Kylie Jenner Not Riding Scott Disick

By Lex March 30, 2015 @ 10:59 AM

Kylie Jenner Wears Bikinis With Scott Disick
Somebody spread a rumor that Scott Disik was banging one or both of the Jenner girls. Probably mom. He’s white, so they might be market testing a new angle. Also, he’s the only heterosexual male within ten miles of the family so it’s not illogical. Plus, he drinks. If it boosted ratings they’d probably order him to bang the family Spaniel, or Rob Kardashian when they track him down in Marrakesh. They can’t show it on camera, but they can pan to shocked reactions with Khloe crying and Kim shoving money into her twat because she gets symbolism. When we blurred the lines between porn and garbage, we lost porn forever.

Photo Credit: Instagram

Blac Chyna Robust

By Matt March 27, 2015 @ 6:33 AM

Chyna

Kylie Jenner and Blac Chyna are in a feud because they fucked the same rapper but really who gives a shit. I don’t know what Blac Chyna does or how she differs from any other stripper. It’s possible I banged her once while on mushrooms,. I’d like to concentrate on her hindquarters. The term fat ass can seemingly be used to describe a chick with a plump little ass yet could also be applied to Rosie O’Donnell. It can be a term of endearment or an insult. When someone calls you a cocksucker at their bachelor party and gives you a noogie it’s good feelings all around. Not so in traffic. Blac Chyna does have a fat ass in the sense that it appears it could be more slim. I’m confused why she’s taking it as a point of pride. It appears a certain segment of the population is fetishizing obesity or at the very least likes people who are disproportionate like that dude whose biceps blew up. It’s cool to make fun of the Germans and their scat porn and how the Japanese are Japanese but you shouldn’t throw stones in a glass house. When you turn heads at the airport it’s not always a good thing. Why are there holes in your face?

Kylie Jenner Is Not to Be Taken Lightly

By Lex March 25, 2015 @ 9:30 AM

Kylie Jenner Wears A Bikini
Kylie Jenner’s home schooling by way of a distance GED program in Costa Rica allows her time for reflection and soul searching that many girls her age simply can’t afford. Also, Instagram battles. When the bitch your old man knocked up previous to you starts getting big flashing her diamond encrusted bling from your man you’ve got to cast shade or lose your street cred. Blac Chyna posted an old picture of her Audemars Piguet timepiece her baby daddy Tyga gave her to celebrate her fertility a couple years ago. Kylie Jenner immediately posted a photo of her own wrist wearing the same damn $75,000 watch with the tag ‘currently’. Fuck, it’s Kasparov vs. Fischer if they yelled ‘served’ at each other after every move. Somebody call Child Protective Services and try explaining this one.

Photo Credit: Instagram

Kylie Jenner Seems Demure

By Lex March 19, 2015 @ 9:42 AM

Kylie Jenner Works Out In A Swimsuit
Kylie Jenner posted a couple photos of her tits about to go for a jog. This would normally be obscene for a seventeen year old, but I’m pretty sure Reebok paid her for the photos, so it’s technically grossly obscene. Kris Jenner ran her young daughters through the It’s a Small World of Rape ride several times for psychological desensitization, but these are still children. Children banging older rappers, but children nonetheless. There was a time when we used to coddle the innocence of young girls and allow them to grow up in a space free from exploitation and adult world cynicism. A time when your kindly apartment neighbor Stephen Collins could swab his dick in your grade school daughters’ ears and it didn’t mean a thing. I feel bad for girls like Kylie Jenner. Innocence lost. I’d probably cry while humping her tits and urging her not to speak.

Photo Credit: Instagram

Kylie And Kendall Get A Video Game And Shit Around The Web

By Jack March 17, 2015 @ 12:00 PM

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In another sign of the apocalypse, Kylie and Kendall Jenner are getting their own insipid video game. Their slutty sister Kim Kardashian’s game made millions of dollars because people are super stupid and downloaded it. I wonder if the goal is to get to the STD clinic before a big date with Tyga.

Read all about this stupid fucking game. (Huffington Post)

Enjoy these pics of girls with huge titties because it’s a Tuesday. (The Chive)

What are the best chests of Instagram so far this year? (COED)

Coco Baudelle’s naked ass is out of control. (Egotastic)

Scott Disick goes to rehab because he’s a fucking drunk. (TMZ)

Celebrate St. Patty’s day with Irish hottie Rosalind Lipsett’s swinging shamrocks. (Drunken Stepfather)

Charlotte McKinney’s cleavage makes life worth living. (Hollywood Tuna)

Kylie Jenner Is An Ambassador of Love

By Lex March 16, 2015 @ 9:43 AM

Kylie Jenner Major Cleavage While Repping Her Role As Ambassador For Nip Fab In London
Ambassadorships used to be handed out to old white men who ran petrochemical companies and donated heavily to politics. Now it’s mostly young celebrity chicks with big knockers. I’d call this progress. Kylie Jenner was named Ambassador to the Nip+Fab skincare line in the U.K. which makes balms to keep your nipples luscious and shiny. Also, progress.

Over the weekend, the rapper Tyga who’s been fucking her secretly because it’s illegal couldn’t hold back any longer, posting sweet prose against a picture of his beloved:

Certain things catch your eye, but only few capture the heart.

Pretty smooth. You really have to be if you’re a grown man with a wife and a two-year old who wants to plow underaged chicks. Rumors are swirling that the pair are already engaged and will became B-list rapper husband and booty call official after Kylie turns eighteen this summer. Parents of teen girls everywhere are probably freaked out by the normalizing of this illicit relationship. But not to worry. Unless your daughter happens to be famous and worth several million, most rappers will just bang them pregnant then take off. You don’t have to have them over for dinner.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet