Kyle Jenner Got a G-Class For Her Allowance

By Lex June 11, 2013 @ 9:42 AM

Nobody has a damn car at fifteen. You’re not even allowed to drive. But, if you’re Kylie Jenner, you’ve now got the new Mercedes G-Class SUV. One of the world’s most expensive SUV’s that will only see off-road when Kylie and her friends drunk drive it into a ditch leaving TGI Fridays. Kylie’s been Tweeting about her new gift because that’s what even reality TV star teens do when they get a new ride. You could choose to be jealous of this brat for getting a $125K car before she even gets her license. Or, you can feel sorry for Kylie that when she goes to take her test she’ll have to reveal that she can’t read since her mom pulled her out of grade school to start working the corner. Nobody rides the G for free.

Photo credit: Splash/FameFlynet

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Tags: kylie jenner |

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Kylie Jenner Needs To Do More

By Lex May 30, 2013 @ 11:38 AM

Kylie Jenner is the forgotten Kardashian trollop-in-training. She’s shorter and less model-y than her far more followed sister Kendall Jenner. She’s less obviously annoying and press worthy than her sea hag old half-sisters. She’s just a teen, so she has time to grow into her fame whore role, but if she doesn’t pick up the pace with a DUI arrest or an illegitimate black baby soon, she’s going to find herself out of the family. You earn, you eat.

Here’s Kylie at the After Earth premiere. If you follow her Twitter, you’ll know just how crazy a hair day she had!

Photo Credit: FameFlynet, INF, PCN, WENN

11 photos in gallery >

Tags: kylie jenner |

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Yeah, Jaden Smith Is An Adult

By Travis May 30, 2013 @ 9:00 AM

Jaden Smith is 14-years old, but he has a ton of money that he earned because his father, Will Smith, buys him movie franchises like The Karate Kid to keep him happy in between dropping Kidz Bop rap albums. Because of that money, Jaden thinks that he should be emancipated from his parents and be considered an adult, so he can run around and do whatever the fuck he wants and not have to answer for it. Really, it’s the American dream.

Jaden gave us a good glimpse of “adulthood” yesterday as he went shopping for an Iron Man costume with Kylie Jenner, and then he wore it to lunch at Nobu in New York City. And it’s not even a good Iron Man costume. It’s the kind that middle class kids wear on Halloween. This kid doesn’t deserve all of that wealth, which is why the Kardashians have most likely locked in on him.

(Photo Credit: GSNY/Splash News)

Tags: jaden smith, kylie jenner, will smith |

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Fat Kim Kardashian’s Sisters Don’t Think She’s Fat

By Travis April 02, 2013 @ 9:00 AM

Pregnant sex tape star Kim Kardashian was a guest on The Tonight Show last Thursday, presumably so she and Jay Leno could laugh about how wealthy they are despite being loathed by everyone. But while she was yapping away about her new maternity clothing line or how she tricked Tyler Perry into paying her to act, her younger sisters, Kylie and Kendall Jenner, were defending her against hypothetical mean people.

Asked about the critics who’ve had nasty things to say about Kim’s body, Kylie began, “It pisses me off when people say, ‘You’re so fat,’ to Kim.”

“If you like it, and you feel good…” Kendall interjected.

“I’m like, ‘Are you dumb?’” wondered Kylie.

“She’s pregnant, people,” Kendall said, to which Kylie added, “I don’t get it.” (E!)

Well, it’s pretty simple. Your older sister is married to one guy, but she’s having sex with a different guy and that second guy didn’t wear a condom before he climaxed inside her womb, so she’s pregnant now.

Oh you mean you don’t get why people call Kim fat. My mistake. That’s simple, too. It’s because she has a gigantic ass.

(Photo Credit: Getty)

Jaden Smith Eats Cut Rolls with Kylie Jenner

By Bill March 04, 2013 @ 1:57 PM

You can be cynical and suggest that this sushi date in London over the weekend between Will Smith’s son and Kylie Jenner, the youngest of the Kardashian skeeve sisters, was nothing more than a trumped up, carefully calculated, publicity stunt. But, being a romantic, I like to think Jaden asked Kylie out for more old-fashioned reasons — the Kardashian girls give it up big time for famous black dudes.

Tags: jaden smith, kylie jenner |

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Kendall and Kylie Jenner are in bikinis, true Kardashians

By brendon May 31, 2012 @ 9:35 AM

Ahh, Kris Jenner. We meet again. Because according to the photo agency, Kendall Jenner, who is 16, and Kylie Jenner, who is 14, enjoyed “an afternoon on a secluded beach in Hawaii” yesterday. And it certainly does look secluded. So secluded there’s not even a beach. In fact it looks to be an open field. Which would ensure the paparazzi get clean, unobstructed pictures of teenage Kardashians in bikinis. It’s outrageous the way Kris Jenner makes money by exploiting our forbidden desires I mean sense of decency.

(image source = fame/flynet, splash)