By Lex January 08, 2016 @ 9:46 AM
It amazes me that tiny ass thongs still have giant laundry tags. Quite unseemly. No, that’s not what I’m really thinking. STD check, double condoms, squeeze, squeeze harder, leave phony name and number, brag to my friends. There’s no reason why two people can’t fuck behind a 7-Eleven and both feel regret. If you must know. Still, those tags. Where’s Jordan?
Photo Credit: AKM-GSI
By Michael December 22, 2015 @ 12:00 PM
The secret of Kendall and Kylie Jenner’s success is pretty obvious when you watch Keeping Up With The Kardashians. Those upright twats never wear bras and sport a lot of see-through shirts. Accentuate your sole positive.
See for yourself. (Last Men On Earth)
Ellie Gonsalves takes off her top in black and white so it’s arty. (Egotastic All-Stars)
Nick Cage had to return a stolen dinosaur skull. No, for real. (TMZ)
Jessica Alba bikinis in December because she is rich and bored. (Drunken Stepfather)
Hot girls hanging in nature is my kind of environmentalism. (Radass)
Showing off their tits is a hot girl’s duty as an American. (The Chive)
Emma Stone is getting some serious camel toe from those pants. (Popoholic)
By Lex December 07, 2015 @ 9:44 AM
Kylie Jenner is in hot water with the disabled for appearing in a wheelchair in seductive BDSM pictorial. Several girls in wheelchairs have taken photos of themselves mocking Kylie because they can’t fathom the principle behind he who laughs last laughs the hardest adage. The magazine quickly made up some bullshit to cover their making fun of the handicapped tracks:
At Interview, we are proud of our tradition of working with great artists and empowering them to realise their distinct and often bold visions. The Kylie Jenner cover by Steven Klein, which references the British artist Allen Jones, is a part of this tradition, placing Kylie in a variety of positions of power and control and exploring her image as an object of vast media scrutiny.
Yeah, I don’t have any idea what that means. So that’s perfect. It’s pretty absurd to assume Kylie has any responsibility for her choice of imagery. You might walk someday. Kylie is never get past forming ‘cat’ in Scrabble. I look which way now, mommy? Looks fade. Smart assholes in wheelchairs go on to run villainous dictatorships well into their golden years. Neither of you will be able to control your bowels at fifty. But you can have people killed who bring it up in jokes. Your glass is half full. Place it gently in your cup holder and take a victory lap.
Photo credit: Tumblr
By Lex December 04, 2015 @ 11:52 AM
GQ is your gay friend who throws parties with tons of hot girls. I know you don’t have a gay friend who throws parties with tons of hot girls. Pretend. Large groups of attractive women feel cool and safe and half naked at his place because he’s consumed with the appropriate Windsor knot and if his signature punch has the right parts Prosecco. Also, he vouches for you and says you like to dance. There has to be a safe space for women to show off their tits and talk about the gender wage gap. Oh, there’s Charlotte McKinney. She says ISIL instead of ISIS. How pretentious. Turn on some house music. It’s time to dance.
Photo Credit: Getty
By Lex December 02, 2015 @ 8:34 AM
There’s a good chance when you try to read into the symbolism of artwork or stylized photography, you’re going to guess wrong. Still, let me take a stab. Whore. That’s also my second guess. Latex gives me a rash. Do you have something in a natural fiber like cum soaked cotton?
Photo Credit: Interview Magazine
By Lex November 23, 2015 @ 11:50 AM
This is why you never talk shit about somebody your friend just broke up with, even when baited. Kendall Jenner posted a photo of her middle finger after her sister busted up with her black midget rapper boyfriend last week. Three days later those two are naturally back together because the first breakup never holds. Especially when underaged anal is involved. The rectum still burns for thee. Now Kylie’s forced to apologize to Tyga for her sister and letting some of his posse touch her tits to make the apology real. In general, stay out of the affairs of short people. God gave the hobgoblins guile and volatility to make up for their lack of stature and bad credit. Why can’t we utter the word eugenics out loud anymore?
Photo Credit: AKM-GSI