Kim Kardashian Got Knocked Up and Nobody Noticed

What if you were an attention whore and got pregnant and nobody noticed? It's like it never really happened. News that Kim Kardashian was now carryingfuture ex-husband rapper baby number two made it about a tenth of a parsec across the Internet before Vagina Dad's... read more

Bruce Jenner Ready for the Butcher

Bruce Jenner went on Keeping Up With The Kardashians to announcehe has made an appointment to fully transition into being a woman.This is a watershed moment for the rights of former Olympic gold medalists to live as the gender they super really want to. Think about James... read more

Kim Kardashian Nude in Just Body Paint (VIDEO)

Kim Kardashian journeyed to the desert to find herself and let a bunch of dudes paint her and photograph her naked. Fucking peyote. Sorry, I mean, fucking big fat stack of cash. Kim explained how this particular project fits her goal "to be nude and do all this cool... read more

Kim Kardashian Topless Selfies Leaked by a Topless Kim Kardashian

There's an ease in knowing exactly what you are. You are tits and ass. You make a fortune being tits and ass. In a silver box your mom keeps a note she wrote when you were born hoping someday you'd grow up to be tits and ass. Kim Kardashian didn't hesitate when selecting... read more

Kardashian Girls Leave No Money on the Table (VIDEO)

If you're wondering why Vagina Dad's girl children were not available to appear on the Diane Sawyer interview, it's because they were holding back on an E! two night special of their own documenting their own reactions to Jenner's gender bending announcement. There are... read more

Kim Kardashian Gets Earth Day

There's something comforting in never having to wonder what the whore is planning. It's whore stuff. Mollusks have more complex agendas than Kim Kardashian who posted a photo of herself in a bikini against a green backdrop to honor earth day while pushing her book of... read more

Amy Schumer Prays to False Gods

Nobody works harder than Amy Schumer to promote her show. Schumer threw herself mockingly on the ground before Kim Kardashian and Kanye West as they entered the Time Magazine 100 Most Influential Persons Gala to be honored for helping the magazine sell a few more copies... read more

Kim Kardashian Cropped

Kim Kardashian's likeness was blurred out of an ultra-orthodox newspaper in Israel because super religious Jews believe that pictures of skin revealing women inherently make them seem like whores. You could argue the general religious point, but since the actual example... read more

Kanye West Impromptu Swan

Kim Kardashian prompted her social media assistant to Tweet that Kanye West jumped out of bed to perform a concert in the Armenian capital city. That crazy impetuous fool. Crazy night! Kanye wakes me up & says he's doing a free concert in Yerevan, Armenia! I throw on... read more

The Kardashian Genocide Episode

Kim Kardashian and The Big One got decked out for a visit to the Armenian Genocide memorial, it was like their Oscars. Their reality show camera crew and entourage were kept at a respectful six foot distance in honor of the great loss of lives. Also, they were tired of... read more

Khardashians Celebrate Genocide

The Kardashians headed to Armeniato honor the 100th anniversary of the 1915 Armenian genocide where anywhere from several hundred thousand to several million ethnic Armenians perished so that System of a Down could someday have arcane song lyrics. Genocide took a back... read more

Artist Remains Poor

Some Banksy discipleerected novelty signs across popular destinations in Los Angeles including the Kardashian owned DASH clothing store which read "No Kardashian Parking." I tend to generalize artists as a loose group of self-indulged assholes who live off the misplaced... read more