The UFC’s Pool Party Looked Wonderful

By Travis July 05, 2013 @ 9:00 AM

I don’t watch the UFC very much, because I prefer that my organized fights include homeless people and little bags of crystal meth, but I’m told that the UFC has some very attractive ring girls that walk around in bikinis in between rounds. Sure enough, those girls were all hanging out at the UFC’s 4th of July pool party at the Aria’s Liquid Pool in Las Vegas yesterday.

While the most important part is that they had girls in bikinis looking very attractive, I hope the fighters there were smart enough to invite one or two British guys to boss around for the day. And if they talked back or acted up, they beat the shit out of them while the girls in bikinis cheered. That’s about the most American thing I can think of.

(Photo Credits: Judy Eddy/

Joanna Krupa Is A Diabolical Genius

By Travis June 10, 2013 @ 10:00 AM

Polish supermodel Joanna Krupa has long been considered one of the most beautiful women in the world. But at 34 years old, she’s hitting the back side of her career, and there are obviously younger, more attractive models out there for her to compete with. That’s why she was smart enough to resort to reality TV and land a role on the Real Housewives of Miami.

Some people might see the move as a desperate plea for attention and money, but after Joanna and her castmates showed up to Ditch Saturdays at the Palms Pool inside the Palms Casino Resort in Las Vegas this weekend, her true genius was on display for everyone. What better way to make yourself look younger and more beautiful than ever than by surrounding yourself with more plastic surgery than a burn ward?

(Photo Credits: Judy Eddy/

Hello, 2013 Miss USA Contestants

By Travis June 07, 2013 @ 10:00 AM

Say what you want about Donald Trump – he’s an egomaniacal monster with hair that was scraped off the floor of an animal kill shelter or he’s a brilliant social troll who knows how to keep his name relevant my pushing the buttons of easily enraged buffoons for the sake of his stale TV show – but without him and his love for hot, young women, we wouldn’t have the Miss USA pageant to pretend to care about each year.

And Trump doesn’t need to send his girls on goodwill tours or have them perform shows for people, not when they have bikinis and Las Vegas pools at their disposal, as they did yesterday when they showed up at the GO Pool inside the Flamingo Hotel and Casino. Sure, they probably all have at least pink eye now, but still… how the hell are ya, Miss Nevada?

(Photo Credits: Judy Eddy/

Crystal Hefner Is An American Hero

By Travis May 27, 2013 @ 10:00 AM

Charlie Sheen was scheduled to be the celebrity host of this past Saturday’s Memorial Day Weekend Salute pool party at the Sapphire Pool and Day Club in Las Vegas, and of course he bailed on that. Maybe he was caught up in filming a scene for a movie or his show, or maybe he just decided not to get up from between whatever soulless and fatherless 19-year old girls that he passed out on top of the night before. Either way, it left Sapphire’s management with a big decision to make.

Fortunately, they made the right call and just had the other celebrity guest, Crystal Hefner, stand around in her extra small bikini and blow kisses at people. And if someone showed up and asked where Charlie was, she’d just tell them, “He’s dead” and then bounce up and down.

(Photo Credits: Judy Eddy/

Gabrielle Union + Las Vegas = Perfect

By Travis May 21, 2013 @ 11:00 AM

Back in February, there were some pretty nasty rumors that Miami Heat star Dwyane Wade was cheating on his model girlfriend Gabrielle Union with random NBA groupie skanks, and some websites even posted a letter that was allegedly written by a girl who claimed to have not only been in Wade’s home, but also that she had pictures of his bags in her hotel room. Gabrielle shot down the rumors on Twitter, saying that the same girl made the same claims a year before, adding, “Take ur meds.”

That said, it must be tough to be Gabrielle, knowing that there are girls out there who attend NBA games with the sole purpose of trying to sleep with players like Dwyane. So it’s nice to see that she took a little vacation to Las Vegas this week, where she enjoyed a bottle of vodka while a friend slapped her ass. Don’t let the haters get to you, Gabrielle.