By Lex August 28, 2014 @ 9:09 AM
Every time I post a picture of Lake Bell, some tool feels obligated to whip out the Butter Face reference. Then some bigger tool will retort with ‘you don’t fuck the face’. The most moronic exchange in the history of the written language only reinforces my desire never to post pictures of Lake Bell. This is how Lake Bell discrimination begins. I hope she sues.
Photo Credit: GQ Australia
By Lex April 16, 2014 @ 1:21 PM
I can’t abide people who use old memes and then feel obliged to explain them as if they’d just invented fire. I remember drunk discussing Lake Bell with an old roommate who told me she was the ultimate Hollywood butterface, then felt compelled to explain the meaning of the pun. I found myself becoming filled with a shapeless rage. It’s not the sexism that bothers me, it’s the lack of grounding. Unless you’re Leonardo Dicaprio and you’re pulling a different world class lingerie model for every time somebody made a gay joke about you in middle school, you’re pushing that same set of Sisyphean balls up the lady hill we all are. You’d run over your tightest bro’s before ho’s buddy for the chance to lay biblically upon Lake Bell. That’s the power of truth that surged down my arm and into my fist as I punched him square in his man titties, Fucking Craigslist.
Photo Credit: Esquire
By Lex August 13, 2013 @ 3:32 PM
Body painting seems to be a big thing these days. Who doesn’t see a naked girl and think, man, I’d like to paint her to obscure her best stuff. I guess it turns naked girls into art and that makes it okay to put them on your magazine cover without people calling you a pornographer. I don’t mind being called a pornographer as my high school guidance counselor said that would be the upper limits of my achievement potential. I know if I ran the world you would be able to see Lake Bell’s tits without paint. Just saying, when the vote comes around, remember that.
Photo Credit: New York Magazine