05.23.2011 Monday headlines, with Michelle Hunziker in a bikini

TREE OF LIFE - won the equivalent of Best Picture at the Cannes Fim Festival this weekend, but experts don’t think that will help much at the box office. But how can that be? Everyone loves the French. If those socialist pussies liked the movie, it should do great here in America. (la times)

KIRSTEN DUNST - was the winner of the Best Actress award at Cannes for her work in ‘Melancholia’. As you now know, Cannes selects winners by randomly choosing a name out of a hat. (ew)

GWYENETH PALTROW - was supposed to be all set to sign a record deal with Atlantic six weeks ago, but talks have stalled, perhaps because she wanted too much money upfront ($1M). Wait, Paltrow is being an unreasonable pain in the ass? Well this is the fist I’ve heard of anything like that. (ny post)

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN 4 - made $90M in its opening weekend, which means there will no doubt be a number 5. If it stars Johnny Depp and Penelope Cruz again, they should call it ‘Voyage of the Mumblers’. (mojo)

MICHELLE HUNZIKER - is a Swiss model, and this weekend she was on the beach in Italy. That’s her in the purple bikini, in case you weren’t putting the pieces together yet. (splash news)

22 photos in gallery >

Tags: bikini, brad pitt, gwyneth paltrow, headlines, kirsten dunst, michelle hunziker, pirates of the caribbean, weekend box office |

22 Comments

05.18.2011 Lars von Trier isn’t really a Nazi

This morning at Cannes, Danish director Lars von Trier had a press conference (which you can watch here) for his movie ‘Melancholia’, starring Kirsten Dunst. Now, if you don’t know, von Trier is pretty goofy, and he’ll say goofy shit in interviews because that’s easier than giving a real answer.

Well this morning he was asked about the fact that his father wasn’t the man who raised him, but actually someone he never met, which was something his mother only told him on her deathbed when he was 33. This was also when he learned then that he wasn’t Jewish, but actually half Jewish and half German.

So in response to this question, Lars said…

“I really wanted to be a Jew and then I found out I was really a Nazi, because my family was German. Which also gave me some pleasure.
“What can I say? I understand Hitler. I think he did some wrong things, yes, absolutely. He’s not what you’d call a good guy, but I understand much about him and I sympathize with him a little bit.”
“I don’t mean I’m in favor of World War II and I’m not against Jews, in fact I’m very much in favor of them. All Jews. Well, Israel is a pain in the ass [pause] … How can I get out of this sentence?
OK, I’m a Nazi.”

And later when asked about independent films vs. studio films, he added…

“Yeah, we Nazis have a tendency to try to do things on a greater scale. Yeah, maybe you could persuade me [to do] The Final Solution—with journalists.”

Lars has joked that he was a Nazi before, and he didn’t mean it then either, and even though he has now apologized for what he said today, people are still freaking out. It’s not even a good joke. If you want to freak out over a joke, try this one: what’s the best part of taking a shower with a 12 year old girl? Get her hair wet and she looks 10. There. At least that’s a solid joke to complain about.

(image source = wenn)

13 photos in gallery >

Tags: kirsten dunst, lars von trier |

5 Comments

04.07.2011 Kirsten Dunst is as hot as ever

Remember when Kirsten Dunst was a huge star? That was weird, huh?

But it’s true. And it drove me insane. She was my nemesis. Not only was she disgusting to look at, with her cold clammy fishlike skin and creepy little baby teeth offset by two big giant fangs, but she was a spoiled bitch. She was so arrogant she even said Spiderman should die at the end of Spiderman 3 and Spiderman 4 should be all about her. And she meant it. Yet producers kept hiring her to haltingly deliver lines in their movie. It was madness.

Then, finally, people seemed to catch on. And here she is today, after a workout in Studio City. Go ahead. Check out the girl who was on Maxims Hot 100 four times before my tireless campaign to drive her out of Hollywood.

I don’t want to overstate this but I feel I should be considered one of historys greatest heros.

17 photos in gallery >

Tags: kirsten dunst |

Comments Off

05.24.2010 snaggletooth is back at cannes

The Most Beautiful Woman In The World, Kirsten Dunst, showed off her disgusting clammy skin and dead stringy hair when she went swimming in Cannes this weekend. It was a real feast for the eyes, especially when she spread her legs and lead with her vagina to enter the water.

What a spaz. She already had one foot in the water. All she had to was fall forward. Instead she jabbed at the ocean with her vagina like it was a weapon. She’s so ugly it makes me uncomfortable. I’d rather slam my dick in a car door than into this creepy monster.

(source = fame pictures)

15 photos in gallery >

Tags: bikini, kirsten dunst |

17 Comments

04.20.2009 coachella was a feast for the eyes

There was some serious eye candy at Coachella this weekend, including the Most Beautiful Woman in the World, Kirsten Dunst, and without a bra no less. It’s sort of admirable that she wouldn't wear a bra and also pull her hair up so it looks short. It’s like she’s a boy, which is way more honest than pretending she looks anything like a human girl.

(image source = wenn)

7 photos in gallery >

Tags: coachella, kirsten dunst |

149 Comments

12.02.2008 LEAVE MY KIKI ALONE

It's no surprise that the most beautiful woman in the world would have a stalker. The surprise is that she hasn’t had hundreds and hundreds. The BBC says…

Kirsten Dunst has gained a restraining order against a man caught trespassing in her home.
Christopher Smith is due to appear in court later this month after Dunst's personal assistant carried out a citizen's arrest on him in November.
The film star was not there at the time, but has since stated that she is "quite frightened" of Mr Smith.
He has been found at Dunst's home several times since in recent weeks, documents have shown.

It may seem weird to think of someone obsessing over this pebble-toothed goblin because you’re imagining it in a sexual way, as if he’s in love with her. But you know who else stalks people? Assassins. I just don’t want everyone being so quick to label this guy as some kind of weirdo. Maybe he just wants to kill her, and really, who among the movie-going public hasn’t daydreamed about doing that.

(picture source = splash)