kim Kardashian and Kanye West as they entered the Time Magazine 100 Most Influential Persons Gala to be honored for helping the magazine sell a few more copies... read more

Kim Kardashian Cropped

Kim Kardashian's likeness was blurred out of an ultra-orthodox newspaper in Israel because super religious Jews believe that pictures of skin revealing women inherently make them seem like whores. You could argue the general religious point, but since the actual example... read more

Kanye West Impromptu Swan

Kim Kardashian prompted her social media assistant to Tweet that Kanye West jumped out of bed to perform a concert in the Armenian capital city. That crazy impetuous fool. Crazy night! Kanye wakes me up & says he's doing a free concert in Yerevan, Armenia! I throw on... read more

The Kardashian Genocide Episode

Kim Kardashian and The Big One got decked out for a visit to the Armenian Genocide memorial, it was like their Oscars. Their reality show camera crew and entourage were kept at a respectful six foot distance in honor of the great loss of lives. Also, they were tired of... read more

Khardashians Celebrate Genocide

The Kardashians headed to Armeniato honor the 100th anniversary of the 1915 Armenian genocide where anywhere from several hundred thousand to several million ethnic Armenians perished so that System of a Down could someday have arcane song lyrics. Genocide took a back... read more

Artist Remains Poor

Some Banksy discipleerected novelty signs across popular destinations in Los Angeles including the Kardashian owned DASH clothing store which read "No Kardashian Parking." I tend to generalize artists as a loose group of self-indulged assholes who live off the misplaced... read more

Rob Kardashian Hanging By A Thread

Rob Kardashian is either a fat recluse who needs help or a normal guy who appears this way compared to the rest of his family. Kris Jenner spoke about his condition on a recent episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians: "I've gotten a few reports that he's been spending... read more

Kim Kardashian Flowerless

Kim Kardashian made a phone call to her straight husband Kanye West on her TV show which will not be on the air until 2037. She announced there is something wrong with the reproductive segments of her businessand it might prohibit her from having more children: "I'm... read more

Jaime King Seems Acutely Sensitive

Jaime King claims that witnessingKim Kardashian bashed online for being huge and pregnant at the Met Ball two years ago made her cry for five hours. That seems like an awful long time. Especially when learning about The Holocaust in school only elicited a mild grimace.... read more

Rob Kardashian Deconstructed

The Kardashian whoremachine is floating a few trial balloons as reasons why Rob Kardashian referred to his sister Kim on Twitter as a lying manipulative murderous bitch. According to sources that are almost certainly Kris Jenner's media team, Rob Kardashian is just a... read more

Rob Kardashian On the Run And Shit Around The Web

Rob Kardashian called his sister Kim out for being a sociopathic murderer. Either he's right or he's wrong. Either way, he's dead. Read all about Rob getting Gone Girled. (TMZ) Start your week off right, with girls with giant boobs. (The Chive) Summer St. Claire shows... read more