By Matt June 20, 2014 @ 12:20 AM
It’s hard to achieve that real shock vibe when you have a team of media planners working diligently to make you seem shocking. I’m sure Warhol wrote something like that on a cocktail napkin he later wrote his number on and rammed up a twink’s ass. If Lady Gaga announced that her newest video featured her shoving a live ferret and her submissive’s dick into a Robot-Coupe, well, yawn. But bringing together underaged sex pirate R. Kelly and creepy Uncle Terry for the Do Want U Want music video about Lady Gaga willingly being anesthetized so she can be raped with a baby, fuck yeah. I’d watch that. That’s the 2014 version of 2007 girl fights, it’s nauseating, but only for the first several hours.
“Will I ever be able to walk again?”
“Yes, if you let me do whatever I want with your body. I’m putting you under, and when you wake up, you’re going to be pregnant.”
‘m sure there’s some profound meta meaning to this video that is precisely the opposite of what it appears. Like, maybe, rape is bad. Or Lady Gaga feels like she’s let herself be raped by the corporate media in exchange for her success. You know, a bunch of shit her twelve year little monster cutters will certainly discuss in an intelligent manner with a caring adult or mentor. Right after they Google the recipe for homemade roofies so they can get raped by the Judd Nelson lookalike from the other side of the tracks who got held back twice.
You won’t see the entire video ever. The label has decided to burn it, then take the ashes out to sea to be consumed by an orca that will further dilute the evidence in orca feces. But TMZ got a peek at it first. Or paid somebody to give them a peek in the grand tradition of peeks. It’s up above until such time as the Sentinels blast it out of cyberspace.
By Lex June 19, 2014 @ 1:15 PM
Lady Gaga is riding high. She just scored a coveted MTV Japan Video Award for her most recent Madonna rip off song. She’s close to sealing her domestic sales fate with a Live at Budokan album. To celebrate being big in Japan, Gaga got a big ass trumpet tattoo on her right bicep. I can’t remember all her previous tattoos, but she’s got some peace signs, dragons, roses, and oddly a map to where Stalin secretly imprisoned all the gay gypsies after the war.
lets go it’s jazz time world — Lady Gaga on Instagram commenting on her new tat.
And now it’s wake up time and you’ve got a brass instrument you don’t play etched across your humerus. Nothing is more jazzy than regret.
Photo Credit: INFphoto.com, Splash
By Lex June 17, 2014 @ 11:56 AM
Photo Credit: AKM-GSI, Splash
By Lex June 13, 2014 @ 4:32 PM
Lady Gaga is finally realizing her destiny to look like the wealthy Bolivian sister no man came to court. She’s just signed on with Live Nation so she can be managed by the same people who miraculously churn out millions of screaming Europeans for Madonna decades after her shock pop relevancy faded. Live Nation makes you money on the decades long downside. With Lady Gaga only finding only 700,000 sad angry cutters to buy her last album, it’s time for more elaborate video sets on stage, holiday retrospectives, Bests Of albums, and probably Kabbalah. With that pleasant punim and a magical wristband, Lady Gaga is going to churn cash until the end of time.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet, INFphoto.com
By Lex May 23, 2014 @ 4:49 PM
For Justin Bieber and KD Lang and Michael Buble and Ellen Page and Dead Cory Monteith and Drake and everybody not named Rush or Triumph or Gretzky, here’s Lady Gaga wearing no pants in the streets of Winnipeg. I don’t know why she’s not wearing pants. I don’t care why she’s not wearing pants. I just want you to know how truly crappy Neil Young music is and fucking apologize with some smuggled cigarettes. Only then will we take Lady Gaga back. You can euthanize her dog. With all the shit he’s been forced to see he’ll probably bound into the gasser.
Photo Credit: AKM-GSI
By Lex May 14, 2014 @ 12:56 PM
Cheeky. Get it? Fuck you. Somebody has to give that Gaga some loving. Even girls who resemble frightened woodland mammals need a little ass grabbing from a hunky boyfriend like Taylor Kinney. If I were Lady Gaga’s boyfriend, I’d constantly be toying with her rear. In fact, I’d tell her that if she truly loved me, she’d never turn around at all. Only I’d figure out a way to make it sound more romantic and less like her distressed marmoset face was killing my boners.
Photo Credit: AKM-GSI, FameFlynet, Pacific Coast News