Bad news if you’re a old guy who has enough money to rent a trophy girlfriend but not enough to get one of the good ones, because Kim Zolciak of ‘Real Housewives of Atlanta’ has decided she’s gay now or something.

Kim Zolciak has a new girlfriend, Us magazine can exclusively reveal.
Zolciak, 31, stepped out with her love of three months, DJ Tracy Young, at the Blacks’ Annual Gala in Miami Beach on Saturday.  
A source tells Us, “Tracy broke up with her longtime girlfriend to be with Kim. Since they’ve been together, Tracy lost a lot of weight and got really skinny for Kim. They seem to be beyond happy with each other.”


According to Us and Getty, the “really skinny” DJ is that middle aged lady in the mom jeans on the couch with Zolciak, but that seems hard to believe. What music does she play, “Wheels On The Bus”? Why do lesbians spend so much time and effort to look as terrible as possible? Gay guys look fantastic, all the time. It’s actually a good thing that they’re gay because otherwise it would set an unrealistic standard that I can’t possibly live up to.