Vanessa Hudgens Naked Selfies, Kim Kardashian Topless Throw Ins As Well, More Celebrity Leaked Photos

Way to fuck up my Saturday night. But, hell, for a chance to see Hope Solo wizard sleeves that even Gandalf would find overblown, not to mention disgusting, I can put down the absinthe. Another round of celebrity photos borrowed from the iCloud which runs about as safe as those old Western banks Butch and Sundance used to rob with a smile was dispersed onto the Internet via the Chans and Reddit re-feeds today. I had...

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Kim Kardashian Making More Babies

According to the celebrity asslinguists at HollywoodLife, Kim Kardashian is over the haters who called her Shamu the last time she got pregnant and all her previously imprisoned fat cells multiplied at rates that made even Ebola jealous. Kim's now ready to have a legitimate baby. A little nugget to add to her collection of future exploited child stars and aborted fetuses Kris buried in the pet cemetery next to the gun...

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No One Loves A Whore And Shit Around The Web

With all the hoopla over the celebrity nude photo leak, one has to wonder, why the fuck did nobody care the many times before celebrity photos and sex videos got shat out across the Internet? I'd say it's because people see Jennifer Lawrence and Kate Upton as lovable sweethearts, while Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton, more like the girls Vegas conventioneers pay to see how far she can take a cucumber in her twat. Read...

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Kardashians Don't Do Well With Silence

Some trumped out outrage is going around the Internet because the Kardashian whorelings were using their cellphones when Common asked for a moment of silence for Ferguson during the VMAs because as a black celebrity, he simply had no choice. While it's easy to focus on a picture of the back-brothel skank disrespecting a moment of silence, perhaps one could remember that the Kardashians donate almost ten percent of a...

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Even These Tired Armenian Whores Couldn't Make the VMAs Interesting

I don't know what the hell happened at most of this year's VMA Awards. I fell asleep when Beyonce was singing something really loud and woke up two hours later and she was still fucking singing. Then she had a staged kiss with Jay Z and slapped him when she saw he was holding a baby she didn't remember having. The show opened strong when everybody got to pretend that Nicki Minaj's wardrobe malfunction wasn't setup or...

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Kim Kardashian Takes An Ass Selfie

Technically, since her staff of eleven was involved in the shot, it's less of a selfie and more of a heavily staged ass sculpture. But if this is any indication of the quality of the photos in Kim Kardashian's selfies coffee table book, expect men masturbating in the reading areas of the Barnes and Noble to rise significantly. There's nothing finer than a short woman with an enormously fat injected ass who's taking a...

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Kim Kardashian Book Of Selfies May Contain Sex Pics

Kim Kardashian's book of selfies is set to rock the publishing world just in time for Christmas. If that Pulitzer prize nominated fucker isn't peeking out of my stocking on the morning of December 25, I'm going to curb stomp Santa and make his reindeer watch. You could skip the book and just look at Kim's social media accounts for her maggot harvest of staged candid portraits, but Kim wouldn't be the top money whore...

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Kardashians Boycott Their Own Show

Kim, Khloe and Kourtney Kardashian are refusing to film the new season of their show until the person stealing their jewelry is caught. It is unclear if this is a stunt born of desperation for material or if they have hidden their baubles to collect insurance money as is the want of their grifter lineage. It's also possible someone is actually stealing their shit and this is the first ostensibly genuine ordeal to ever...

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Kim Kardashian's Ass Attracts Police Attention

Two things. First, you can never blame a guy for staring at Kim Kardashian's ass. It belongs in The Collector's glass showcase. I don't care if it's Obama, a cop, me, you, or even Kevin Spacey. We're all looking. Second, deep down, every guy thinks he can score with Kim Kardashian. Not logically. You know you need a heaping load of cash and a high celebrity or sports profile to enter Ass Oz. But, her persona screams...

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Kim Kardashian Is One Of Us

Ughhhh my hips and butt are huge now! They were big to begin with. Women have long employed self-effacing criticism as the primary means of introduction. It's a social bonding precursor. I'm fat. I hate myself. Therefore, I'm lovable and won't fuck your man so invite me to your coffee klatch. Somebody on Kim's paid social media team figured this dynamic out recently and started Tweeting every-woman posts about needing...

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Kim Kardashian's Whore App Is Innocent

Ayelet Waldman went on a Twitter rant because her kid got duped by Kim Kardashian's pretend shopping app. The game allows you to buy shit that does not exist, which is a slightly worse bargain than shelling out a thousand bucks for a K Mart clutch with Chanel written on it. Waldman is known for being frustrated by the rigors of domestic life and was actually held at gunpoint in South Asia and forced to procreate. You...

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Kim Kardashian Topless Wedding Photo

Kim Kardashian posted a topless photo of herself getting fitted for a wedding dress. Kim was forced to wait for several hours as her Beverly Hills designers kidnapped an old woman from Prague who could hand sew to such extreme convex body measurements. After she completed knitting the extreme dress, the elderly Czech fell ill and passed away within a couple seconds. Secrecy was paramount prior to the official selling...

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Kim Kardashian and Joe Francis Show Off Their Respective Asses

The jaunty Instagram elf so totally caught Kim Kardashian off-guard when he snapped this candid of her thong ass after only four hours of lighting, prepping and staging. Next to Kim you can see the poor sap who let herself get pregnant by Joe Francis who I thought was doing a dime in Alcatraz for not living up to the Loyal Order of the Water Buffaloes code of conduct. Kim captioned the absolutely candid photo...

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Kim Kardashian Fucks Hollywood App Raking in the Dough

Fuck you. Kim Kardashian wins again. Her simplistic mobile game designed for the multitude of morons in our midst is set to take in $200 million in revenue by year's end. Kim's take is estimated to be forty-percent of that. That's Wall Street gangster money. In the game, mindless tools who found Farmville too complicated can now be Kim Kardashian, buying clothes, taking modeling gigs, and letting rappers bareback her...

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Brit Claire Leeson Spent $30K To Look Like Kim Kardashian

These tortured souls who mutilate their bodies to look like famous celebrity whores seem really unclear on the basics of causality. Kim Kardashian isn't famous because she has big tits and an ass, she's famous because Ray J spackled her tits and ass on camera and then Kim's mom sold the sex act to Vivid for the price of her daughter's mortal soul. My cousin found out the hard way you can't put on a Superman costume...

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