Kimberley Garner Thinks She’s Marilyn Monroe

By Travis February 21, 2014 @ 11:00 AM

Kimberley Garner has starred on a reality TV series in England, so naturally she also describes herself as a model and actress, because that’s the kind of bullshit logic that reality shows teach people. But I wouldn’t even be talking about her if she didn’t know how to push all the right buttons, and she got our attention last night when she conveniently let the back of her dress blow up at an event that was honoring Marilyn Monroe. It could have been a party for Marilyn Manson for all I care, but as long as Kimberley was showing off her ass and see-through panties for the whole world, she’d be the guest of honor.

Photo Credits: WENN.com

Kimberley Garner Poses In A Striped Bikini

By Lex January 30, 2014 @ 3:15 PM

Kimberley Garner Poses In A Striped Bikini For A Photo Shoot At The Beach In St Barts
Kimberley Garner is either posing for a photo shoot or she’s trying really hard to let men know she’s fertile. It could be both. When I see a girl like that on the beach, I’m always thinking the same thing, can child support really be that expensive when you’re broke? You can have half my Obamacare, woman. Sure, take some for the baby too. It’s like the Cloak of Invincibility, though I’m sure an uplifting billboard here in Hollywood will remind me even that can’t protect me from getting The AIDS.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI

Kimberley Garner In A Bikini

By Lex September 26, 2013 @ 1:18 PM

Kimberley Garner In A Bikini Poolside In The South Of France
Sometimes a woman’s ass is so fine, you just want to do something stupid. Like write her a poem or tell her you have a real job or ask her to marry you. The poetry and the lying stuff can be really humiliating, but it won’t cost you alimony when she decides she needs to find herself. I’d stick with that.

Here’s British reality show chick Kimberley Garner in a bikini with butt cheeks that look like I doodled them in one of my masturbatory sketches during government class in high school.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI

Kimberley Garner Is Trying Hard to Be Famous

By Lex June 07, 2013 @ 12:55 PM

Kimberley Garner In Low Cut Top For A Photoshoot In London
Fame is an elusive bitch. Like the exact opposite of a stalker girlfriend who won’t give you back your apartment key. This one’s trying not to be found. Kimberley Garner was on a reality show in Britain but she’s trying to get her shit to the next level. It won’t be from barely dressed photo shoots. At some point, she’s going to need to merging her body with somebody higher up on the fame food chain. There should be a book on who to fuck to get famous. Not like they teach that in schools. At least, not in schools outside Los Angeles.

Photo Credit: Splash, WENN

Here’s Kimberley in a bikini shoot licking ice cream cones with her friends. She’s not without her talents.