Lady Gaga Continues To Champion Impotence

By Travis October 25, 2013 @ 10:00 AM

On any normal day, Lady Gaga might act like an asshole because she craves constant attention, but whenever she has a new album out, she just takes the routine to a whole new level because she’s desperate for attention and she needs to make sure her bubble gum pop music stays relevant and makes her a little more money. So once she shed the Triscuit albino pube mask yesterday, she made her way to the Berghain club in Berlin to promote “Artpop” while sporting a fake mustache. “Look at how unique she is, and how she’s nothing like Madonna at all,” said one person who will totally forget who this chick is in five years.

Photo Credits: Future Image/

Lady Gaga Looks Amazing

By Lex October 24, 2013 @ 4:44 PM

Lady Gaga Steps Out In A Weird Fur Mask Leaving The Ritz Carlton In Berlin
Lady Gaga left the Ritz in Berlin forgetting that she was still wearing the fur Triscuit mask her boyfriend prefers her to don during cuddles time. The Triscuit is a mildly underrated snack chip, but if Gaga could find a giant Doritos mask, mmm, I’d probably lose it in my pants before we even got going.

Photo Credit: WENN

Stop It Lady Gaga, You’re Making Us Hot

By Travis October 08, 2013 @ 9:00 AM

Lady Gaga has been teasing her upcoming album ARTPOP for all of her fans with artwork and meaningless pictures of her in the studio, but last night she really drove home how much this record means to her by posting this selfie to Instagram. “Tired as fuck,” she wrote before rambling on about loving this album or whatever, and then she clicked submit on the image, thus ensuring that every last male fan of hers that wasn’t already gay would never touch a vagina again for the rest of their lives.

Lady Gaga Sued By Former Assistant

By Jack September 13, 2013 @ 3:38 PM

Meat couture enthusiast Lady Gaga is being sued by a former assistant and friend for being such a demanding bitch. The lawsuit claims that in the time Jennifer O’Neill worked for lady freakshow she basically had no life and wasn’t paid overtime for being at the star’s fucking beck and call 24/7. She had to sleep in the same bed as Lady Gaga just in case she needed anything in the middle of the night. This has got to be tough as I imagine Lady Gaga sleeps in some weird places like in a cocoon of bear placentas or upsidedown like a bat. O’Neil says she didn’t know it was going to be like that. Really? You didn’t know stars can demand all of your fucking time? Lady Gaga says,

“You don’t get a schedule. You don’t get a schedule that is like you punch in and you can play … at your desk for four hours and then you punch out at the end of the day. This is when I need you, you’re available.”

A fair point. As fucking ridiculous as caring fo the needs of one of these pampered twats is, you have to know what you’re getting yourself into when you go to work for them. Especially for someone as fucking weird as Lady Gaga. You are going to end up making butter sculptures of Valdimir Putin and getting hemeroid cream for fat drag queens at 5am.

Lady Gaga Is a Good Girlfriend

By Lex September 09, 2013 @ 5:53 PM

Lady Gaga Steps Out Of Her Apartment In A Mask In New York
Lady Gaga came out of her apartment in New York with her face completely concealed behind a mask. Some read it as a grand social statement but those close to Lady Gaga know it was just something she promised to do for her boyfriend Taylor Kinney for his birthday. It’s so much harder to imagine Cameron Diaz when you’re looking right into that bewildered Gaga mug.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Lady Gaga Poses With Lipstick on Her Bare Tits

By Lex September 05, 2013 @ 11:48 AM

Lady Gaga Poses Topless In Face Paint In The September 2013 Issue Of V Magazine
Every time one of the world’s most famous music artists takes off her clothes for the camera, it’s newsworthy, if not a visual ipecac for the soul. So quit with the fucking ‘quit giving attention whores attention’ letters. You have to chalk mark the begrudging respect column for Lady Gaga’s total lack of shame. If Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera would’ve done photos like this in their early 20′s, I probably would’ve had to say I liked them a lot more too. Still, there’s something about seeing Lady Gaga naked that makes me feel like I’m at a modern art exhibit where everybody better educated than me is murmuring the word ‘genius’ about a vagina shaped bag of sand resting on an overturned Dunkin Donuts coffee cup. I don’t get it. I don’t want to get it. I just want to take off this stupid tie, grab a beer, and watch some rigged jai ala matches.

Photo Credit: V Magazine