Porsha Stewart is pretty damn hot, so even if she’s full of shit, I’m going to pretend I’m interested in what she has to say. The idiotic Real Houswife of Atlanta is ranting on TV that her soon to be ex-husband, former NFL QB Kordell Stewart is hiding in the big gay closet. How does she know? Did she catch Kordell going down on Bingo, the Ecuadorian pool boy? Did she notice that he’s taping lots of Ryan Murphy shows on the DVR? Not so much. Porsha has more definitive proof.
“There were definitely times in the marriage that Kordell didn’t necessarily want me, physically, and that made me wonder, what does he want?”
Oh, man, this is a tough one. I want to say that just because a man doesn’t want the bang the snot out of his shrieking harpy of a wife that doesn’t make him gay. But, just look at her. Even if your ears bleed when sounds come of her weaponized maw, you’ve got to throw on some headphones and take your licks. Sure, you can mock her while you’re also bumping nuggets with her best friend behind her back. But if that woman is lying naked in your bed and you’re constantly telling her you need to go jogging… fuck, Kordell, I once had your Buffs poster on my wall. Which probably makes me gayer than you.