Kim Kardashian Has Sex 500 Times a Day (VIDEO)

Kim Kardashian's claim that she has sex with Kanye five hundred times a day seems exaggerated. It's probably closer to fifty and only some of that is Kanye. That's entire reason for the bakery Turn-O-Matic tickets at the entrance to Kim's fuck cave. Plausible... read more

Kim Kardashian Blond Seems 10 Percent Less Craven

In France to discuss the social repercussions from trans-African Muslim population resettlement, Kardashian went platinum blond so she could have but five minutes break from people referring to her as that brunette whore who queefs ingots. She looks particularly... read more

Kim Kardashian Making More Apps

Kim Kardashian is on the cover of AdWeek. Probably not related to AdWeek naming her whoring and shoppingmobile game for tweens the hottest app of the year. Major media is more incestuous than the Duggars. You know dad is creating those new grandkids. The article allows... read more

Kanye Grieves Like No Other

Sometimes you peel back the layers on a guy you just assumed was an asshole and you're able to confirm your suspicions. I'd recommend this for days when there's nothing good on TV. Kanye West broke down in tears on BBC radio talking about the recent death of his fashion... read more

Kardashians Crashing More Vehicles

Every time you accidentally catch a glimpse of TMZ they're reporting on a member of this family crashing a vehicle. Given this group ispatently uninteresting and in desperate need of material I think it's fair to posit they're doing it on purposelike when a dog shits on... read more

Kim Kardashian Super Cleavy While Heading To SNL 40th Anniversary

Photo Credit: Splash [gallery id="2384"] read more

Yeezy's Pedophile Booty Dreams Come to Life

I don't know what the fuck Kanye was selling last night. I think it was blank faced children in nude bodysuits. A horde of stolen Ukrainian teen sex slaves came marching out in suede booties to the sound of Kanye West's voice booming on about engineering greatness once... read more

Baby North Got Her First Fur

People who love animals a whole lot are mortified that Kim Kardashian purchased fur for her gentle bastard daughter. I believe that's badger. Protestors fail to understand Kim's plan to shuffle North out into the woods to live an existence away from cameras and... read more

Kim Kardashian Opens Wide

Kim Kardashian's tits are the window to her soul. The porn star opened her sanctuary of deep thoughts for an interview conducted by Cara Delevingne. Should you ever be interviewed by a rich British chick who's finger banging your half-sister, forget the pretense. She... read more

Cara Delevingne Working Kendall and Kylie

This savvy vagina hunter is barely lifting a finger these days. Her snatch is aerosolizing scents programmed to intoxicate illiterate young women within a thirty click radius. Her kill list reads like the VIP rolls inside the Hollywood Red Tent. It must be some kind of... read more

Kim Kardashian Nude in the Crease

Will I be forced to give Kim Kardashian credit for appearing creviced and pucker skinned naked in Love Magazine? Fuck, she's not even wearing eyebrows. This is like POV German porn. Did they take her tits and put them on her younger sister in those earlier pictures? Was... read more

Kendall Jenner Topless With Somebody Else's Tits

I thought the Supreme Court or the Justice League or Alyssa Milano's mom made it illegal to put fake bare tits on the faces of famous people. Maybe the law states that if you get paid in fat dollars the commandos can't bust in through the windows and confiscate the... read more