By Lex September 04, 2013 @ 1:10 PM
If you happen to be a young woman who feels like nobody understands you, or a young man who feels like even those misunderstood girls wouldn’t understand why you have the heel of your mom’s best shoes wedged up your rectum, you probably can’t wait for the release of ARTPOP, Lady Gaga’s new album. It’s coming out on Veteran’s Day in honor of the fact that any male soldier caught listening to the album in the barracks will probably be beaten to death with a pillow case full of soap bars. Gaga debuted seven new songs from the album at the iTunes Festival in London while wearing a clam shell bikini. Many people said she reminded them of Botticelli’s Birth of Venus. Others that she made them feel like they’d just eaten bad clams. Art really is personal.
Photo Credit: INFphoto.com
By Lex September 02, 2013 @ 1:59 PM
Lady Gaga paraded around London over the weekend in over ten different idiotic costumes ranging from a Mickey Mouse head to a pig nose in an effort to remind the people of London that she’s a cheap stunt visual artist as well as an overblown musical one. She wound up her weekend going out in a Mary Lou Retton prostitute see-through leotard because showing off her tits gets most everybody to shut the fuck up. Gaga’s in London to perform at the big iTunes concert series there. It’s free to get in, but in a week you’ll get a bill for $1.49 for every shitty Lady Gaga, Justin Timberlake, or Elton John song you sat through.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet, PCN
By Lex August 30, 2013 @ 12:04 PM
People really into fashion because they were never good at sports like to interpret Lady Gaga’s various odd ball outfits as profound statements of social exhibition. It’s just, wow, meat suit! Lady Gaga is slathered in a bucket of human waste, she’s done it again! If this were Amanda Bynes coming out of a hotel with a rope net over her head and tights flashing her crotch everybody would be talking about how fucking nuts and horrible she looked. You want to impress me, Gaga? Hit the streets engulfed in flame. I’ll golf clap. And tell my kids someday about you.
Photo Credit: INFphoto.com, PCN
By Lex August 27, 2013 @ 1:25 PM
The thing about Lady Gaga is I can’t remember if I turn to stone if I look into her eyes or she looks into my eyes. Either way it’s best to only view her through the reflection of your shiny shield.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet, PCN
By Lex August 26, 2013 @ 6:20 PM
Have you ever pondered how they make those rough looking chicks into stage beauty when the lights go on? Yeah, aren’t you the deep thinker. None of that applies to Lady Gaga, who goes from pre-game rambleshack to game time Sleestack, and it still takes an armada of resources just for that junior league metamorphosis. Terry Richardson tagged along to track Lady Gaga’s preparations during the day of the VMAs. I was going to say he saw her naked a lot to remind himself why he doesn’t like girls. But Terry is one of the few hetero celebrity photographers in New York, so I’m going to guess he did it to get paid. Sex and money are what drives men. In relation to gigs for Gaga, be clear up front that you want the money.
Photo Credit: Terry Richardson
By Lex August 20, 2013 @ 12:56 PM
Lady Gaga took a ride in an old convertible without any pants on to celebrate the debut of her music video ‘Applause’ on Good Morning America. Throngs of moderately retarded fans cheered in the streets of New York as Gaga made her way slowly toward the ABC studios like a conquering hero. The celebratory mood was broken when a shawarma vendor grumbled under his breath that Gaga’s music is boring and repetitive and she looks like Chumley from Tennessee Tuxedo. The crowd quickly dispersed and everyone went home disillusioned. The last person left was forced to wipe her shmear off the backseat.
Photo Credit: AKM-GSI