Lance Armstrong Will Throw You Under Any Bus

February 4, 2015 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Lance Armstrong rammed his SUV into some parked cars while super proud girlfriend Anna Hansen rode shotgun. They had returned from an art museum party which might infer Armstrong was drunk. Also Hansen told police Armstrong was drunk, but lied to them and said she was driving because she’d seen all those beer commercials about responsible drinking. Problem […]


Lance Armstrong Is Doing Fine

July 9, 2014 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Like most disgraced and publicly humbled celebrities Armstrong spends his time banging models, drinking specialty margaritas he created called Lanceritas, and playing golf. He also realized he was 42 and it was time to stop riding around on a bike. Armstrong is still bothered by the fact he was singled out for cheating in a […]


Lance Armstrong Had to Cheat

June 29, 2013 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Lance Armstrong is working his way through the six stages of grief. Or the five steps of loss. Or some such shit when you lose all of your career titles and accomplishments because you got caught cheating and being a dick. His latest step involves justifying his doping as necessary to win the Tour de […]


Did Sheryl Crow lie to the fed’s about Lance Armstrong?

January 19, 2013 | celebrity | Brendon| 0 Comments

Lance Armstrong has now admitted that he took every drug imaginable while winning the Tour de France seven consecutive times, from 1999 to 2005, which means he was taking every drug imaginable while engaged to Sheryl Crow (they began dating in 2003, broke up in 2006). That’s relevant because, as the New York Daily News […]


give Lance Armstrong a call

September 14, 2012 | celebrity | Brendon| 0 Comments

I hate to impose but look, he said it himself on twitter, he’s happy to help. I’m gonna see if he can score me some HGH.