By Lex September 04, 2013 @ 12:12 PM
In an upcoming episode of the heavily staged reality show Keeping Up With the Kardashians, a still pregnant Kim talks about wanting to pose for Playboy again after she pops out her demon seed (the bastard to become known as North). This even though she has said before she was uncomfortable doing her last Playboy shoot. I think that had something to do with taking a check for getting naked when her mama raised her to always get cash. I must admit, as much as I find her a despicable piece of human trafficked waste, I’d pay to see Kim’s new mom tits. I’d also pay to see her locked in a motel room where a Spanish midget dressed in a devil costume snaps her repeatedly with a wet towel. I can’t possibly rank those two.
You can see Kim in her original Playboy shoot HERE.
Photo Credit: Getty, WENN
By Jack August 22, 2013 @ 1:33 PM
On a clip from an upcoming episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians, Kim K. contemplates eating her placenta. The preggers slutbag asked the family cook if he had ever cooked placenta. They then discuss the questionable and disgusting practice of eating the mucus filled afterbirth. Supposedly it helps with post-partum depression and all that other lady crap. Whether or not she went through with consumption is unknown. Placenta eating is just the latest in a series of bullshit “all-natural” crap that rich women think is good for you. Eating your placenta is something cats do because they can’t hunt and kill their own meals before and after giving birth. They do it to survive. Women on reality shows do it to get ratings. Why can’t rich women have babies high on drugs and full of shame at the gross stickiness of it all like God intended? Kim’s placenta should’ve been dumped into the same red medical waste bin where the Kardashians store their previously terminated pregnancies and Khloe’s real teeth.
By Travis August 22, 2013 @ 10:00 AM
Kylie Jenner turned 16-years old back on August 10, and she posted the above image of her brand new Mercedes G Class SUV to Instagram to remind everyone that her family is wealthier than everyone else because her older sister, Kim Kardashian, made a sex tape. But the fun didn’t stop with the Mercedes or her big Sweet 16 party that featured Drake and Big Sean performing for 150 of her “friends.”
Kris Jenner also sent each guest home with a gift bag valued at more than $1,000, according to TMZ, as they all contained 808 Headphones, iPod speakers, the Kardashians’ own makeup line and those expensive socks that Rob Kardashian is making so he can tell people he’s a fashion designer.
Unfortunately, the bags did not contain any ricin or flesh-eating bacteria, as that would have been the greatest gift to the rest of us.
By Travis August 20, 2013 @ 9:00 AM
One of the only redeeming qualities that Kanye West has had is the fact that he seems like he despises Kris Jenner, which is hilarious because she tries so hard to make everyone believe that her life and family are perfect, and she totally doesn’t look at her daughters and grandkids and see them as piles of cash. But fuck that remaining shred of Kanye’s humanity, because he recorded an interview for The Kris Jenner Show yesterday that will air on Friday.
According to the Daily Mail, Kanye joked that he was so in love with Kim Kardashian that he considered becoming an athlete, and people laughed because his baby’s mother used to date Reggie Bush and Miles Austin, and she was married to the chromosome-deficient Kris Humphries. And what better way to say you love someone than by making jokes about all the people she’s had sex with in front of her own mother and the 16 people who watch her show?
(Photo Credit: Getty)
By Lex August 08, 2013 @ 11:38 AM
Kim Kardashian isn’t going to show herself until she loses some of the twenty stones she put on in baby weight carrying her first bastard baby ever to full term. So, like March, 2017. But staying out of the public eye hasn’t been easy for Kim. So, she went on Keek to show off her heavily made up face and stick out her tongue causing four different central African tribal princes to ejaculate in their cloths. Another 500,000 people checked her out on social media. Because she’s Kim Kardashian. She attracts both stupid and cash at startling rates.
By Lex August 06, 2013 @ 3:15 PM
While some people see births and marriages and divorces and death as stressful life cycle events, the Kardashians see these are money making opportunities. No sooner has Kim delivered her bastard baby that she’s announced plans to get together with her fashion buddies and start a fashion line for babies.
“It is very cute to design for babies. [It would be] soft colors, pastels, something very dreamy and still trendy,” said Kim’s designer friend Lloyd Klein, trying to sound gayer than any gay man ever before him.
This baby clothing line will be pretentious and stupid and baseless and Kim will make millions from it. Because that’s how nature takes money from dumb people and transfers it to people who are just as dumb but far more ambitious.