Kim Kardashian Book Of Selfies May Contain Sex Pics

Kim Kardashian's book of selfies is set to rock the publishing world just in time for Christmas. If that Pulitzer prize nominated fucker isn't peeking out of my stocking on the morning of December 25, I'm going to curb stomp Santa and make his reindeer watch. You could skip the book and just look at Kim's social media accounts for her maggot harvest of staged candid portraits, but Kim wouldn't be the top money whore...read more

Kardashians Boycott Their Own Show

Kim, Khloe and Kourtney Kardashian are refusing to film the new season of their show until the person stealing their jewelry is caught. It is unclear if this is a stunt born of desperation for material or if they have hidden their baubles to collect insurance money as is the want of their grifter lineage. It's also possible someone is actually stealing their shit and this is the first ostensibly genuine ordeal to ever...read more

Kim Kardashian's Ass Attracts Police Attention

Two things. First, you can never blame a guy for staring at Kim Kardashian's ass. It belongs in The Collector's glass showcase. I don't care if it's Obama, a cop, me, you, or even Kevin Spacey. We're all looking. Second, deep down, every guy thinks he can score with Kim Kardashian. Not logically. You know you need a heaping load of cash and a high celebrity or sports profile to enter Ass Oz. But, her persona screams...read more

Kim Kardashian Is One Of Us

Ughhhh my hips and butt are huge now! They were big to begin with. Women have long employed self-effacing criticism as the primary means of introduction. It's a social bonding precursor. I'm fat. I hate myself. Therefore, I'm lovable and won't fuck your man so invite me to your coffee klatch. Somebody on Kim's paid social media team figured this dynamic out recently and started Tweeting every-woman posts about needing...read more

Kim Kardashian's Whore App Is Innocent

Ayelet Waldman went on a Twitter rant because her kid got duped by Kim Kardashian's pretend shopping app. The game allows you to buy shit that does not exist, which is a slightly worse bargain than shelling out a thousand bucks for a K Mart clutch with Chanel written on it. Waldman is known for being frustrated by the rigors of domestic life and was actually held at gunpoint in South Asia and forced to procreate. You...read more

Kim Kardashian Topless Wedding Photo

Kim Kardashian posted a topless photo of herself getting fitted for a wedding dress. Kim was forced to wait for several hours as her Beverly Hills designers kidnapped an old woman from Prague who could hand sew to such extreme convex body measurements. After she completed knitting the extreme dress, the elderly Czech fell ill and passed away within a couple seconds. Secrecy was paramount prior to the official selling...read more

Kim Kardashian and Joe Francis Show Off Their Respective Asses

The jaunty Instagram elf so totally caught Kim Kardashian off-guard when he snapped this candid of her thong ass after only four hours of lighting, prepping and staging. Next to Kim you can see the poor sap who let herself get pregnant by Joe Francis who I thought was doing a dime in Alcatraz for not living up to the Loyal Order of the Water Buffaloes code of conduct. Kim captioned the absolutely candid photo...read more

Kim Kardashian Fucks Hollywood App Raking in the Dough

Fuck you. Kim Kardashian wins again. Her simplistic mobile game designed for the multitude of morons in our midst is set to take in $200 million in revenue by year's end. Kim's take is estimated to be forty-percent of that. That's Wall Street gangster money. In the game, mindless tools who found Farmville too complicated can now be Kim Kardashian, buying clothes, taking modeling gigs, and letting rappers bareback her...read more

Brit Claire Leeson Spent $30K To Look Like Kim Kardashian

These tortured souls who mutilate their bodies to look like famous celebrity whores seem really unclear on the basics of causality. Kim Kardashian isn't famous because she has big tits and an ass, she's famous because Ray J spackled her tits and ass on camera and then Kim's mom sold the sex act to Vivid for the price of her daughter's mortal soul. My cousin found out the hard way you can't put on a Superman costume...read more

Kim Kardashian Is a Scientific Wonder

I can't fathom the engineering science that goes into slamming Kim Kardashian into these tight dresses she keeps wearing. We ought to send some of those skilled girdle artisans down to New Orleans to fortify the levees. There'd be a great YouTube video in showing how all that flesh and skin rash is compacted into a sleek garment. I imagine one of Kim's handlers pops it each evening and Kim whirls about the room like a...read more

Kim Kardashian Goes Braless In The Hamptons

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI, Splashread more

Kim Kardashian's Blond Hair Was Just a Wig, But Her Tits Are Still Real, Right?

Every time Kim Kardashian changes hairstyle, a collective sexual moan emanates from the E! offices down the street. It's a very primal response for the minions living off her tits. When Kim changes hair color, Jesus, there hasn't been such an audible bukkake since the last time Chelsea Handler was cruising executive row trying to launch her talk show. Kim shared a picture of herself with blond hair the other night and...read more

Kim Kardashian Looking Chesty Out To Dinner With Kanye West In West Hollywood

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI, Pacific Coast Newsread more

Hannah Kunkle's Divine Visions of Kim Kardashian

Brooklyn art school graduate Hannah Kunkle was touched with a vision of Kim Kardashian. So she painted. And painted. And when she was done painting, she painted some more. Then she went to a hip little sandwich shop in Park Slope you've never heard of and when she returned home, there were her completed religious works of Kim Kardashian as Shiva, the Santeria, the Pieta, and a bunch of other VIPs of the earthly...read more

Kim Kardashian Shows Off Her Cleavage In New York

Photo Credit: FameFlynet, Pacific Coast Newsread more