Lake Bell Strips In Esquire

By Lex April 16, 2014 @ 1:21 PM

Lake Bell Strips For The May Issue Of Esquire
I can’t abide people who use old memes and then feel obliged to explain them as if they’d just invented fire. I remember drunk discussing Lake Bell with an old roommate who told me she was the ultimate Hollywood butterface, then felt compelled to explain the meaning of the pun. I found myself becoming filled with a shapeless rage. It’s not the sexism that bothers me, it’s the lack of grounding. Unless you’re Leonardo Dicaprio and you’re pulling a different world class lingerie model for every time somebody made a gay joke about you in middle school, you’re pushing that same set of Sisyphean balls up the lady hill we all are. You’d run over your tightest bro’s before ho’s buddy for the chance to lay biblically upon Lake Bell. That’s the power of truth that surged down my arm and into my fist as I punched him square in his man titties, Fucking Craigslist.

Photo Credit: Esquire

Lake Bell Gets Painted Nude

By Lex August 13, 2013 @ 3:32 PM

Lake Bell Gets Nude And Painted For The Cover Of New York Magazine
Body painting seems to be a big thing these days. Who doesn’t see a naked girl and think, man, I’d like to paint her to obscure her best stuff. I guess it turns naked girls into art and that makes it okay to put them on your magazine cover without people calling you a pornographer. I don’t mind being called a pornographer as my high school guidance counselor said that would be the upper limits of my achievement potential. I know if I ran the world you would be able to see Lake Bell’s tits without paint. Just saying, when the vote comes around, remember that.

Photo Credit: New York Magazine