Kim Kardashian Up to $700,000 An Hour

When asked about making more money than the President, Babe Ruth told the media, "I've had a better year". Then he plowed his face into snuff and consumed a chili dog while a fat chick barebacked his syphilis encrusted dick. Crude, but more interesting than anything at the political conventions.

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Taylor Swift Stone Cold Busted (VIDEO)

Taylor Swift has vociferously maintained that she had no advanced knowledge that Kanye would malign and objectify her sexually her in his idiotic song, Famous. Swift insists she was shocked and pissed on behalf of herself and all woman-kind when she heard these misogynistic lyrics in Famous:

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Kim Kardashian Poses For Uncle Terry

The Kim Kardashian and Terry Richardson alliance pits together two bigs in the fornication magic business. Kardashian is firmly in the camp of Richardson photo subjects who support him against allegations of improper behavior with models. Though in the context that having a man slap his dick against your face for inspiration is perfectly natural. It's how the plumber used to get to work on the hair clogged drains in...read more

Paris Hilton Created Kim Kardashian And Shit Around The Web

Manhattan Project scientists were reticent about ever discussing their involvement in building a bomb that could destroy the human race. Paris Hilton less so in taking credit for creating Kim Kardashian. The horror. Sorry, I meant, the whore.read more

There's Something Odd About Men's Magazines

The state of men's magazines is flaccid. There are no major publications left available for men who don't wake up concerned with what to wear with the change in seasons. A couple or three corporate giants bought up all the magazines for men and decided that the only way to keep from going under was to be the variation of People magazine where you get to sell expensive watches.read more

Kim Kardashian Calls Taylor Swift A Liar

Taylor Swift got on her Nazi feminist high horse because Kanye West mentioned her in one of his songs. For a chick who has fucked much of Hollywood she's quite the prude:read more

Kim Kardashian Fuckable Posedown

Kim Kardashian was selected to cover GQ magazine's Love Sex and Madness edition wherein the periodical uses pre-screened responses from a celebrity's public relations representatives to provide relationship advice to their softly metrosexual readers. GQ promises this is Kim Kardashian as you've never seen her before. So clothes and no black dick in her ass.read more

Helen Mirren Applauds Kim Kardashian

Dame Helen Mirren effusively praised groundbreaking female entertainers of the past thirty years who have given the middle finger to authority. She noted Pretenders front woman Chrissie Hynde, Joan Jett, Bonnie Raitt, and Pussy Riot as invaluable members of the club of women who broke open conformity barriers. Mirren added Kim Kardashian to her list of notables despite her lack of any achievement outside of being a...read more

Kim Kardashian Sues Man For Being a Publicity Whore

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are preparing a legal suit against that bodyguard from the Met Gala who was fired on the spot by West for personally conversing with his porn star wife pre-event. Steve Stanilus took his pink slip and made forthwith to the Daily Mail for a tell all interview about Kim and Kanye. That violated Paragraph 1 of his signed NDA which states in 24 point Impact Bold font, shut the fuck up you...read more

Kim Kardashian Has an Answer For Everything

You thought Kim Kardashian shared photos of her tits and tongue because she's an attention machine whose brand of feminism calls for commercializing her gross level fuckability. You're only mostly right. Kardashian posted a ton of black and white late night Cinemax selfies from her weekend in Miami, careful to explain the real reason behind the sharing:

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Kardashians Warming Up to Rob's Whore

Overtures of peace are being made between the Kardashians and Still Fat Rob's stripper fiancee, Blac Chyna. Pick your battles. There's an ass and tit implanted whore at the gate. Let her in or cover her in cauldrons of stewing feces. Kris Jenner is already ten moves ahead on the balance sheet. She's got a 27-slide Powerpoint detailing the revenue models from her disappointing son banging a pro. When the flood comes,...read more

Battle Gunt Sisters Kim Kardashian and Kylie Jenner

The Kardashians may be the first set of public figures who can receive a gynecological exam on the fly. Super tight stretch pants yanked up over artificially inflated fuck areas provide a view of the pubis formerly the realm of obese homeless in cut off sweat pants. Surprised cries of 'Your mulatto baby is crowning' are the new 'you look adorable'. You can't cum hard enough to knock them over. It's a carny trick...read more

Kim Kardashian Insertion Time

Following her second fake marriage blowback, somebody on the Kim Kardashian publicity team decided Kardashian should fly into the middle of trending tragedies like an angel with a gaping rectum. It started with her two hour selfie drop into Haiti after the earthquake. Kardashian tossed faux pearls at the children and told them to contact her if they grew up to be famous black entertainers with decent girth. She...read more

Kim Kardashian Geo-Political Porn Star

Azerbaijan is in that region of Eurasia that no one really knows or gives a shit about unless they're bauxitespeculators. Borders change weekly, corrupt mustachioed officials scream at each other in non-HD video clips, and the West cares only if there's a possible disruption of black crude. There is currently a tenuous ceasefire between Azerbaijan and neighboring Armenia over disputed territory. This after four days...read more

Kanye Buys the Gay Away

Australian ArtistScott Marsh painted a building-side mural of an Internet meme that depicts rapper Kanye West kissing himself. The second Kanye in the painting has Kim Kardashian's body though not necessarily the same STDs. West's people reportedly reached out to Marshand offered him money to paint over themural. If voodoo were real, the mere act of white-washingthe image might make Kanye's gay disappear. Marsh asked...

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