07.21.2011 Thursday headlines, with sex tapes and lawsuits

MARILYN MONROE - allegedly is the star of a newly discovered 8mm film showing her having sex when she was 20. The owner is trying to sell it, though hopefully this is just a police sting to identify guys who want to watch a girl who’s been dead for 50 years have sex. (cbs)

SNOOKI AND MIKE TYSON - are 2 of the names being mentioned to face off on ‘Dancing With The Stars’. And hopefully in an assault trial after that. Guess which one is the defendant in my little day dream. (us)

CHARLIE SHEEN - always brags about his sexual prowess, but Bree Olson says they usually had sex just once a day. Surprisingly, that one-a-day limit was not her idea. (sun)

CAPTAIN AMERICA - opens tomorrow and so far 71 percent of the reviews have been good. I wish I could say the same for my Captain America outfit. Those kids were pretty mean as I waited in line to buy my ticket. Fine, be a bunch of jerks, I hate this stupid theater anyway! (rotten tomatoes)

KIM KARDASHIAN - is suing Old Navy for $20 million because she thinks the girl in thier new ad looks too much like her (this girl). Apparently she feels it should be illegal for other girls to have a face. (ny daily news)

12 photos in gallery >

Tags: bree olson, captain america, charlie sheen, kim kardashian, marilyn monroe |

15 Comments

07.08.2011 Kylie Jenner helps set a new low

Kendall Jenner wasn’t alone when she put on a bikini and went to the beach to take some pictures for the paparazzi. Her 13-year-old sister Kylie was there too. Having 2 posts in a row that are Pedo Bear approved is pretty rare, but so are parents who broker pictures of their children tarted up like whores.

(image source = pacific coast)

14 photos in gallery >

Tags: bikini, kim kardashian, kylie jenner, pedo bear approved |

17 Comments

07.08.2011 Kendall Jenner is keeping up nicely

If you don’t remember who Kendall Jenner is, here’s a few hints:

1. She’s 15 yet on a reality show and here we see her in bikini pictures she took in an exclusive deal with a paparazzi agency.
2. She has a muscular black boyfriend.

That second one probably gave it away but yes, she’s a Kardashian. If you’re wondering why she looks nothing like Kim Kardashian, it’s because they have different fathers. If you’re wondering why Khloe Kardashian looks nothing like Kim Kardashian, it’s because her mom apparently doesn’t feel like telling the truth about that yet.

(image source = pacific coast)

33 photos in gallery >

Tags: bikini, kendall jenner, kim kardashian, pedo bear approved |

11 Comments

06.28.2011 Kim Kardashian 2 is disappointing

People have been saying lately that Reggie Bush’s new girlfriend Melissa Molinaro is a mirror image of his ex, Kim Kardashian, but here she is at the dog park and people must be using that now as a polite way to say someone has a big ass. She sorta does sometimes, but not really. I don’t mean to brag but I’m pretty sure I know what Kim Kardashian looks like.

18 photos in gallery >

Tags: kim kardashian, melissa molinaro, reggie bush |

12 Comments

06.16.2011 Kim Kardashians gift registry is as expected

Kim Kardashians wedding registry is now online (until it gets locked you can see it here), and it’s got something for every budget. I’m lying of course. She’s expecting to be lavished in pointless extravagance. The total for the list is $172,000. There’s over $25,000 just in vases.

Some of the highlights include…

- Baccarat crystal vase, $7,850
- Lalique tourbillon vase, $6,500
- Lalique ingrid vase, $4,625
- Lalique Black Orchid vase $4,395
- Lalique Ashtray, $1,100
- Baccarat Mustard Jar, $175
- Christofle silver coffee pot, $1,650
- Christofle silver sugar bowl, $1,000
- Christofle silver creamer, $710
- Lalique perfume bottle, $1,695
- Lalique Wisdom Figurines, $735

Btw, the impressive sounding Wisdom Figurines are the three crystal monkeys in the headline picture. But at least the $1700 perfume bottle is practical. Normally when I buy perfume they just pour it into my hands and I carry it home like that. But if I could put it into a bottle, what a lifesaver that would be!

(note: backup screencap if the registry page gets locked here, and the Halloween wedding date they have listed is just a joke)

Tags: kim kardashian |

18 Comments

06.13.2011 Monday headlines, with pregnant bride Lily Allen

KIM KARDASHIAN - was accused of cheating on her fiance after an NFL player named Brett Lockett told InTouch they’d been having a “physical relationship” for 5 months, but now he admits he’s never actually met her face to face. His dick must be huge. (e!)

SUPER 8 - was number 1 at the box office with $37M, because movie theaters don’t give refunds. (ew)

BOOK OF MORMON - is the musical written by Matt Stone and Trey Parker of ‘South Park’ (amazon has the cast recording on sale for $1.99), and last night it won 9 of the 14 Tony awards it was nominated for, including Best Musical and Best Director for Parker. The other “director” nominees told the actors to face the back wall and just wing it. It was foolish direction in hindsight. (people)

LILY ALLEN - got married this weekend, then announced that she’s 4 months pregnant, then took wedding pictures in a graveyard, yet still got upstaged by her older sister Sarah Owen, who wore this slutty dress. At least according to me. I love sluts! (sun, splash, wenn)