Kylie Jenner’s Rolls Royce Ghost has caused controversy among people who believe it’s inappropriate for an eighteen year old chick to buy herself a $350,000 car. Her third. It’s easy to decry base capitalism when the whore is outspending the johns. That seems pretty fucking sexist. Kylie Jenner’s new app is printing money from among a young female audience that feminists will someday decry were never encouraged into the mathematical and computing sciences. Somebody has to serve the Bloomin’ Onion. Kylie Jenner’s family is drowning in bullion and new vaginas. There will be plenty of time in the future to make highly publicized charitable donations that never get delivered. This is your time, Kylie. Hit the freeway doing eighty come next rain and don’t wear a seat belt. Turn off the lights at night. You are invincible. You are the Ghost. I did what to your brakes now?
The sum total of Kylie Jenner’s life work to date might be creating a teen body that makes men young and old want to fuck her, but throw some credit where it’s deserved, she’s succeeded. How many eighteen year olds can cross a major achievement off their wish list. I actually don’t know that answer. I know I hadn’t done shit. The measure of a great nation is the level to which a girl with no particular talent or intellect can rise on her tits and ass alone. You’re more woman than your dad will ever be. Take a bow so we can see better.
Broke-ass statutory raping rapper problems. Having a rich white teen girlfriend shopping at Neiman Marcus while you’re forced to wait outside. The whorelet has an Amex Black. She’s cool. The prepaid cash card and three spliffs means you’re pacing like a douche on the sidewalk. Survey for BHPD. You know they’re out there waiting for you to flash a gang sign you picked up on YouTube. The chokeholds will be tremendous. Ponder BlackLivesMatter and ask yourself if you matter back. I’d use pencil when marking down the protest march date.
Kylie Jenner might’ve walked away from her Terry Richardson photo shoot with the pleasant memories of addict’s tarred fingers up her leathery chute, but everybody else got crap. We’re supposed to get tits. She’s eighteen now, There’s a process for drop-off at Uncle Terry’s Adventure Studio. A cock slap to the ear, you put on his goofy glasses and he takes crappy cyclone backdrop amateur shots of your bare teen tits. You don’t go through TSA at the airport just to get a nine dollar Whopper. This has to be about the money. Set a Kylie Jenner topless target on GoFundMe and I’m good for $25. No, I’m not wearing the autographed button she rubbed against her labia. Yes, I do still want it sent to me.
Kylie Jenner and Tyga are now posting G-rated bedtime videos of their at home evenings. Kylie is putting on a bedtime facial mask while Tyga is lamenting the fact that he’s not going to get any and wondering who his abandoned baby boy across town is going to grow up to fuck. Lucy and Desi rebooted with an Armenian teen whore and a broke-ass rapper isn’t a hook. What happened to the backdoor lovemaking and plaintive wails for more lotion? Worst Kardashian sex tape ever.
Tyga wrote a song about how ‘Stimulated’ he gets for teen pussy. It’s a love song of sorts for Kylie Jenner who tries to appear natural in the video even as her low credit score rapper boyfriend is scratching out Jared Fogle inspired lyrics on his detective notepad.
They say she young, I shoulda waited She a big girl, dog, when she stimulated She a big girl, dog I’m gonna do what the fuck I wanna do when I wanna do She a big girl, dog I’m puttin’ in, I’m penetratin I’m gettin’ big, I’m stimulated.
Now that it’s in music video format, everybody can act up in arms about the statutory rape that nobody cared about before. It’s Calabasas, Jake. Mom wants her kids to fuck for fame. Vagina Dad wants to eat crackers off a dick. And Child Protective Services doesn’t care to remember the entry codes at gated communities. Why not write a song about fucking teen girls? Call it My Baby Making Black Thunder Cock Is Banging White High School Girls and You Can’t Do Shit. You’ve already won. Take a lap.