By Lex November 08, 2013 @ 1:43 PM
You may know Jeff Koons as the artist who makes shiny metal and glass sculptures out of common icons of pop culture. You may know Lady Gaga as the woman who looks like the mentally disturbed patient from 4C that even the randy orderlies are too scared to grope after lights out. The two have teamed up for a photo shoot of Lady Gaga naked with a blue glass ball covering her lady parts. For those of you who didn’t take five years of junior college art, I can tell you rather definitively that the blue ball represents our healthy planet threatened by the noxious industrial gases produced by Lady Gaga’s vagina. See how she’s smothering Mother Earth with her carbon demon. Start riding mopeds or we’re all being sucked up into that itchy morass like the USS Constellation into the Doomsday Machine.
Photo Credit: Jeff Koons
By Lex November 04, 2013 @ 2:10 PM
Men don’t understand the intimate connection a woman has to feel before she flashes her beaver in public. It’s not just a physical thing. It’s an intense spiritual bridge between hairy clam owner and a couple thousand gay British men moderately to severely disappointed that a prick didn’t pop out of Lady Gaga’s panties. The emotions were so intense that Lady Gaga broke down in tears on her departure from London the next morning. Though maybe she was also crying because no prick popped out. That has to be a daily disappointment.
By Lex October 29, 2013 @ 2:58 PM
At some point years ago Kelly Osbourne had the bright idea to call Lady Gaga a butterface. Yes, we all see the irony. Lady Gaga’s carrot-brained junior scouts swore vengeance on Ozzy’s booze and food addled daughter and called her a fat cow and talked about burying her in the desert and other Internet anon pleasantries. In the latest lame shot across the bow, Lady Gaga had the nerve to show off a birthday cake she got for Kelly, but presented on the X-Factor to her mom in the U.K. while Kelly was in Los Angeles. Kelly tweeted a picture of the cake back to Gaga and told her to #EatMyShit. I guess she really wanted that fucking cake in person. Now the war is afoot once more. Lots of high strung mall employees will not survive.
Photo Credit: Getty
By Lex October 28, 2013 @ 3:36 PM
Lady Gaga stripped off all her clothes at a London nightclub looking like Grandpa Munster slipped her a potion to drive her snooping ass out of the house. I’m told the nightclub attendees were mostly gay men who used the evening to assure themselves that women are gross and cocks rule. If Lady Gaga had turned around to face the crowd she might have provided them a visual conundrum.
Photo Credit: WENN
By Lex October 25, 2013 @ 10:02 AM
Photo Credit: FameFlynet, INFphoto.com
By Travis October 25, 2013 @ 10:00 AM
On any normal day, Lady Gaga might act like an asshole because she craves constant attention, but whenever she has a new album out, she just takes the routine to a whole new level because she’s desperate for attention and she needs to make sure her bubble gum pop music stays relevant and makes her a little more money. So once she shed the Triscuit albino pube mask yesterday, she made her way to the Berghain club in Berlin to promote “Artpop” while sporting a fake mustache. “Look at how unique she is, and how she’s nothing like Madonna at all,” said one person who will totally forget who this chick is in five years.
Photo Credits: Future Image/WENN.com