Lance Armstrong Will Throw You Under Any Bus

Lance Armstrongrammed his SUV into some parked cars while super proud girlfriend Anna Hansen rode shotgun. They had returned from anart museum party which might infer Armstrong was drunk. Also Hansentold police Armstrong was drunk, but lied to them and said she was driving because she'd seen all those beer commercials about responsible drinking. Problem is shetold a witness Lance was driving before the pair got her...

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Lance Armstrong Is Doing Fine

Like most disgraced and publicly humbled celebrities Armstrong spends his time banging models, drinking specialty margaritas he created called Lanceritas, and playing golf. He also realized he was 42 and it was time to stop riding around on a bike. Armstrong is still bothered by the fact he was singled out for cheating in a sport where everyone cheated so he kind of acts like the rich kid who had his beemer impounded...

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Lance Armstrong Had to Cheat

Lance Armstrong is working his way through the six stages of grief. Or the five steps of loss. Or some such shit when you lose all of your career titles and accomplishments because you got caught cheating and being a dick. His latest step involves justifying his doping as necessary to win the Tour de France since everybody else was doing it. Oh, so if everybody else was cutting out a nut you'd do that too, Lance? What...

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Did Sheryl Crow lie to the fed's about Lance Armstrong?

Lance Armstrong has now admitted that he took every drug imaginable while winning the Tour de France seven consecutive times, from 1999 to 2005, which means he was taking every drug imaginable while engaged to Sheryl Crow (they began dating in 2003, broke up in 2006). That's relevant because, as the New York Daily News reported back in August, Crow was interviewed to find out what she knew, if anything, about his...

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give Lance Armstrong a call

I hate to impose but look, he said it himself on twitter, he's happy to help. I'm gonna see if he can score me some HGH.

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KATE HUDSON IS SINGLE

Us magazine is reporting that Kate Hudson and Lance Armstrong broke up this weekend after three months of dating. The news comes as a shock to many, because these two are so dull it was easy to forget they were alive, much less a couple. "There was no drama or ugliness – They just decided to end things," a source close to the couple tells Us. "There is no hatred, just sadness."The pair quickly became inseparable with...

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RANDOM MORNING STUFF

SHERYL CROW IS UPTIGHT - Sheryl Crow doesn't approve of her ex-boyfriend Lance Armstrong dating Ashley Olsen. Presumably because Lance is 36 and Ashley is 21. Life and Style says, "Sheryl rolled her eyes and said, 'That's pathetic. Ashley's a kid.' " Whatever. Sheryl is just jealous because she's 45, and now her ex is stabbin someone half her age. If they even are having sex. Maybe Lance just likes her as a companion....

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PARIS HILTON AND LANCE ARMSTRONG?

In what has to be the weirdest possible celebrity pairing imaginable, Lance Armstrong was seen earlier this week at a club on the Sunset Strip with Paris Hilton. Page Six says: The two showed up to the Key Club in L.A. Tuesday night to catch the band the Vacation. "They came together, they hung out and left together," said our spy. There’s simply no possible way this hussy has some layer of depth that makes her...

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