Kim and Kourtney Kardashian went rollerblading in Miami this week, and Kourtney is clearly hotter than Kim so if she plays her cards right I may let her have sex with me, but I’m concerned because whatever race they are looks like it would be covered in hair. That’s why Asian chicks are the best. They have really soft skin and are practically hairless. These two look like things could really go to hell fast down there. In two weeks it would be like a pelt, like a raccoon tail was hanging out of her. Like they would start to pant if it was hot out.
This post was actually supposed to be flattering. Not so sure that worked out.
(image source = splash. hq jump = here)
RIHANNA - Lawyers for Chris Brown want the charges dropped because it was all a misunderstanding when he beat the shit out of Rihanna. “He will argue it was a misunderstanding between two young people passionately in love.” Wow. The balls on this guy. (source = the Sun USA)
FATTIES - Did those fatties bring their own bench? Because the bench they’re on doesn’t look bolted down or anything. So I guess that’s a special one they bring from home. Also because it hasn’t collapsed yet. (source = College Humor)
KOURTNEY KARDASHIAN - Kim's hot sister took some slutty pictures for Maxim magazine, which no one reads, and the footage of that shoot will air on “Keeping Up With The Kardashians”, which no one watches. She’s got this Hollywood thing all figured out. (source = the Sun UK)
BRITNEY - Britney Spears put on a bikini last week, and across the internet it was like those movies when a brave warrior stands over a cliff and blows into a conch shell. Creepy perverts everywhere leapt into action to see if they could spot her vagina. Because why wouldn’t they. And they did it! There it is! A blurry line near her hip! What a whore she is. (image source = Splash)
I can't remember which one is Kourtney and which one is Khloe, but the one who doesn’t look like something you’d see in the woods under a net really is the hottest of all the Kardashians. And she spent the weekend in Miami relaxing by a pool. Also pictured: her giant sister. Not pictured: Me. I live a life of international passion and intrigue.
(image source = mavrix online)
