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Kim Is No Angelina And Shit Around The Web

Unctuous ass model Kim Kardashian tried to be like Angelina Jolie and adopt a poor kid from Thailand but after a few minutes of personal reflection, the kid chose third world shithole and malnourishment over a life with Kim. From the mouths of babes. Read all about Kim's motherhood rejection. (The Superficial) Motherfucking Jose Canseco was lying about his finger falling off. (TMZ) Luci Ford wears a see-through bra...read more

Kim Kardashian In a Body Condom in Australia

Soft-brained people on all continents are buying up hundreds of millions of dollar worth of celebrity perfume. I've never in my entire life wanted to smell like anybody else. I've occasionally witnessed adult content where I've thought packing a dick the size of a viking broad sword might be kind of groovy, but I never wanted to arrive at a venue and smile confidently as people told me I reeked of beef sweat and...read more

Kim Kardashian Boobs Dine Out At Icebergs

Photo Credit: AKM-GSIread more

Kylie Jenner A Chip Off the Old Titty Block

If you're going for the passed around the reef mermaid look, you could do worse than Kylie Jenner's new hair extension line. Kylie stood next to her sister Kim with every indicator of a twinsies moment save for Kylie hoisting a Cali license plate I2WHORE. Outside of cancer patients and background dancers for Christina Aguilera, I'm not sure why hair extensions exist. I understand tit jobs, but I'm not sure many rich...read more

Kim Kardashian Naked and Unpaid, What the Fuck Happened to America?

Kim Kardashian was not paid for her Charlie McCarthy like like full frontal cover shoot for Paper Magazine since Paper Magazine is not a legitimate magazine and does not have the money to pay their cover models. Hence their willingness to put a lubed up silicon injected case of steatopygia on their cover. The New Yorker and Buttman passed because they have standards. Paper Magazine would gladly slap James Franco...read more

Kim Kardashian Nude, It's Exactly As You Didn't Imagine

I could read the part where Kim Kardashian is such a self-aware laugh riot who felt emboldened and liberated by having her Photoshopped bare ass appear in a New York rag, but in homage to Kim, I'm pretending reading is boring and hurts my head. Also, it saved me two minutes to which I applied my Learning Annex intro to Photoshop skills of my own. A little nip here, a tuck there, and suddenly you have the perfect...read more

Crowd Favorites

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Kim Kardashian's Kid Trying to Tell Us Something

I'm no psychologist, but I once got paid two hundred bucks for a grad student to ask me an alarmingly large number of questions about sexual attraction to inanimate objects. This $10K Hermes handbag the Belgian nannies forced North West to paint for her mom's birthday isn't just the random machinations of a toddler. There's something dangerous ruminating in that imprisoned brain of the first daughter-whore. Note the...read more

Kim Kardashian Tits Can Sell Anything

This wee porn star will go anywhere at any time for any filthy large amount of money. Long after the Apocalypse Kim will still be crisscrossing Old New York vacuuming up precious metals like a whore version of Wall-E. With the right encouragement Kim could've easily become an IHOP waitress or heart donor instead a pair of tits in heels. Ambition really is a double edged sword that you need to think twice before...read more

Mothers Against Whores Target Kardashians

An online petition is circulating to remove a line of Kardashian Kids clothes from Babies 'R Us. The items in question include a fake leather mini skirt with attached diaper cover and a fake fur animal print vest. The clothes are designed for children aged 0-24 months meaning you can mold your baby girl into a skank fresh out of the womb. Most mothers find it offensive a chick famous for getting bent over in front of...read more

Kim Kardashian Breasts Ruin Bruce Jenner's Birthday

Why not show a man exactly what kind of woman he can never be. On his birthday no less. While Bruce Jenner toils away with the nails and the hair and the rouge and the squeezing his junk tight enough between his legs to maneuver into women's restrictive undergarments, along comes his cunt of a stepdaughter to remind him of the tits he will never have. Science just doesn't offer that yet. Bruce will never know the...read more

Kim K Is The New Lucy And Shit Around The Web

Walking urinal Kim Kardashian compared her reality show to the iconicI Love Lucy 1950's sitcom. Not really compared, she claimed her show was better since it had produced more episodes. I want to get my Ricky Ricardo tux on and slap the collagen out of her lips. Read the latest drivel from this delusional twat. (The Superficial) Bruce Jenner got his nails did all perty. (TMZ) I don't know who Bo Koehler is but I do...read more

Kim Kardashian's Tits Sells Birthday Tickets

Whenever my birthday rolled around, my parents told me I could invite two friends for ice cream and a movie, the latter of which turned out to be a View Master slideshow under a blanket. We couldn't even afford the Grand Canyon reel. It was usually just pictures of a sink hole in Florida my dad would cut from the newspaper and Scotch tape onto a yogurt cap. It wasn't until years later I learned we were't really poor,...read more

Kim Kardashian Assplay Cinema

Sometimes you just want to take your best gal to a weekend matinee. Maybe grandma. Or the nieces and nephews. You don't want to have to explain to a bunch of high fructose corn syrup jacked up grade schoolers where Kim Kardashian ass babies come from. Do you need to go backless at the mall theater? This isn't the seventh grade pool party where you're showing off your newly growing girl body. You're inflated to maximum...read more

Kimye Action Figures And Shit Around The Web

Kanye West And Kim Kardashian have made dolls of themselves for North West to play with. You have to wonder if the Kanye doll is a 'Betsy Wetsy' type that can pee in Kim's mouth. You know, realistic play is important. I think I'm going to make me some Kimye voodoo dolls. (TMZ) Surprisingly, years of ass to mouth didn't turn Sasha Grey into a feminist. (Huffington Post) Helen Flanagan has some big 'ol titty balls. (...read more

Kim Kardahian, Not Without My Baby!

I've often forgotten I have a girlfriend when I'm traveling abroad. Usually intentionally. What happens in a Romanian whorehouse not only stays there, for an extra twenty dollars American you can have everybody who might betray your silence drowned in a chemically tainted lake. Kim Kardashian's laughing off suggestions she temporarily forgot baby North in a Parisian hotel when checking out after Fashion Week. I'm not...read more