Charlie Sheen Slams Kim Kardashian, Why Not

Charlie Sheen went on a Twitter rant while sober people were sleeping about an at best second hand story regardingKim Kardashian. It centered around herreportedly denying a six year old girl an autograph. This is according to his friend C Thomas Howell who nobody knew had a drug problemuntil now, although it's hard to discern if Sheen was talking to the actual Howell or shadow people. If the story is true the rant...

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Kim Kardashian And Kanye West Sell Jeans

If you've ever thought to yourself, damn, I'd love to splash chowder across Kim Kardashian's tits over the hood of my car then buy myself some $2600 French man trousers, this advertisement is for you. I say it's even sexier because a loving husband and his still wife are playing master and servant. Third marriages based in blind greed and anal cream piesare hot. French haute couture suddenly becomes relatable when you...

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Kim Kardashian Jugs Are Her Curriculum Vitae

Sometimes, you see somebody getting out of a six-figure car and you think to yourself, I wonder how they got so big. There's no need for questions with Kim Kardashian. I like that about her. That dwarf can be stationed any of of the possible 360 degrees of rotation and you can at least spot how she afforded the custom Rover. If her cracks could speak, you'd learn about the origins of the remainder of her fortune. It's...

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I Always Knew Less People Gave A Shit

Instagram notified a bunch of celebrities their accounts were being Purged, meaning some of their bogus followers were being deleted. Kim Kardashian lost 1.3 million pretend fans in a few hours, Rihanna 1.2, and Katy Perry 300,000 because her people are wholesome and less like obvious Spam Bots. Humans are easily swayed. You tell them you're popular and just like that you are. Let alone you don't do anything besides...read more

Kim Kardashian Busting Cleavage In Leotard With See Through Skirt At Diamond Ball

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI/FameFlynet [gallery id="2655"]

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Kim Kardashian Divinely Fat

Kim Kardashianbelieves God was trying to teach her a lesson when she gained fifty pounds while pregnantand ithad nothing to do with her Immaculate Consumption of Ben & Jerry's or gluten free Dorritos Locos. In fact Kim was so fatigued during the process she couldn't even formulatean intelligent sentence: "I'd think God was doing this for a reason.He was saying: 'Kim, you think you're so hot, but look what I can do...

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Kim Kardashian Less Relevant When Clothed

Kim Kardashian showed up dressedto celebrate the release of that magazine that ran her naked Photoshopped pictures, the clothes rendering herself instantly nine times less worthwhile than baseline. Kim Kardashian has been gifted the talent of being shamelessly naked and covered in oil, or spunk, if you can happen to afford the platinum package. Forsaking her gift runs the risk of angering the gods who tapped who with...

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Kim And Kanye Most Liked In History

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West's wedding photo got 2.4 million Likes on Instagram, the most of 2014 and the most ever for a photo on Instagram. To be fair it was a slow year. Scores of retarded teens and the unemployed had to wade through countless boring shots documenting many state's first Gay Marriages, the discovery of the oldest Roman Temple on record, a bunch of stem cell stuff, some Higgs-Boson shit, a Super...

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Kim Kardashian Surveys the Troops Abroad

With so much riding on current U.S. armed forces forward positioning in the Middle East, it only made sense to dispatch Kim Kardashian dressed like somebody her stylist saw in an old USO magazine to Abu Dahbi to assess our military state of readiness. Kim toured Persian Gulf region arsenal and met with soldiers each of whom she promised could cream pie her enormous bunghole if they destroyed ISIS and went on to become...

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North West: Stripper Baby And Shit Around The Web

Kim Kardashian said she will be proud when North West inevitably also poses nude. She also said she has a bunch of other hopes for her daughter, but who honestly pays attention once a mom says she can't wait for her toddler to get naked for the cameras. Read all about Kim's wonderful parenting. (The Superficial) Iggy Azalea is not impressed by Eminem's rape threats. (TMZ) Hey, wanna see Christina Milian's nipple? (...

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Kim Is No Angelina And Shit Around The Web

Unctuous ass model Kim Kardashian tried to be like Angelina Jolie and adopt a poor kid from Thailand but after a few minutes of personal reflection, the kid chose third world shithole and malnourishment over a life with Kim. From the mouths of babes. Read all about Kim's motherhood rejection. (The Superficial) Motherfucking Jose Canseco was lying about his finger falling off. (TMZ) Luci Ford wears a see-through bra...

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Kim Kardashian In a Body Condom in Australia

Soft-brained people on all continents are buying up hundreds of millions of dollar worth of celebrity perfume. I've never in my entire life wanted to smell like anybody else. I've occasionally witnessed adult content where I've thought packing a dick the size of a viking broad sword might be kind of groovy, but I never wanted to arrive at a venue and smile confidently as people told me I reeked of beef sweat and...

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Kim Kardashian Boobs Dine Out At Icebergs

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI [gallery id="2776"]

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Kylie Jenner A Chip Off the Old Titty Block

If you're going for the passed around the reef mermaid look, you could do worse than Kylie Jenner's new hair extension line. Kylie stood next to her sister Kim with every indicator of a twinsies moment save for Kylie hoisting a Cali license plate I2WHORE. Outside of cancer patients and background dancers for Christina Aguilera, I'm not sure why hair extensions exist. I understand tit jobs, but I'm not sure many rich...

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Kim Kardashian Naked and Unpaid, What the Fuck Happened to America?

Kim Kardashian was not paid for her Charlie McCarthy like like full frontal cover shoot for Paper Magazine since Paper Magazine is not a legitimate magazine and does not have the money to pay their cover models. Hence their willingness to put a lubed up silicon injected case of steatopygia on their cover. The New Yorker and Buttman passed because they have standards. Paper Magazine would gladly slap James Franco...read more