Kylie Jenner and Tyga Posting Bedtime Videos

By Lex September 04, 2015 @ 9:45 AM

Kylie Jenner and Tyga are now posting G-rated bedtime videos of their at home evenings. Kylie is putting on a bedtime facial mask while Tyga is lamenting the fact that he’s not going to get any and wondering who his abandoned baby boy across town is going to grow up to fuck. Lucy and Desi rebooted with an Armenian teen whore and a broke-ass rapper isn’t a hook. What happened to the backdoor lovemaking and plaintive wails for more lotion? Worst Kardashian sex tape ever.

Photo Credit: Getty

Tyga Wrote a Song About Underaged Pussy (VIDEO)

By Lex September 01, 2015 @ 9:08 AM

Tyga wrote a song about how ‘Stimulated’ he gets for teen pussy. It’s a love song of sorts for Kylie Jenner who tries to appear natural in the video even as her low credit score rapper boyfriend is scratching out Jared Fogle inspired lyrics on his detective notepad.

They say she young, I shoulda waited
She a big girl, dog, when she stimulated
She a big girl, dog
I’m gonna do what the fuck I wanna do when I wanna do
She a big girl, dog
I’m puttin’ in, I’m penetratin
I’m gettin’ big, I’m stimulated.

Now that it’s in music video format, everybody can act up in arms about the statutory rape that nobody cared about before. It’s Calabasas, Jake. Mom wants her kids to fuck for fame. Vagina Dad wants to eat crackers off a dick. And Child Protective Services doesn’t care to remember the entry codes at gated communities. Why not write a song about fucking teen girls? Call it My Baby Making Black Thunder Cock Is Banging White High School Girls and You Can’t Do Shit. You’ve already won. Take a lap.

Kylie Jenner Skin Tight Wing Girl

By Lex August 26, 2015 @ 9:15 AM

Kylie Jenner Skin Tight Dress For Kriss Haute Living Cover
Kris Jenner brought out her sex mannequin daughter and her friend from Guam trying to be an immigrated harder whore to remind everybody that her posse rolls hard, big, and will do anal for Bitcoin. Kris Jenner was being celebrated for her new cover of Haute Living magazine, which is apparently a magazine in English published somewhere. Jenner is the opposite of that mom who fights with her teen daughter over dressing inappropriately. If you’re not showing camel toe, you’re not coming. I didn’t buy you tits to cover them up. People no longer want to fuck me, stand close and maybe they’ll get confused. Haute Living starts and ends with using sex to sell. Happy National Women’s Equality Day.

Photo Credit: Getty

The Price Of Kylie Jenner’s Ass And Shit Around The Web

By Jack August 21, 2015 @ 12:00 PM

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Kylie Jenner was recently offered ten million dollars to make a sex tape with Tyga for Vivid. Porn expert Larry Flynt claims Kylie Jenner’s ass is worth a million dollars tops. That’s what he’s offered her to take a naked shit on his grave.

How much would you pay for Kylie’s ass? (TMZ)

Natasha Olenski does the naked news report for Naked News. (Egotastic All-Stars)

Nicola Peltz’s booty will make your eyes bug out like a cartoon wolf. (Drunken Stepfather)

Danica Patrick doing yoga give me an upward facing boner. (Busted Coverage)

Elizabeth Turner’s cleavage is redonkulous. (Hollywood Tuna)

Olivia Culpo bikinis just for you. (Popoholic)

Miss BumBum contestant Claudia Alenda looks just like Megan Fox minus the plastic surgery. (The Chive)

Kendall Jenner and Kourtney Kardashian in Bikinis

By Lex August 21, 2015 @ 10:11 AM

The Kardashians Continue Bikini Adventure In St Barts
Kendall Jenner tried to spell out the name of a new ADHD drug in the sand to earn herself a $30K bonus but ended up drawing a picture of Khloe’s vagina with a giant three headed black baby pushing through. Her artistic skills are often overlooked in light of everything else she has to offer like a flat stomach and being 5’10 and not questioning voice commands from behind curtains. The entire whore family is in St. Bart’s continuing to take shots of their areolae and powdered over track marks so that gay men in six months will have something to watch on E!. None of it makes much sense. Just smile and wave. The GDP of Guyana is in a check in your mailbox back home. Check for open sores before commencing and you might live to spend it.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Kylie Jenner Keeping Her Body Baby Free

By Lex August 20, 2015 @ 10:58 AM

Kylie Jenner And Tyga Hold Hands On Fly Boards
According to people trying to sell magazines next to impulse buy Snickers, Kylie Jenner is pregnant with her older rapper boyfriend’s baby. It’s not a complete shot in the dark as he’s been fucking her brains out since before he had to leave the country to do so legally. This is where babies come from. Insidious black men and innocent white girls. I’ve read the Klan reports. In contrast, HollywoodLife which has never had a named source in its entire history of existence, is reporting exclusively that Kylie Jenner is in fact, not with child:

“Kylie doesn’t want to get pregnant anytime soon, she is obsessed with how her body looks and would like nothing more to have Tyga enjoy it, but not enjoy it too much and give King Cairo a brother or sister”

It’s hard to know whether an uneducated teen in love will try to get that baby or not fuck up her tits so her old man can keep splooging her face from betwixt. Khloe and Kim Kardashian are apparently constantly lecturing Kylie Jenner on safe sex, which in the Kardashian family consists of Diet Dr. Pepper douches and a coat hanger maneuvered in a figure eight in utero because there’s no way your rapper is wearing a condom. This would all be kind of sick if it was happening to somebody you cared about.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet